Break Free Chapter 21

Posted on 7:16 PM | By Biki Honko | In

"Morgan, talk to us.  What on earth happened to Soah today?  She is lit up like a christmas tree!"  Sam was slightly concerned about Morgan's answer, when he blushed.

"Well, umm, kissed.  Quite a lot actually.  And I told her, um, ah, that I love her."

"Morgan!  You heard what both of the doctors told you!  She needs to figure out who she is, before she gets involved in a relationship."

"I know, I know!  Don't you think that all day, Dr. Layton's voice has been running thru my damned head?  But, if you had been there you would have understood.  Well, if you had been there, it wouldn't have happened.  Do you know what Soah did?  I got mad at myself for loosing control and kissing her and......   She went upstairs and brought down Book, and had me read a little of it!  She had me read Book!  Worried the entire time that it could make me not like her any more, just to make me feel better.  After I read Book, she was expecting me to get up and leave and never come back.  How could I not tell her after she trusted me like that?  I couldn't keep it to myself any longer!  I think Dr. Layton is wrong!  She does know who she is!  She is just unsure about all of us!"

"She wanted you to read Book?  Really?  Did it make your feel better?"  Sam was leaning forward in his chair totally focused on Morgan.  Morgan looked over at Cecile who had an unreadable expression on her face.  In his short life, not getting any reading from a woman's face was never a good sign.

"Yeah, it did.  It explained a lot of different things, that I had been wondering about for a while.  And until she tells me different, I am not saying anything more."

Cecile broke into the conversation with, "Kissing and what?  Just what else did you two do?"

Turning beet red, Morgan looked to Sam for help.  Seeing the deer in the headlight look on his face, Sam took pity on him. "Did everyone's clothes remain on?"


"Hands on the inside of clothing?"


"Are you going to let it get that far again?"

"No, well I umm, will try, not to, ah let things...get...try to tell her....umm....  I still feel guilty, about this morning.  I mean she is 15!"

Cecile leaned forward and looking dead into Morgan's eyes, and with a very serious voice said, "Morgan, your teen years are gone, you are a man and it is time you start acting like it.  Until we give you the say so, kissing and hugging is the end of the physical contact between you two.  I am glad that you acknowledge the fact that she is only 15.  In some ways she is much older, and is going to push you to move faster than we are going to allow her.  Learn this new phrase, and learn it well.  No Soah!"  Morgan looked at Sam to see what he was thinking about everything Cecile had been saying, when Cecile's voice broke into his thoughts, "Don't you look at him for help.  In this matter, I am in charge, and only me.  I will be having a talk with Soah about this."

"What about Friday?  Is the answer no?"

"Sam what do you think?"

"I think she can go, depending if you double with someone else.  It is not that I don't trust you.  Right now I think it would be best if she is not alone with you.  If I can figure out what you were stumbling through earlier, she got to a certain point and didn't want to stop?"

Just when his blush was leaving, it was back in a flash again.  "That is not what I meant, umm well, yeah."

"Girls have the same desires as guys." Cecile gave Morgan a firm look continuing on, " For now on, I want you two to leave in the morning when we do.  There will no being here in the house alone.  That should reduce the chances of what happened this morning happening again.  I am going to trust you both in this matter during the day.  Luckily Soah is so afraid of making us mad, that after I talk to her about this, I don't think it will be an issue anymore.  But, until she becomes used to the new rules, no alone time.  Who do you know that would double with you two?"

"How about Dave and Kevin?  Would they be interested in tagging along?" Sam looked at Cecile to see if she approved of his choice, she nodded at Sam.

"I don't know, I could ask them."

"Call them now.  I want to get this settled.  Cecile will be talking to Soah tonight about what behavior we find acceptable."

"Hey Dave, ya got a minute?  No, every things fine. Are you two free Friday?  Umm, well I want to take Soah on a date, and we need to double.  Movie and chinese food.  Not sure, need to check to see what is playing, why?  Oh, that sounds good!  She will like that one!  Huh?  If you want me to.  No, I don't mind. Bye."

"They will go.  Dave suggested a movie that I know Soah will like, and you will approve of.  It is a Miyazaki film."

"Good!  Let's go tell Soah, I know she must be stewing over this."  Sam patted Morgan on his back, "We do trust you.  It is different when you love them, isn't it?  Talk to Kevin and Dave about it.  You want to hold on so tight, for fear they will somehow disappear."

When Morgan came into the kitchen, Soah was working with Talia making dinner, but the light had gone out of her.  She was moving by route, not giving much attention to what she was doing.  Hearing footsteps her head shot up, and seeing the large smile on Morgan's face, like flipping a switch, Soah sprang to life again.  Flooded with light, smiling with her happiness, she ran into Morgan's arms.

"I can go?"  At Morgan's nod yes, Soah began bouncing around.  "Yay!"  Flinging herself into first Sam's arms and then Cecile's.  She was to bouncy to stay in one place for long.

"You can go?  Hey!  That's not fair!  You won't let me date yet!"  Talia was upset, and flung the spoon she was using, into the sink with so much force, it bounced back out.

"Talia?  It is a double date.  We have offered you the option of double dating, and you have turned us down.  That is not our fault, but your own."

"You wouldn't let me go out with Tim, you said he was to old for me!  Morgan is tons older than Tim.  How old are you anyway Morgan?"


"Twenty!!  Twenty!  He is five years older than Soah!  Five!  Tim is only two year older than me!  TWO!  And you said no!  Why can Soah date someone five years older, when I can't go out with someone that is only two years older?  This is so unfair!"

"Yes, it is unfair.  We admit we are using a double standard, but we have a reason.  And if you will calm down, we will explain our thinking."

"No!  Either I get to date who I want, or Soah can't date Morgan!"

"Stop! Stop! Stop!!!!!  I won't go!  I can't stand this!"  Shaking like a leaf, tears streaking down her face, Soah ran from the room, the sound of her footsteps pounding up the stairs, and then the slam of a door.

The anger quickly left Talia, like the air leaving a popped balloon.  A stricken look on her face, she realized what she had done.

Not waiting for permission, Morgan took off up the stairs.  Coming to the only room with a shut door, he took a chance and tried the knob, it was unlocked, taking a big breath, he walked into the room.  Soah was sitting on the floor by the bed, moose in her arms, crying so hard, she didn't even hear Morgan come in.  Sitting next to Soah he waited for her to acknowledge him.  Lifting her face from moose, she got up and moved away from him.

"I want you to leave.  Don't come for me tomorrow.  I'll have Sam drop me at the day program at the hospital instead.  Don't come back."  Soah opened the door and gestured to Morgan for him to leave.

"Soah!  This can be worked out, you know it can.  Just give it some time.  Sam and Cecile will smooth things over with Talia."

"No.  I can't mess this up.  I don't know what I did to mess things up with my first family, but it's not going to happen this time if I can help it.  If it means giving you up to make everyone happy, that is what I will do.  I need a family, I can't live like I did before.  Go."

"Please!  Let me go get Sam.  He will tell explain"

Soah cut Morgan off, "No!  Just go!  Please!  Don't come back!  I don't wanna choose, but if I have to, I have to choose a family."

Tears standing in his eyes, he wordlessly gestured to Soah, pleading with her, to let him stay.  She turned her head away from him, ignoring his pleading.  Defeated he left the room, walking down the stairs, and out the door.

Hearing the door shut, Sam ran to the door, ripping it open, expecting to see Soah leaving the house.  What he saw was a crying Morgan getting into his car.   Running back inside he flew up the stairs, to find Soah crumpled on the floor next to the bed, still holding moose, crying.

Hearing Sam come into the room, never lifting her head from moose she said, "I told Morgan to go and not come back.  Could you please drop me at the center tomorrow?  Could you please leave?  I am going to go to bed."  Soah got up and started getting her pjs from the dresser, taking her earrings out, clearly getting ready for bed.

"Soah, won't you talk to me?"

"Morgan is gone.  Morgan won't be back.  I don't need him, I need you and Cecile.  I fixed everything.  I don't want to talk tonight.  I'll talk to Dr. Layton tomorrow, I am sure about what I am doing.  Goodnight."

 Sam left Soah's room and before he got to the top of the stairs he heard the door lock.

Walking down the stairs, he was in a quandary.  How on earth could he make this right?  Walking into the kitchen he saw Talia cuddled into her mom, crying, Cecile wasn't far from tears herself.  Hearing Sam enter the kitchen both women looked up at him, hoping to see a more positive face.  Seeing his despair, Talia's tears started up again.

"I've messed everything up!  I'm sorry!"

"Sorry isn't going to fix this. Soah told Morgan to go and not come back."

Morgan drove around aimlessly for hours.  His cell phone would ring, texts would cause his phone to chirp at him, he ignored all of them.  Not caring who was calling, or what they wanted.  His heart was ripped, bleeding and shredded.  All of his plans for the future, ashes.  How could she turn her back on him?  Talia!  What a fucking bitch!  She didn't get want she wanted, and the hell with anyone else's feelings!  Coming to stop at a red light, for once in this long dark empty night, he noticed where he was.  The park.  Pulling into the parking lot, getting out, walking to the place where he had first met Soah.  Sitting on the grass under the tree in the dim light from a distant street light, scenes of the past few months flickering past his mind's eye, emotions welling up in his chest.  How could he have lost the only girl he had ever fallen in love with?  Will breathing ever not hurt again?  How to live without her?

"Oh thank God!  Dave he's here!"  Kevin sprinted up to Morgan and tackled him.  "You scared the shit out of us!  What the fuck were you thinking?  Why in the hell didn't you answer your cell phone?"  Kevin had a death grip on Morgan, as if he would disappear before his very eyes. "We thought you had done something stupid."

"Morgan!"  Dave came running up.  Pulling Kevin from his death grip hug on Morgan, he kissed his Kev.  Running his hand down his neck, smiling into his eyes.  Turning back to Morgan, Dave drew his hand back and slapped Morgan hard.  Grabbing Morgan by the shirt, he slapped Morgan over and over.  "How could you scare us like that?  You shit!  We thought you were dead!  DEAD! Fucking answer your damned phone!  Do you know how long we have been looking for you?  Hours! Driving around, looking in all of the places we thought me might find you, afraid we might find you."  Pulling Morgan to him, Dave broke down and began to cry, hugging Morgan tight. "We thought you were dead!  Oh Morgan,  don't you know how much we love you?"

Kevin wrapped his arms around Morgan.  The three sat on the grass clutched to each other, afraid to let go.  Afraid of what might have been.

Footsteps approached, a shadowy form coming closer, the boys were not paying any attention to anything past the reach of their arms.  When the person spoke he startled all three boys.

"I was hoping you would come here!"  Sam stepped over to Morgan, knelt in front of him, took his battered face carefully in his hands. "Did you get in a fight?  Do we need to call the police?  Are you hurt?"

"Mr. Jenkins, I did that. I was furious! Scaring us like that!  Kevin has known him since grade school, grade school! He should have come to us!"  Hugging Morgan hard saying, "Please forgive me."

"Dave?  Have you ever hit anyone before?"  Morgan lifted his head from Kevin's shoulder.

"No. I haven't ever lost control like that before."

"Hey, that just means you love me, huh?"  Morgan grinned crookedly at Dave thru his spilt lips.  "Thanks."

"Morgan I want you to come back to the house, and fight for Soah.  You need to show her just how much you love her."

Sitting between his two best friends, feeling stupid he didn't come to them to begin with.  Thinking over Sam's suggestion, realizing he agreed with him.  "What time tomorrow do you want me to come by?"

"Tomorrow?  I meant now!"

"Isn't it late?  She will be asleep by now."

"When I left 30 minutes ago, she was still crying.  She won't let us in, but we could hear her sniffling."

"If she won't let you in, what makes you think she will let me in?  She threw me away for you."

"I have the key.  Let's go."

"Hey, how did you know I was here?"

"I called in every favor owed to me.  Every police cruiser, every EMT vehicle being driven by a friend, was on the look out for you."

"Whoa!  Way to go Sam."  Kevin pulled his arms away from Morgan, and stood up.  Reaching his hand down to Morgan saying, "Let's go, bud.  You are going to get your life back!  I'm driving, Kevin will follow in your car.  We are not letting you out of our sight again."

"Do you think I have a chance?  Honestly?"

"If I didn't think so, I wouldn't be here."

Pulling up in front of Sam's house, Morgan asked, "Kevin?  Do I have a chance?  Will she take me back?  God!  How can I live without her?"

Kevin had never heard Morgan so uncertain about anything before in their many years of being friends.  The plaintive tone, the slump of his shoulders, spelled out defeat, a most unlike Morgan emotion.

"Ya wanna have her back, right?  Stand tall, be a man.  Don't believe her no, she wants ya back dude.  And you know that to be true.  Now get out of my car and go fight for your woman!  Make me proud!"

Smiling a stronger smile than earlier, Morgan got out of the car, a man on a mission.  Sam was waiting for him on the porch.  As Morgan neared Sam, he was handed a key.

"Until she believes you want her, and we want her to have you, keep at it."  Leaning close to Morgan quietly whispering into his ear, "You didn't hear this from me, but if it takes some physical encouragement, go for it."

"Huh? What are you talking about?  You want me to hit her?"  Clearly Morgan was shocked.

"Pfft!  No, I mean, lovin'.  Kiss her, hug her, show her you want her, need her, can't live without her, and refuse to leave without her admitting she can't live without you either."

"What about Talia?  Isn't she mad still?  Is she going to be a problem?"

"Don't you worry about Talia!  She realizes what she has done, and will do anything to make it right."

Walking into the house with Sam, nerves boiling over, mouth dry, hands wet, feet full of lead.  Sam clapped Morgan on the back, smiling encouragingly, steeling himself against failure, he started the climb to his future, either full of life, or back to dark.

Trying Soah's door knob, he found it was still locked, and he could hear that she was still crying.  Pushing the key home, turning the knob, and walking into a room lit only dimly by a streetlight, filtered thru the curtains.  Hearing the door unlock, Soah sat up in bed, surprised that someone would invade her privacy.

"Morgan!  What are you doing here?  I don't want to be with you any more!  Go!"  Soah started to scramble out of bed, aiming for the door.  Morgan shut the door with his foot, walked over to the bed, and pulled her out of it.

"You are going to listen to me.  Do you see what is in my hand?  Your key.  Who do you think gave it to me?  Huh?  Sam did.  He wants us to be together.  He knows how much we love each other.  And I could give a shit about Talia.  No wonder they don't let her date, talk about immature!  I don't care if we sit here all night long.  I'm not leaving until you admit you don't want to give me up. Until you learn that I will always be here for you.  Nothing you can do, will chase me away.  I will never leave you."

Looking up at Morgan, listening to his words, hearing his words, his words sinking into her for the first time.  Finally understanding that he loved her!  He isn't going to go!  I can't chase him away. The immense pain that had a hold on her heart, her soul, herself, was melting away under the fierce love radiating from Morgan.  Giving a tiny shudder, as the last of the ice around her heart melted away, the tears melted away, life began to become livable again.

"What happened to your face!  Who beat you up?  Did Sam make sure you are alright?"

"Yeah, I got beat up.  Wanna guess who?"

"No!  Just tell me!"

"Dave, beat me up for scaring the hell out of him and Kevin."

"What did you do to Dave and Kevin to scare them?  And Dave?  Dave hit you?  Seriously?"  Moving to sit on the bed, Morgan pulled Soah down next to him. Rubbing his hand up and down her back, feeling each rib as his fingers bumped over them, feeling her heat warming her pjs.  Leaning into his hand as it rubbed up and down, up and down.

"When I left here, Sam called them to see if I was there.  He wanted me to come back to work things out.  Everyone tried to call me, text me, I heard all of them, but ignored them all.  I was lost in grief.  I thought I had lost you for ever!  They all thought I had done something stupid, like try to kill my self.  And when Kevin and Dave did find me, Kevin knocked me down, and hugged me like there was no tomorrow.  Dave though just starting slapping the shit out of me.  He was right.  You know with out any doubt if someone as gentle as Dave starts slapping the shit out of you, whatever your mistake is, it is not just a fail, but an epic fail."

"I'm so very sorry!  I just couldn't deal with all of the shouting!  It was just to much!  Please forgive me?"

"Nothing for you to forgive.  Talia needs to grow up."  Morgan's hand had never stop moving, the more he rubbed the stronger his desire to kiss her became.  Throwing Sam's advice into the mouth of his conscience to shut it up he whispered, "Soah, would you give me a kiss?"

Her only answer was to tilt her head back to make her lips available to his.  Leaning down, brushing lips, gentle kisses began to grow more passionate, kiss by kiss.  Winding her arms around his neck she pulled him down to lay almost on top of her. Longer, harder kisses, breathing faster, hands begin to wander around.  Soah slid her hand up Morgan's shirt, wanting to feel more of him, in reality wanting his shirt off.

 Breaking the kiss whispering, "Morgan will you take your shirt off?  I'll take mine off too!"

Morgan knew he had reached the end of the line.  Oh how he wanted to go further, not stopping until he was buried deep inside Soah.  The idea of having her around him, how tight, wet, ripped a groan from him.  Like Dave's slap, a thought slammed into him, she thinks the only way she can keep me is to have sex with me!  It was all in Book!  She needs to be shown there is more to us, than sex.

"No one is taking anything off, Soah."  Morgan pulled out of Soah's arms, and pulled her up to sit beside him saying, "We are not having sex tonight, or tomorrow.  It is going to be long while yet, I want for us to explore each other, without confusing everything with sex.  I love you Soah, you are more to me, than the usual quick lay.  I didn't care about those girls, and using them for sex, pfft, not an issue.  They didn't care about me either.  I was just trophy boy to them.  Someone to show off, someone to make the other girls jealous.  I pretended that I didn't know that is how they all thought about me.  It never bothered me, I always had dates, someone to take to dances and sex, but other than that?  Nothing in here."  Tapping his chest, watching her closely for her reaction to what he was saying.

He could see her working out what he had told her, trying to get all of the pieces to fit into some form that made sense. Pieces clicking into place, picture whole, complete, clear, understanding opening for business.  Mentally fist pumping, yeah!  He had her!  She got it!  Kissing her smiling face, her laughing cheeks, her eyes glowing with happiness.  They were out of the woods, thank heavens!

"I am going home.  Tonight has suddenly caught up with me, and I am just trashed. I will be here tomorrow to pick you up for work.  Remember your promise!  I get breakfast!"

"Good night!  I'll have it ready for you! I love you, thank you for coming back for me!"

"Sweet girl?  I will always come back for you."

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