Life on a Printed Plane

Abby peppered me with tons of questions that I had no answer for.  I had told her the little that I knew, but like me wanted more information about what happened and how Derrick was.

"You said Rich called you on Derrick's cell phone, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Abby rooted around in her black hole of a bag at last pulling forth her cell phone making a joyful sound of discovery. Quickly she found Derrick's number and hit call.

"Hey Rich, it's Abby.  What can you tell us about Derrick?"

"Hey Abby.  Yeah, he got hit with a bunch of shrapnel."

"Shrapnel?"

"Yeah, it happens, not often, but it does happen.  Tom was pounding on a steel pin, and we had chilled it to shrink it enough to fit, and the last time he hit the pin it just exploded.  Pieces of the pin flew everywhere.  I was shielded by the loader bucket I was welding, but Tom is in a bad way, most of the shrapnel got him and they went deep.  Derrick was about 20 feet away, so while he got hit with a ton of the stuff, I don't think any of it went very deep.  He does have a nasty cut on one shoulder though, he was covered in blood, but I think most of it was from his shoulder."

Abby let out a huge breath and turned to me, "His wounds sound mostly superficial, but there seems to be a bad one on his shoulder.  A co-worker sounds like he is kinda in a bad way."

Hearing that Derrick was in fact going to be ok was an immense relief.  Knowing that it wasn't a life or death situation allowed me to slow down.

"Rich, thank you so much for letting us know about Derrick.  We really appreciate it."

"Any time.  Let me know how he is ok?"

"Will do.  Talk to you later.  Bye bye."

"Bye then Abby."

Abby turned to me with a funny look on her face asking, "Ben?  What is St. Mary's visitation policy?  Do you know, 'cause I don't have a clue."

"Ya know, I don't either.  How about you be his sister?"

"……….ok…. but I don't know anything about him that a sister should know."

"Hmm, let's see.  His birthday is November 9th.  He's 25 years old.  He enjoys romantic evenings in front of a fire and long walks on the beach."

"Hahahahaha! Ok funny guy.  Is that is real birthday?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Do you think they will ask anything else?"

"No, I mean think about it.  You might have proof that someone is your spouse or child, but what on earth would the average person carry around with them that could prove that someone is their sister or brother?  Just act like the worried and loving sister you are to him, and everything will be ok."

"Ben?  Are you ok to drive?  You look kinda funny."

"Funny how?  Yeah, I'm ok to drive."

"You're super pale for one thing, and your hands are shaking for another.  You're unnaturally calm right now."

"It's like everything is moving in slow motion.  Nothing seems real."

A few minutes later Abby said rather sharply, "Pull into this 24/7."

"What now!"

"Yes!  Now!"

I pulled into the parking lot of 24/7 and killed the engine.  Abby got out and walked around the car and opened up my door. She reached in and unbuckled my seatbelt saying, "Ok mister get out of the car.  I'm driving!"

"Why?"

"Because dearest, you ran a red light back there.  Come on, get out of the car honey."

Sighing, and knowing she was right I climbed out of the car and walked around to the passenger side.  Taking me quite by surprise I started to tremble, and barely got the door open, and basically collapsed into the seat.  Abby got my seat belt buckled, shut the door on me, and from some unknown place tears started to stream down my face.  What in the hell was wrong with me?  I knew that Derrick wasn't hurt that badly, so why the water works?  What a baby I am, crying like this!

"No, you're not a baby."

"Did I say that out loud?"

"No, but I knew what you had to be feeling.  Honey you have had a day from hell today.  First the fight with my mom, then running into your brother and his wife, and now this scare with Derrick.  If you didn't cry you would most likely explode."

Struggling for control over my run away emotions my voice thick with tears I said, "Yeah, this is really one for the record books, huh?  What do you think about my brother?  Should I let him back into my life?"

"What feels right to you?  It was a long time ago, maybe his opinions have changed."

"Nicki claims they have, but I don't know how far I can trust that.  I told her about my having a wife and a husband.  The way I looked at it was that we already don't have a relationship, so it's not like telling them about us would hurt anything."

"What did they say?"

"I don't know before Alex or Nicki could say anything one way or the other Rich called."

"Have they been looking for you?"

"No, supposedly guilt got in the way of him looking for me.  I mean how hard is it to type someone's name into a search engine and see what pops up?"

"I'm hearing some hurt feelings."

"Yeah, I am still both mad and hurt that he didn't try to help me at all!  He is my older brother after all, but no he was to busy spouting the party line our church spewed."

"Ben?"

"Yeah?"

"I think you should give them a second chance.  How did he seem when he saw you?"

"Well, he did hug me.  Pulled me right out of the booth, and then he apologized to me.  Even called himself a stupid ignorant asshole."

"Well that sounds to me like he means it, don't you think so too?"

"…………yeah I guess it does.  Maybe if I hadn't had that wrangle with your mom before I would have been more open about seeing him again."

"Did you get his number?"

"No."

"Give him ours?"

"No.  But this is what I was thinking.  If he truly wants to get in contact with me, he can at least look us up in the phone book.  At least this will tell us if he is serious or not, yeah?"

"Yeah it will."

"Feel better?"

"Immensely!"

"Good!  We're here, ready?"

Abby pulled into a parking space, turned off the engine and undid her seat belt, she had her hand on the door handle when I said,  "Come here you.  Did I ever tell you how much you mean to me?"

"Hmm, maybe once a long long time ago.  You could tell me again though, I won't mind to much."

"Abigail Sara Hanson Parker, you mean the world to me.  My life would be an empty waste land without you!"  I punctuated my feelings with a soft and heart felt kiss.

Our hands linked we walked into the hospital's emergency waiting room and stood in a line to ask at the front desk about Derrick.  After a quick conversation we found out that Derrick was in the back and we could go back and wait with him.  We followed the nurse thru the rabbits warren of hallways and turnings, before she finally arrived at one of an seemingly endless identical rooms.  She quietly slid the door open peeking in, and then saying, "He's awake but is going to be groggy due to the pain meds."

Abby and I stepped into the room, and the nurse slid the door shut behind us.  The room was dimly lit, and Derrick lay on the bed covered up to his waist by a sheet that was spotted with fresh blood.  He had sluggishly turned his head towards us as we entered the room, but I'm not sure he if recognized us or not.  He had many small cuts over a large portion of his chest and his left arm and leg and hand, and a large ragged wound on his shoulder.  Afraid to touch any part of his left side we moved to his right side and stood looking down at him.  Even in the dim lighting we could tell he was pale.  As we stood there Derrick opened his eyes, and blearily looked around, with a confused expression on his face Derrick struggled to gather his thoughts, and finally he mumbled out, "Hey…..guess what……I got hurt at work……it kinda hurts……………but……they fixed that…….love……..you"  And his eyes drifted shut again.

The door slid open and a doctor stood in the doorway reading from a clip board, "Derrick Addison?"

Abby and I looked at each other, and I cleared my throat and said, "Yes."

"Ok good.  I'm new here, and I keep getting lost."  He slid the door shut and stepped over to the bed and checked the band on Derrick's right wrist, nodding his head that his paperwork and patient matched up.  "I'm Dr. Chan, and you are his….?"

"I'm Ben Parker, and this is my wife Abby."

"Ok, and you are who to Derrick."

"I'm his sister."

"What we would usually do for small wounds is to glue them together, however these types of wounds caused by metal often get infected, and with stitches it's easier to open the wound back up to clean it out.  So, we will be stitching quite a lot of these, this one on his shoulder will take much more work, this one is deep and will require stitches inside the cut as well as on the surface.  I would rather you wait in the waiting room while we are working on him.  This will take a while, so don't be worried about how long you're waiting out there.  Do you have any questions before I get started?"

"How can you tell if all of the metal is out of him before you stitch him?"

"We have a strong magnet that we use.  And if we have any question of if there is metal left we xray the area.  I think we are going to run a few of those just to be sure we got it all with this amount of cuts."

"Ok, thank you Dr. Chan."

The door slid open and a nurse pushed in a cart containing many plastic wrapped bundles, after allowing her to pass into the room, we stepped out into the corridor wondering how we were going to find our way back to the waiting room.  An orderly was standing there apparently waiting to show us the way back to the waiting room.  We found two seats and sank into them to wait for who knows how long.  Not long after we sat down, Abby got to her feet, picked up her purse and walked away!  Wondering where she was going, and why she didn't say anything really started to worry me.  Was she mad at my behavior after hearing about Derrick's accident?  Upset that I went to talk to her mother alone?  Feeling like I had once again messed up something else in a very long line of the crap that had happened today, my chest tightened up and my head felt like it was going to explode.  Not wanting anyone else to see if I lost the battle with my over worked emotions, I dropped my head into my hands and sat looking down at the floor hoping I could keep from crying.

A hand appeared in my vision and Abby's voice said, "Here drink this I think you need the sugar and the caffeine."  Abby had gone and gotten me a soda and herself a sandwich and a juice.  "Sorry about that….I didn't realize that I just got up and left without saying anything to you until I was in line to pay.  Guess I'm not thinking to clearly either.  My stomach was starting to hurt, not much breakfast and no lunch and here it is almost 2.  Forgive me?"

"Always.  But there is nothing to forgive you for.  Thanks for the soda."

Abby smiled around her sandwich, and continued to chew.  I sat and sipped the soda while she finished her lunch, turns out she had a container of fruit salad in her purse also and fed me bits of it.  I noticed that she fed me the stuff she doesn't like.  My little wife hates grapes with a passion, and will only occasionally eat pineapple.  So, I got the part of the salad I like and she ate the part she liked, the apples and blueberries, and strawberries.  How three of us are going to split a fruit salad is beyond me, unless Derrick has fruit he doesn't like as well.  I hope he hates grapes!  We sat in the waiting room for what seemed like years, but in real time was only two hours, when a different orderly came to show us back to Derrick's bedside.

We were greeted by Dr. Chan saying, "I removed all of the pieces of metal.  We x-rayed his fingers and the large wound in his shoulder.  I think we got all of them."

"Will he be able to come home tonight?"

"Yes, as long as he won't be alone, he can go home tonight."

"Derrick lives with us, he won't be alone."

"Then yes he can come home tonight.  But I have a few questions I need to ask you.  He claimed that he never has had antibiotics?  Is that true?"

So close and yet so far!  We almost made it out of here with our ruse intact.  I was opening my mouth to answer, when Derrick opened his eyes and blearily looked around him, as his gaze passed me, it swung back and a goofy smile appeared on his face and he said, "Hi honey, kiss?"

Ask me if I cared if the doctor was in the room or not, our fable was proven false by Derrick's own words.  Who was I to deny him?  I leaned down and careful not to touch him and possibly hurt him I softly kissed him.

"You could have told me you two were partners, it wouldn't have mattered."

"We didn't know the policy here and wanted to make sure that we could see him.  And we are", before I could finish what I was saying Abby nudged me rather sharply as I glanced at her, a micro no shake of her head. Knowing I had to finish the sentence I started in some fashion, Derrick played the final card saying, "Not partners…….triplet….right Abby?"

"Yes baby, you're right, we're a triplet."  And she leaned in and kissed him, and as always Derrick had the cutest face whenever Abby kissed him.

Throwing caution to the winds I looked up to see a most interesting expression on the doctor's face.  Wow!  I had managed to garner not just one nonplussed expression today, but two!  Must be some sort of record.  After carefully going over all the precautions with us, and writing Derrick out a script for both antibiotics and pain meds, it was time to take Derrick home.  The doctor didn't want him to put on his dirty work clothing, so he went home in a set of scrubs.  Abby pulled the car up the the door and I helped steady Derrick after he got out of the wheelchair and into the front seat.  After a quick stop at the pharmacy to drop off his prescriptions we headed for home.  Home!  Ahh the ideal of home being a safe zone had rarely seemed as sweet as it did today.

It took a bit to lever him out of the front seat and into the house.  Abby ran ahead and got the bed ready for Derrick.  He had to keep his arm on a pillow for at least tonight to hopefully keep the swelling down to a minimum.  Trying to steady him, while not touching his many cuts was a real challenge, but somehow we made it down the hall and into the bedroom.  I was just about to lead him over to the bed when Derrick said, "Hey, I need to go to the bathroom first."

So, into the bathroom we went, and with one hand all bandaged up, I undid his scrubs for him, made sure he was steady enough on the toilet and went to grab him a pair of boxers.  When I came back into the bathroom Derrick was slightly swaying making me glad that I didn't allow him to stand to pee.  Getting the scrubs off was easy, I simply took a pair of scissors to the top and cut it off of him.  Job done!  I helped him pull his boxers up, and gingerly led him to bed, we got him settled in, and I think that his eyes closed as we pulled the covers up.  He was instantly asleep, and Abby and I stood there a few minutes just watching him sleep.  We had both seen the burn scars that peppered his arms and hands, and a rather ugly one on his upper back where a piece of molten slag fell down the back of his jacket and was held against his skin until he had managed to strip down enough to expose it so that someone could pull it off of him, so we knew his job was dangerous, but this accident really brought it home to us.

Abby still didn't trust me to drive so she ran out to collect Derrick's medicines, and I called Rich to give him an update.  I was sitting on the sofa thinking about taking a few aspirins for my headache when there was a knock on the front door.  Well shit!  Who in the hell could this be?  Sighing as I stood up, grumbling my way to the front door, all I needed was some peace and quiet after this day from hell.  I'm sure my face wasn't all that welcoming when I opened the front door, and was shocked to the core.  It was Alex!

"Alex!  What are you doing here?"

"Hey, Ben.  I understood that you were testing me earlier to see how serious I was about having you in my life again.  Did I pass?"

I held the door open wider for Alex to step in saying, "Yeah, it was a test, and you passed.  Come on in and sit down."  I led the way into the living room and collapsed on the sofa.  I watched Alex look around before slowly sitting down in a chair.

"Nice place you have here.  When did you move in?"

"Just over two years ago."

"Nice."

"Look, I know you don't trust me, and I don't blame you.  Will you give me a chance at least to show you how sorry I am?  Believe it or not, I've grown up a great deal since then."

"I let you in, didn't I?  If you can accept me as I am, then you have a chance."  I leaned forward rubbing my hands over my face, wondering if this day will ever end?  Sighing I pulled my hands from my face and looked at Alex to really look at him.  I never realized how much we looked alike.  There was no denying the fact that we were brothers.  "I'm sorry you have caught me in one of those days from hell, and it's just drained me.  And yeah, I would like to get to know you again too."

A sunny smile rose on his face and he said, "That is the best news I have heard in a really long time!  Thank you for giving me a second chance.  I won't let you down this time."

A wave of exhaustion poured over me, and I dropped my head on the back of the sofa just wishing I could go to bed and sleep the rest of this day away.  My head started to throb again, no wondering about taking aspirins this time, they were now a requirement to getting thru the rest of the day.  "Would you like something to drink?"

"Yeah, if you don't mind."

"What will ya have?"

"Whatever, I'm easy."

I got up and shuffled into the kitchen and held the door to the fridge open for a bit standing there looking in, "Ok, we have soda and apple juice."  Shaking the milk carton, hmm it was only half full, Derrick sure goes thru the milk.  The memory of him pouring a large glass of milk and leaning back against the counter while drinking it down made me smile.  I reached in and pulled out the apple juice.  "This ok with you?"

"It's fine, thanks."

I poured two glasses of juice handed him his, and set mine on the end table on the way to the bathroom to fetch the bottle of aspirins.  Coming back into the living room, Alex was up looking at the many framed pictures Abby had scattered around the room.  He was holding our wedding picture in one hand and in the other hand, one of me on my college graduation day.  Alex finally noticed that I had returned and he carefully set the pictures down and turned to face me.  I was shocked to see tears in his eyes.

"Oh Ben!  I'm so very sorry that I wasn't there for you're wedding day, your graduation day, or moving into your first home.  If I can help it, I'll never miss an important day for you again."

Derrick's voice floated from our bedroom, "Ben?"

Saying to Alex, "I'll be right back."  I headed off to see what Derrick needed.

"Hey honey, you ok?"

"Yeah, but I'm so thirsty.  Could you get me a drink please?"

"Sure thing.  What do you want?"

"Juice?"

"Coming right up."

I paused in the living room long enough to swallow several aspirins.  I poured Derrick a large glass of juice and was headed to the bedroom when Alex said, "May I meet your….husband, please?"

"Umm, he's in bed.  Maybe another time."

"Oh, ok."  The look on Alex's face showed how hurt he was.  I felt bad about hurting his feelings, but Derrick did come first.

Derrick needed some help sitting up to drink, and after a few healthy swigs of his juice he asked, "Whose in the living room with you?"

"My brother Alex."

"….oh?  May I meet him?"

"Yes, of course you can."

Derrick carefully laid back down with a sigh saying, "Go get him babe, ok?"

"Now?"

"Yeah."

"….ok."

Walking the short distance to the living room, my stomach started doing that damned tap dance.  As I came into the living room Alex was sitting with his head back on the chair looking rather……defeated I guess the best word would be.

"Alex? Derrick wants to meet you."

His head shot up off the chair back and the look of……defeat was quickly replaced by cautiousness.  "Are you sure?  You didn't seem like you wanted me to meet him at all."

"No, no.  He was injured at work today, and I didn't think he would be up for it, that's all."

"Ah, ok then."  Alex stood up and followed me to our bedroom asking, "Where is your wife?"

"She's gone to get Derrick's prescriptions.  She should be home any minute."

"Is that why you left the cafe so quickly today?  What happened to him?"

"He's a welder and got hit with pieces of exploding steel."

"Is he ok?"

"Yeah.  It just looks bad, but most of them are minor."

Derrick was still awake, but only just barely.  Taking a big breath in saying, "Derrick Addison, this is my brother Alex."

"Hi, nice to meet you."  Derrick held his hand out for Alex to shake, but Alex just stood there with a funny look on his face.  My blood started to boil, there was no way he was going to treat either Derrick or Abby like he had treated me!  I was just getting ready to rip Alex apart limb from limb, both verbally and physically.

"Hi."  Alex shook Derrick's hand and continued, "I'm sorry about that, but I was expecting someone older for some reason."

Derrick softly chuckled and answered, "Well, your brother seems to like his partners younger.  He is the old man of this house."  Derrick let go of Alex's hand, and rested his hand on my leg, "You know I'm just teasing you, yeah?" he asked as he looked up at me.

"Yeah of course I do.  Besides if you get too cheeky, I could always just spank you!"

"Oh!  Sexy threats!"

And then it dawned on me, here I was flirting with Derrick in front of my brother, and from the look on Derrick's face the same idea had crossed his mind at the same time.  Clearing my throat I said, "Hey, sorry about that."

"No, it's ok.  If I'm going to be part of your life, I want you to be yourself.  No self editing, no cleaning things up for company.  Just be yourself.  I lost you once, because I didn't accept you, it won't happen again.  I won't pretend to understand being in love with two people at the same time, and I might say some stupid shit from time to time because I just don't know any better."

"Ok, sure.  So…. what you're telling me is that you're as stupid as ever?"

"Hey!  You little shit!"  And just like that, the tension in the room melted away and we were all laughing.  As we were all laughing, Abby walked into the bedroom.

"Honey, this is my brother Alex."

"Nice to meet you Honey."

"Oh, I sure see where you got your humor from now!  I'm Abby, nice to meet you."

"So, I can't call you Honey?"

"You can call me whatever you want, doesn't mean that I'll answer to it!"  Abby sat down on the bed next to Derrick and rubbed her hand on his thigh asking, "How are you doing?"

"Pretty good, tired out, but ok."

"Are you hungry?  Now that was a silly question, of course you're hungry.  What do you want for supper?"

"Hey!  Don't I get a say in this whole dinner thing?"  I pretended to be all kinds of offended, which caused the room to dissolve into laughter.

"No, she loves me buddy.  You are now a non-voting member of this union!"

Sighing theatrically saying, "Well shit!  I got voted off this island awfully fast!"  Abby started giggling and soon we were all laughing again.

After Abby finally got herself under control she asked, "Alex, would you like to stay for supper?"

"Are you sure?"

"No worries.  Why don't you call Nicki.  I'd love to meet her as well."

"……but won't we be in the way tonight?"

"Nope.  Call Nicki please."

"Ok."

While Alex was talking to Nicki, Abby and Derrick and I discussed what to have for supper.  Alex broke the connection with Nicki saying, "She'll be right over.  Did we decide what we are having?"

"Steak sound good to you?"

"It sure does."

"Steak supper coming up!  Ben do you feel like driving yet?"

"Yeah, I feel much better.  Let me change my clothes and then we can go."

Abby gave Derrick a light kiss, adjusted the covers over him saying, "Ok Mister, nap time for you.  When everything is done, we'll come get you."

"No arguments from me.  I'm wiped out."

I leaned in and gave him a kiss saying, "Have a nice nap."

On her way out of the room, Abby pulled the door shut and I headed for the bathroom.  I just felt grimy and desperately needed a quick shower.  Stepping out of a very refreshing shower, I wrapped a towel around my waist and opened the door to the bedroom.  Derrick was fast asleep and that bed looked so damned inviting.  Maybe I'll lay down for just a moment or two?  No, if I do that, I'll sleep now and then be up all night.  I resisted the lure of the bed, and got dressed, and quietly left Derrick to his much needed sleep.

Abby had a list ready for me, and Alex and I set off to the grocery store.  At first it was pretty quiet in the car, and I was wondering how to break the silence with something that sounded natural and unforced when Alex spoke up asking, "Where did you go after mom and dad threw you out of the house?"

Sighing and answering, "I got a job at a resort as a lawn boy, they had housing for their employees and I worked there each summer until the year before I graduated from college."

"Oh, I guess that worked out ok then."

"Yeah, more or less."

"Tell me where you met Abby."

"Gladly. I'm sitting on a bench in front of the library at college, enjoying the beautiful fall weather, when I saw this gorgeous girl walking towards me, she was with a few other girls and they were all laughing.  She caught my eye and held it, I couldn't look away, I was literally mesmerize by her.  And totally out of character for me, I went over and introduced myself to her.  And she twinkled up at me, and asked me if Ben was short for Benjamin, and when I told her it was only for special friends to use, she said, "Well Benjamin were you only planning on staring at me, or are you going to ask me out?"  She stole my heart at that moment, and thankfully hasn't given it back to me."

"Wow!  Now that's a love story.  How did you convince her to allow you to have a boyfriend?"

"I didn't talk her into it.  She talked me into getting one."  The rest of the ride we talked about how I meet Derrick and the growing pangs the three of us suffered and how we had just begun to adjust to our new living arrangement.  From that moment on our talk flowed easily and naturally.  We chatted in the store filling Abby's list and all the way home.  I got the grill ready and made the marinade while Alex sat in the kitchen getting to know Abby better, while Nicki sat out on the patio with me and it gave us a chance to reconnect.

Before I could believe it my miracle worker of a wife had dinner almost finished, when she asked me, "Honey, you should go in and wake up Derrick.  Do you think he wants a tray in bed, or do you think he wants to join us at the table?"

"Eat in bed?  I don't think so!  Pfft!  Silly wife, men don't eat in bed unless they are almost dead!"

"Whatever, just go get him up, ok?"

I got Derrick up and helped him pull up a pair of baggy sweat pants and a sleeveless tee shirt.  He was steadier, most of the pain medicine had worn off by then, and I didn't need to steady him, so he motored into the kitchen under his own steam.  And as he entered the kitchen he took a big whiff of the delicious smell of dinner and walked up to Abby and gave her a big kiss on her cheek, "You are the best cook I have ever met.  Thanks for taking such good care of me."

After Nicki and Derrick were introduced we sat down and started passing the food around when the doorbell rang.  Now who in the hell could that be?

I woke up with Ben cuddled up against me, kissing me lightly.  Umm, what a wonderful way to wake up!  But, all to soon it was time to get up and leave the warm bed, and my so sweet hubby. I was washing my hair when our conversation from last night came roaring back into my mind.  And the thought of having to tell my mom about our new living arrangement, made me sick to my stomach.  Would she ever speak to me again?  Will she hate Ben now?  This was so not going to be a good day…..

Ben kept giving me funny looks while he was shaving, and I was blow drying my hair.  While we were getting dressed he asked me, "Baby?  Are you ok?  You're awful pale this morning."

"I'm worried about what's going to happen tonight.  How are you so calm?"

"I think I'm frozen with fear if you want the truth.  Every time I would get close to dropping off to sleep last night, the fear of what I have to do tonight would jerk me back awake."

"Do you think it's going to go ok?  Will mom still love me after we tell her?"  I was standing next to the bed getting dressed.  Every thing I pulled out of the closet felt wrong and looked even worse.  Sigh, I might as well just wear anything, because nothing is going to be ok today.

Grabbing me around the waist Ben pulled me onto his lap saying, "You are still the same girl she has known her entire life.  It's me that has to tell her I''m not the guy she thought I was.  I think it will be a huge shock for her.  But she will still love you, on that I can promise."

"But…..I… I let you do this.  That's how she will see it any way."

"Look at me sweetie, ok?"  I tilted her head up so that she was looking at me and not the floor.  Tears were filling her eyes and as I watched they spilled over, I did this to her!  I'm causing her heart to break again!  What an monumental ass I am.  Hopefully I'll get this right whispering to her, "I won't let you take one little breath of blame for this ok?  She can be as mad at me as she wishes, but you?  I won't allow that, understand?"

Abby nodded at me, her lip was trembling and she wrapped her arms around me and held me so tightly, crying now in ernest.  I held her against me, rubbing her back.  Fuck!  Why didn't I just deal with it?  Why did I do this to Abby?  If it's the last thing I'll do, some how I will make this right.  I don't know how, but I will.  And at that an idea sprang into my mind, a plan of attack that might work.

Sniffling and rubbing her eyes she staggered up from my lap to go and blow her nose and wash her face.  Breakfast was a very subdued meal.  I toasted some waffles, and nuked some bacon.  Abby nibbled on things, but really didn't eat much.  She took her waffles in a bag with her.  How that girl can eat waffles without syrup is beyond me!  Strange little thing she can be at times.  As soon as I was in the car, I called the office telling them I needed a personal day, my boss wasn't to happy, but, he'll get over it.  Obligations met, I headed to Irene's.  Big breath in!

I felt kinda weird standing on the porch at 8 in the morning, in my work clothes at that, but this is something that has to be done.  Waiting on the porch for Irene to open the door to Abby's childhood home my stomach knotted up an acid flavor invaded my mouth.  Oh, gods don't let me vomit!  I heard steps in the hall, and then the door swung open, and there was Abby's mom.

"Ben!  What are you doing here?  Is Abby ok?"  Worry clouded her face, her eyes searched mine looking for the answer she was dreading.

"Abby's fine.  She's at work.  I need to talk to you.  May I please come in?"

"Sorry!  Where's my manners today?  Come in Ben."

Irene led me back to the sunroom, a pleasant room that Bob had added onto the house only a year or so before he died. Tile floors, white wicker furniture, and pots of flowers everywhere.

"Coffee?"  Irene offered.

My stomach was barely holding on as it was, the thought of swallowing anything was distasteful to say the least.  Shaking my head no.  Irene really looked at me for the first time, after the fear passed concerning Abby, her usual laser beam gaze returned.  I felt like her eyes were ferreting out all my secrets, there was no reason to even open my mouth she would know all just by looking at me.

Still with her gaze leveled on me she said, "Ok, what have you done?  That has to be the guiltiest look I've ever seen."

With my eyes glued firmly to my shoes, I drew a shaky and ragged breath and slowly started talking, "Did Abby ever tell you I'm bisexual?"  I waited for a response, and when none came, I sneaked a peek up at Irene, who was sitting stock still, almost frozen, with a sinking heart I continued, "See here's the thing, I umm wanted a divorce.  I didn't want to hurt Abby, so I was going to let her go find someone better.  A guy who would appreciate her, and treat her as she deserves.  I let her talk me into staying, and now I'm afraid that my cowardice is going to hurt her.  That you will think less of her, and that's something I just can't do.  She has to be the sweetest, kindest person I have ever had the privilege of knowing.  If you get mad, please only at me, and not Abby."

Irene cleared her throat, and in a rather icy voice said, "Continue your story boy."

At those words, I almost lost my hold over my stomach and fought for a moment before regaining some kind of composure.  In a much quieter voice I hurriedly started talking, "I've met someone, and we have fallen in love.  I still love Abby with all my heart and soul, but………"  How on earth can I sit here and tell my wife's mother that I need both sexes in my life?  My own parents won't have anything to do with me after they caught me in bed with my boyfriend when I was 18.  I see no way of making this right, but I was damned if I was going to make Abby the bad guy in this.  I have to make her see that Abby is the innocent victim in all of this.

Steeling my resolve I continued, "Look it's like this"  and at that I raised my head, and looked Irene right in the eye, "I love Abby, and the angel that she is wants me to be happy.  I now have a boyfriend, and he has moved into the house with us.  We consider ourselves a triplet now, not a couple.  And just to cut your question off before you can ask it, no Abby doesn't have sex with Derrick.  Sexually we are two couples, Abby and myself, and Derrick and myself.  Abby loves Derrick, only in a brotherly sort of way.  Derrick thinks the world of Abby, and has fallen in love with her as the sister he always wanted and never had."

"So, what you are telling me is that you are living with your boyfriend in my daughters house?  She has to lay there at night alone while you two are down the hallway doing things I don't even want to think about.  The very thought of it makes my stomach curdle."

"First of all, we all sleep together.  And yes, I do have sex in the house with Derrick, but we try to be desecrate, and usually only when Abby is gone, or asleep."

"Why are you stringing her along?  If you don't want her, leave!"

"Don't want her?  Of course I still want her.  Abby is……my heart, my soul!  If it's any business of yours Abby and I still enjoy having sex."

"If my daughter is your heart and soul, as you claim, then why do you need a 'boyfriend'?"  The venom in her tone when she said the word boyfriend was crystal clear.

"Do you even understand what the term bisexual means?"

"Yes, it means your afraid of admitting your a homosexual."

Sighing loudly and shaking my head no I said, "No, no it doesn't.  I'll admit some men hide behind the label of bisexual when they are gay.  Not me.  I love women and men equally, and to be happiest, I need both in my life.  The love I feel for your daughter allowed me to push those feelings aside for several years, but they never went completely away."

"I still say you are nothing more than a homosexual."

"So, what if I were a homosexual?  I would be a homosexual that loves your daughter more than I can put into words."

"I want you and your dirty little boyfriend out of my daughter's house today!"

"It happens to be my house too, you don't have any control over how we live our lives.  If Abby is happy with this arrangement, then you are just going to have to get used to it."  It was all I could do not to lash out and scream at her.  "Oh, and for your information, Derrick is not a dirty little anything!"

"We will see about that, won't we?"  Picking up the cordless phone Irene started punching the keys.  Oh my gods, she was going to bother Abby at work!  No!  I jumped up and jerked the phone from her hand, pushing the end button as I did.

"There is no way I'm going to let you upset Abby at work!  You leave her alone."  The menace in my voice must have been clear as Irene looked rather shocked.  "If you want to talk to her about this, you will do so when she's not at work."  I swung my arm to punctuate my words, and Irene flinched away from me.

"Go ahead and hit me!  You want to, I can see it in your eyes!"   Fuck! This was spinning out of control.  Hit Irene?  I've haven't hit anyone since 8th grade!  The idea of hitting a woman was totally repugnant to me.  I took a few steps away from Irene, and turned my back to her, trying to calm down, needing Irene to calm the hellz down too.  Taking a big breath in, trying to get my roiling emotions under some sort of control.  I turned around to see how Irene was doing, when she slapped me hard across the face.  And before I could actually even process that she had hit me, she did it again, and again. Finally coming to my senses as she pulled her hand back to strike me again, I caught her wrist and stopped her.

"You will not hit me again Irene, do you understand?  Abby went into this of her own free will.  I tried to leave her, but she didn't want that.  She said she would rather share me, than to not have me at all."

"How dare you!  You stand there telling me that Abby, my daughter would choose this sordid lifestyle?  I wasn't born yesterday, I know my daughter well enough to know she wouldn't live in this degraded manner if you hadn't of forced her into it.  You have some sort of hold on her, and you better believe that I will do everything in my power to break her loose from you."

"The only hold I have on Abby, is that I love her."

Irene looked at me with a sneer on her face, that twisted her pretty features into ugliness, "If you loved my daughter, there is no way you could treat her this way, and you know it to be the truth.  I want you to leave my house now.  And I don't ever want to see you in this house again.  Do you understand?"

"Yeah, I do understand, you are going to loose this battle.  If you keep this up, Abby will pull away from you.  Can you live with that?"

"If she does, it will be your fault.  Now get out of my house!"

Driving away from the house a stone laid heavy in my stomach, my actions are causing Abby to choose between her mother and me.  I had hoped that by going to see her alone, I could talk some sense into her, but had that proved to be a false hope.  Do I go to work, or just go home?  Home, home, home, I just want to go home.  Fuck!  I should call Abby!  Punching in her number, one ring, two rings, three….. voice mail.  Ohh shit!  She is either on the phone to her mom now, or busy at work and she has her phone off….. I'm going to her office and see if I can salvage anything after this morning left ashes and a burnt bridge of what had been a good relationship between Irene and myself.  I found a parking spot fairly close to Abby's office and had just finished feeding the meter, stepping up on the curb, when a woman's back caught my eye.  Something about her seemed familiar…..  As she slowed to stop and dig around in her purse she slightly turned giving me a clear view of her face, my world whirled around me, leaving me disoriented.  It was my brother's wife!  I hadn't seen her for how many years had it been now?  Seven?  No, oh gods it was almost nine years now…..  When had Alex and Nicki  moved here?  What a fucked up kind of day this was turning out to be.  What the hell, I don't think things could be made any worse than they already are, I'm going to say hi.

"Nicki?  It's Ben, Ben Parker."  The woman in front of me stopped digging in her purse at the sound of my voice and at first a look of confusion and then recognition bloomed across her face, followed by a giant smile.

"Ben?  Oh, my gods, it is you!  How have you been?"  She surprised me by grabbing me up into a huge hug, and planting a kiss on my cheek.  She pushed away from me slightly, and then pulled me to her again, for an even larger hug, and this time hung on like I was going to vanish if she let go.  "What are you doing here?  Do you live here too?"

"Yeah, I moved here when I went to college, and just never moved away from Centralis.  How long have you and Alex lived here?"

"You went to college?  Really?  I didn't know.  We moved here last year.  Can we go somewhere and catch up?"

"I would love to, only I need to stop and talk to my wife for a few minutes first.  There is a cafe on the corner, I'll meet you there in a few, ok?"

"Married?  You're married?  To a woman?  But I thought you were gay!"  Sigh what a day I'm having…..

"Yes, I'm married to a woman, and no, I'm not gay, I'm bi.  Look, I'm kinda in a hurry, do you want to meet at the cafe or not?"

"Sure, sure I'll go wait at the cafe.  Oh, it's so nice to see you again!"  Having said that she patted my shoulder before heading off towards the cafe.  As I sprinted to Abby's office building.  Waiting for the elevator, then the slow crawl up the building as we stopped at each and every damned floor, by the time I arrived at Abby's floor I was about to explode.  Praying that Abby was alone in her office as I maneuvered thru the cubicle farm in the middle of the large open area, seeing her door open, I gave one last spurt of hope she was in and not busy, I stuck my head around the doorway.  Sigh, and she was there, focused on the monitor, fingers furiously typing away.

"Abby?"  At the sound of my voice Abby's head shot up with a look of happiness at seeing me.

"Ben! What are you doing here?  It's ages till lunch."  She must have seen something in my face, because her face sobered quickly, "What's wrong?"

I stepped fully into her office and shut the door.  Falling into the chair in front of her desk, I cleared my to dry throat and said, "I went to talk to your mom this morning, and let's just say it didn't go well at all."

At first Abby looked sad, and then she made a funny sound, and got up and came around the desk.  She tilted my face upwards, and lightly ran her finger tips over the side of my face.  It must have hurt more than I realized because she hit one spot that caused me to flinch.  The look in her eyes went from sadness to one of anger.

"Did my mother slap you?"

"Um, yeah a few times actually before I stopped her."

"What in the hell was she thinking?  Wow, she must have been really mad to have hit you.  It didn't go well at all did it?"

"No, that would be an understatement.  She wants me and my dirty little boyfriend to move out of your house tonight."

"Wait, she called Derrick a dirty little boyfriend?  She called my Derrick dirty?  How dare she? That's it!  Mother and I are going to have a little talk tonight.  She will not be pleased at all how this is going to go.  Hitting my husband, saying horrible things about Derrick, calling it my house…..ohhh she is going to get it from me!  How I want to live my life is my decision.  I'm not her little girl any longer, she can't tell me what to do."

"On a different note, you'll never know who I bumped into on the sidewalk by your office?"

"Who?"

"Nicki, Alex's wife."

"Who is Alex?"

"My brother."

"Oh!  You're kidding me!  Whoa!  Don't just sit there give me all the info."

"I really don't know much except that they have lived here around a year.  She seemed very happy to see me."

"What are you going to do about………them?"

"…um I told her to meet me at the cafe.  I'm not allowing for anything more until I see how the wind blows."

"You go and see what's up with them, call me and let me know, ok?"

"Abby?  Are you mad at me for going and talking to your mom alone?"

"At you?  Not one bit.  At her?  Hellz yeah, she has a lot of explaining to do.  And you can better believe that I'll not be taking her calls today.  Now you get going and talk to NIcki, and you be sure to call me asap as soon as you find out anything, yeah?"

"Yeah, will do boss!  Did I tell you how much I love you?"

"Oh a time or two, but not in the last few hours.  So, time for you to catch up buddy!"

I stood up and wrapped my arms around her, and kissed her lightly and then whispered to her, "I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you."

"Shut up and kiss me.  Did any one ever tell you that you talk to much?"  But, of course I couldn't answer her, as I was to busy doing as I was told.  Just about the time things were taking an interesting turn Abby's office door swung open. Abby and I broke our kiss and turned to look at the smirking face of one of her co-workers.  "I think you had better go.  Remember where we left off, ok?"

"I'll be ready whenever you are."  Abby giggled at the look on the woman in the doorway, and lightly pushed me away from her.  "See ya later honey."  I quickly kissed her cheek and winked at her co-worker as I passed by her and out the door.

Whew!  Abby wasn't mad at me, and was angry at her mom. I wonder if Irene would ever change her mind about our "sordid" lifestyle?  I knew it would be a hard sell, but I honestly thought it would go better than that!  She seemingly liked her lesbian neighbors……. but then again, it wasn't HER daughter living that way either.  Well, maybe her attitude will change after Abby has her chance to battle her prejudices.  And now on to see if attitudes had changed in the Parker world.  I stood and looked around for a while before I found Nicki, she was sitting at the back of the restaurant, in a corner booth.  Heading her way, I heaved a breath hoping against hope that the views of my family had softened.  But then what?  Would I want them back into my life?  I mean, they did throw me away?  Didn't even come to my high school graduation.  Came home from the ceremony to a note on my bed telling me to move out by the end of the week as i wasn't welcome in their house any longer.  They weren't even there to see me be awarded a full ride scholarship……what a shitty kind of day this was turning out to be.  I hadn't thought of that in years.

"Hi.  I was wondering if you were going to blow me off."

I slid into the booth opposite of Nicki and gave her a shrug, "Sorry, I needed to talk to Abby about something important."  This was her game, and I am going to make her do most of the work.  I know that's not very fair, but ask me if I care.  They could have found me if they had looked, if they really wanted to, and since our meeting was accidental, they hadn't been looking that much was clear.

"I want to say this right off, to clear the air, ok?  What your parents did to you was terrible, they didn't even attend your graduation! Alex hated how they treated you, but he hates himself even more.  The fact that he didn't fight them, didn't try to help you at all, burns him with guilt.  And then his guilt got the better of him, and that prevented him from looking for you.  You are in his thoughts more than you would ever believe."

"Ok. I'll take your word for it.  Before we go any further, does my brother hate me for being gay?"

"But, I thought you said you were bi?"

"I am, I did.  But he said some harsh things to me, and I want to know if his view has changed regarding gays."

"Yes, yes he came to his senses a few years ago.  Why?"

This time I'm not going to crawl there is nothing for me to loose.  I haven't had a Parker in my life for almost nine years now, and if after this meeting I don't have any in my life, nothing has changed.  Status quo is maintained.

"I married Abby almost five years ago, and recently fell in love with a man, who is now living with us.  I consider myself to have both a wife and a husband."

The look on her face was certainly interesting.  I don't think I've ever seen a look that qualified to be called "nonplused" but this one sure did.  I just sat and let her work it out on her own.  The waitress came up and I ordered a bowl of chicken noodle soup and a glass of apple juice, while Nicki was working thru what I had told her.  Finally after sitting there more or less alone as she gave this a lot of thought, she shook her head and gave me a strange look.

"Ok. So let me get this straight.  You are bi, you live with your wife and with a man that you think of as your husband?"

"Yup.  You got it in one."

"And your wife is ok with all of this?"

"Of course."

"You're awful closed mouth, why?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe it could be the fact that my brother called me some really horrible names.  It could be that he never attempted to find me.  It could be the fact that I don't feel the need to explain my life and how I live it to someone that for all intents and purpose is a stranger to me."

"You're right, I'm sorry.  How upset would you be if I told you that Alex is on his way?"

"Upset?  Pfft!  If he wants to be seen in public with a what did he call me again….oh I remember now, a perversion who was going to burn in hell for all of eternity, then it's fine with me."

"Ben?  Oh my god it is you!"  Before I had a chance to decide how I was feeling, he pulled me from the booth and my brother folded me into a bone crushing hug.  "Can you ever forgive me?  I was an ass the way I treated you.  I'll never be able to apologize enough for you to understand just how sorry I truly am."

"Unless you want the other diners here to think you are gay as well, you had better let go."

"I don't care, let them think what they will.  Oh, I have missed you!"  Alex must have finally noticed that I wasn't hugging him back.  He pulled away with a funny look on his face.  "Ben, aren't you glad to see me?"

"Nah, not really."

The look of pain that flowed from his face to lodge in his eyes was intense.  And that pain, I admit did cause me a twinge of guilt, but after the day I've had, ask me if I truly care.

Alex let go, and I sat back down on my side of the booth keeping my face as neutral as possible.  He slowly sank on the seat of the booth, and silence fell over the booth.  The waitress brought my soup and juice.  Thanking her I reminded her that my order was separate from whatever they ordered.  After shooing away the waitress, Alex just sat and looked at me while I calmly, outwardly at least, ate my soup and sipped my juice.

"I'm sorry, I was a stupid ignorant asshole for treating you that way.  And I let my guilt get in the way of finding out where you were.  Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"

"You're forgiven, feel better now? Your faggot brother just absolved you of your guilt.  And now you can go on with a light and free heart.  Need anything else from me before I go?"  My soup was almost finished, and while I ate the determination that if he wanted a relationship with me again, he was going to have to work at it.  Alex threw me away, not the other way around.

"Wait, you really meant it when you said you weren't glad to see me."

"Yes, I did mean it.  Even a faggot like me means what he says."

"Would you stop calling yourself that!"

"Oh, so it's ok for you to call me a faggot, but I can't refer to myself that way?  Whoa! Even after all these years you are telling me what to do."

"I'm sorry.  I know I don't deserve it, but could you at least sit here and talk to me, please?"

"Ok. I can spare a few minutes."

"Thank you."

"Ok, what do you want me to talk about, since you seem to be in charge of things.  Let's see….oh I was telling Nicki about my wife and husband.  We could talk about that."

'Your wife and husband?"

"Yes, if you would have allowed me to explain myself to you years ago, you would know that I'm bi, not gay, bi.  And so, in keeping with that, I have both a wife, and a husband."  Wouldn't you know it, just then my phone started warbling "Sweet Dreams"!  Perfect!  "Excuse me please, it's my husband."

"Hey honey!"

"Um, it's Rich.  Derrick is on his way to the hospital."

"What happened?"

"A piece of metal exploded and he got hit with tons of shrapnel.  He's ok, but he asked me to call you."

"Which hospital?"

"St. Mary's it's the nearest."

"Thanks."

I hurriedly hit end, and then quickly called Abby.

"Abby!  Derrick is on his way to the hospital.  Rich called, he is supposed to be ok, but I'm going over.  Sure, I'll pick you up on the way.  See ya in a few minutes."

I looked at my brother and his wife, "Hey I gotta go.  See ya around."  I got up and just walked away from them.  If I was truly important to him he would find me.

Zzzt….zzzt…zzzt…zzzt……z slap!  I groggily felt Derrick roll over and snuggle up to me.  Umm, that was such a nice way to wake up.  I felt lips on the back of my neck kissing me, as he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me in closer.

"Isn't it Monday?"

"Yeah.  Today is moving day for me, remember?"

"Oh, yeah."

"Someone is sleepy this morning."

"Kinda."

"Go back to sleep."

"Nah, I'll get up with you."

"You are already up.'

"Like I'm the only one?"

Thrusting softly against my butt and kissing the back of my neck he whispered, "Ya wanna?"

Pushing back against him I said, "…. ohh yeah…."

"Let's move this to the other room, ok?"

"Yeah."

We slipped quietly out of the bed, Abby still had hours before she needed to be up for work, and we moved into the guest room.  I think we need a better name for this room, cause it hasn't ever had any guests in it, but it's sure seeing a lot of sex lately!  Falling into the bed and into each others arms, this could become a very wonderful habit!  As Derrick headed to the shower I crawled back into bed with Abby, and slipped back into sleep before he got out of the shower.

 When Abby's alarm went off I was muddled headed and confused.  I hate it when i fall back to sleep after being up for a while, it totally trashes my head.  I drug myself into the shower, hoping the hot water would clear some of the cob webs away.  I was standing in the shower, leaning against the wall just letting the hot water pour over me, when Abby came into the shower and scared the shit outta me.

"Sorry!  What's with you this morning?"

"I got up with Derrick, and now my head is all mucked up."

"A gallon of coffee coming up, stat!"  Abby merrily laughed at me

"Shush, please Abby, not so loud."

"Oh, you do have the big head this morning, don't you?  Poor baby!"

"Oh, hell yes, I think it's going to fall off it hurts so bad."

"Let me get you some aspirins, ok?"

"If you do? I will love you forever."

"Boy, are you easy!"

"Yeah."

Abby hopped out of the shower and was back with aspirins, which I gratefully gulped down.

"I will wait until you are finished to shower this morning.  I'll get the coffee started."  Abby grabbed her robe, and headed out of the bathroom, leaving me blissfully alone.  I slowly washed my hair, putting off leaning over as long as possible, but either the hot water, or the aspirins had started to kick in because my headache started to ease up a bit.  I was still in the shower when Abby my little angel brought in a steaming mug of coffee.

"Wow, that was fast!"

"Derrick must have re-loaded the machine after he ate this morning, because it was ready and waiting for us.  You know there is no way, he was going anywhere with out coffee in the morning."

"Yeah, he does love his coffee."

"Do you think you can eat this morning?"

"Maybe some scramble eggs and a piece of toast."

"I'll be quick with my shower, just go and sit down ok?  You look pale."

"Ok."

"Are you sure about going in to work?"

"Yeah, my headache seems to be easing off some already."

"I'll be right out.  And don't you even think of starting breakfast!"

"Yes, I promise."  Slowly getting dressed, trying not to jostle my head, ugh unless my head improves work today is going to be a trial. Sinking gratefully into the soft cushions of the sofa, I must have drifted off, because the next thing I knew was Abby's cool hand on my forehead.

"I am going to pull rank on you this morning.  You are staying home, and going back to bed.  Here," Abby handed me the phone, "call in and tell them while I make you something to eat."

"But.."

"Don't you even think of trying to talk me into letting you go to work today.  Now make that call."

I knew better than to try to change Abby's mind, once her mind was made up there was little hope of changing it.  While I was dialing the phone, I couldn't remember the last time I had called in sick.  Oh well, that's what sick days are for, right?  Of course he wasn't in yet, so I left a message on his voice mail.

"Here you go honey, I know you love a bowl of oatmeal when you don't feel well."

The oatmeal smelled heavenly!  Oh, and she remembered to put a sliced banana in it.  Smiling up at her, I gratefully ate my breakfast.  No sooner had my spoon scooped up the last little bite, than was the bowl popped out of my hand, and then the spoon plucked from my hand.

"Alright mister, off to bed with your right now!  No arguments!"

"Ok."

And before I knew it, I was back in bed, and drifting off again.  The last thing I remember was a soft kiss from Abby, and then thankfully sleep pulled me under.

On the way to work I worried about Ben, he rarely suffered from a headache, but when he did have one, they were always real lulus. The work day was one of those uneven days, first slammed silly with calls and emails that needed to be quickly sent, and then periods of relative calmness.  During one of those periods of calmness, mom called….. and was angling for a dinner invite tonight, I could put her off due to Ben's headache.  But I think we are going to have to come clean with mom soon.  I would rather have things planed out that to have her drop by unexpectedly.  Sigh….. I wonder what mom is going to make of this?  She loves Ben, but what will she think of him after this?  Oh, and Derrick, what is she going to think of him?  Suppressing a giggle the thought of having my mom sit at the table and watching him make garlic bread, how can you not find it sweet how he kneels by the broiler?  And then the day swept me away from my thoughts as things speeded up again.

As I drove away from the house, my first stop was at the I-Haul truck rental shop, I needed a lift to help get the washer and dryer and dresser alone.  Well, I guess I could wait, but I just want to get this move over with, it feels like my life is on hold until I get moved out of here and move…. home.  Wow! It just struck me how that is the first place that has felt like home in a really long time.  Sighing, I wondered for the millionth time if mom missed me.  Should I try calling her?  Maybe "he" won't be home this time.  Still trying to decide what to do, I walked into my apartment, and was struck by how sad it was.  Sterile, flavorless, nothing here that is about me, no wonder Ben looked shocked when he first came in.  How did I ever manage to live in such a sad place?  It was like a waiting room, not a home at all.  Is this all I thought I deserved?  Anger boiled up in my chest.  Anger over how my mom let "him" treat me the way he did, anger over Tim with his infidelities.  I deserved better, and at long last I think I have found it!  I know how much Ben loves me, and Abby loves me too, I think.

Quickly packing thru the apartment, the question of what to do with the stuff from my kitchen.  I won't be needing it, and it's just cheap stuff, the toaster, microwave and coffee maker can go to work in the break room.  The rice cooker will come home with me, I can't imagine life without it, and we don't have one at home.  As the word home rolled around in my head, my heart swelled again.  A home, at long last, a place for me, where people care for me, and want me.  I was leaning over the washer disconnecting the water hoses, when I heard the door bell ring.

Opening the door I was surprised as hell to see Rich.  He was the only one from work that I hung around with at all.  We played video games, and went to a sports bar a few times to watch a football game.  Rich was 23, with brown eyes and dirty blonde hair he kept buzzed very short.  He was cute as hell, and had starred in a few late night fantasies.  "Hey Rich!  What's up?"

"Nothing man, just came by to play some video games with ya, and I see your in the middle of moving.  What the hell man?  Why didn't you ask me for help?"

"I just didn't think of asking, that's all, ok?"  Shit! I hope this goes well…..

"Why ya movin'?  Oh, don't tell me you finally found you a little cutie to move in with?"

"Uh, yeah I found someone to move in with."

"Man, I didn't even know you were dating.  What's she like?  She can't be to smart if she's going out with a looser like you!"  Laughing madly at his own joke, I punched him on the arm.

My mind was whirling thoughts around and around, trying to decide what to tell Rich.  Fuck it!  I'm just going to tell him the truth.  "I'm moving in with a guy, not a girl."

"What! Ha ha ha ha!  Good one!"  Rich must have seen the serious look on my face, because in the middle of his laughter, he came to an abrupt halt.  "You're not shittin' me are you?  So…..you're gay?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"Whoa dude!  Talk about a surprise!"

"We ok?"

"Fuck yeah!  Like I care who you sleep with."

Breathing out a breath I didn't even know I was holding, "I'm really glad to hear that Rich.  But, could you not tell the others at work?"

"For fucks sake no!  Most are complete asshats, they would make your work life a living hell."

"Thanks."

"You want some help?"

"Hellz yeah!"

As I was taking the computer desk apart Rich cleared his throat, I looked up to find him looking at me with a rather quizzical look on his face.

"What's up Rich?"

"Umm so I guess it's serious if you're moving in with him?"

"Yeah, really serious.  Why?"

"Well, it's just that you were unattached last week, and now you are moving in with him, ya know?"

"I know it's rather fast, but something just really clicked between us.  I can't really even describe it, but we are just right together, ya know?"

"Really? You know that fast?  How can that be?  How many dates have ya all had anyway?"

"Umm, mostly been together the entire week.  And ahh, he's……married."  At the shocked look on Rich's face I hurriedly continued, "No, no she knows about it, and she's cool with it, really."

"Now how could that be?"

"Umm, she would rather share him than loose him.  Look the thing is, they really do love each other, and this was the only way they could think of saving their marriage."

So, he is……?"

"His name is Ben, and he's bi."

"Oh….ok."

"If you will come in and meet them tonight, you will see how things work, yeah?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure.  It's my home too.  Hey, stay for supper, we could grill up some steaks.  Sound good?"

"Ok, if you're sure you want me to…."

"Sure I'm sure.  Let me call Abby to make sure she doesn't have anything planned for supper."

"No, no don't go to any trouble."

"Trouble?  It's not any trouble.  But speaking of food…. I'm hungry. How about you?  Want to grab some lunch?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

"Cool, you drive, and I'll call Abby."

"Ok.  Burgers sound good to you?"

"Yup!"

On the way out the door, I ran thru my address book looking for Abby's number.  Ah, there it is!

"Hey Abby, I was wondering if you had anything planned for dinner?  A friend from work stopped by and I roped him into helping me."

"No, it's fine with me, but you should check with Ben first.  He stayed home with a headache today."

"Really?  He was fine this morning.  What happened?"

"He fell back to sleep and that usually just gives him a sluggish head for a few hours, but today it gave him a lulu of a headache.  I made him stay home from work."

"Ok, I'll swing by and check up on him after we eat lunch."

"Sounds good.  I've been worried about him but afraid to call and wake him up.  Hang on a sec."

I could hear the sounds of several voices talking and then Abby came back on the line, "I gotta go put this fire out.  Love ya!"

"Love ya too!"  And with that, she was gone.  Turning to Rich I said, "Hey would you mind stopping after lunch at my house?  Ben stayed home with a really bad headache, and I want to check up on him."

"Sure, no worries."

We grabbed lunch from a drive thru, and headed home so I could check up on Ben.  We decided to eat at home, and the smell of lunch was causing my stomach to make loud rumbling sounds, and Rich took full advantage of teasing me about it.  As we pulled into the driveway I was fishing my keys out of my pocket, and had the door open almost as soon as the truck came to a complete stop.  Jumping down with our lunch in my hands I hustled up to the front door, waving for Rich to hurry up.  Opening the door, only silence met me, which really worried me.

I dumped the sack of burgers and fries on the table, and opened the fridge, "Drinks are in here, choose what you want.  I'll be right back."  And was out of the room like a shot.  Walking down the hallway, the silence continued, and the bedroom door was still tightly shut.  'Hmm, he must be still asleep.'  As quietly as possible I eased the door open to find Ben stretched out sleeping soundly, right in the middle of the bed.  Some how the sight of him sleeping alone, in "his" spot, really got to me.  I eased myself onto the side of the bed, not wanting to startle him awake.  Slowly I laid down and cuddled up to Ben.  I felt Ben drift awake, and he threw an arm over me, and snuggled up closer to me.

"Are you done moving already?  What time is it anyway?"

"No, I'm here to check up on you.  Well, and eat some lunch too.  It's almost one."

"Really?  Good grief!  I've slept the day away."

"Umm, I have a friend in the kitchen.  Ya wanna meet him?"

"Really?  Who?"

"Rich from work.  He stopped by today to see if I wanted to kill things on the XboX.  And I, um told him every thing."

"Everything?"

"Yeah."

"Wow!  Were you scared?"

"I was scared shitless!  But, it seemed to go ok.  So, do ya wanna meet him?"

"Of course!  I'll be right out."
 
"Ok.  You feeling ok?"

"Yup!  My headache seems to be gone."  At at time my stomach rumbled again, causing both of us to crack up laughing. "Go feed your monster.  I'll be right out."


Feeling much relieved after seeing that Ben was ok, I entered the kitchen and was digging in the fridge looking for something to drink, when I saw the cans of Dr. Pepper.  Now that sounded good!  Oh, and mayonnaise.  It sounds nasty, but I love to dip my fries in that and not ketchup.  Carrying the mayo and my can of pop, I smiled at Rich, which he seemed to find funny, and he started to laugh.

"What's so funny?'  I popped the top of the soda and took a long drink.  As I was pulling my burgers and fries from the sack, Rich was still laughing.  Again I asked him, "What?"

"Man, you do have it bad, don't you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you almost run into the house, dump me and lunch in the kitchen and sprinted down the hall.  And come back a few minutes later with a big dopy grin on your face."

"Hey, at least I came back!"

"You're right, you did.  Is he ok?"

"Yeah, he'll be out in a few."

Just then Ben came into the kitchen, looking mussed and oh so sexy in jeans and a tee-shirt and bare feet.  I must have had that dopy look on my face again, cause Rich started snickering again.

"Hey, I'm Ben.  Nice to meet you, Rich."

"Hi."  Ben and Rich shook hands, and Ben went to the fridge and started digging around looking for something.

"Ya know, we used to have left overs in here all the time.  But since you moved in they seem to be an extinct species."

"Ha ha ha, aren't you the funny guy?  Here I bought enough for both of us."

"Ok, let me grab a soda first."  Ben checked the table and not finding any ketchup, dived back into the fridge again, rooting around until he found it.  "How you can eat your fries without ketchup is beyond me.  Rich, would you like some ketchup?"

"Yeah.  What's up with this guy?  I mean really, mayo on fries?"

"I have no idea what so ever!  But aside from that little character quirk, he seems to be normal."

"Normal?  Huh, if you say so.  I guess you should know."

We teased and laughed our way thru lunch, and I felt that Ben and Rich with time could be friends.  They both ganged up on me on how many burgers I ate, I mean is 4 really that many?  Throwing away our lunch trash, I asked Ben, "Where do you want me to put my bedroom furniture?  In the garage for now?"

"Nah, let's move it in today, and get rid of the old furniture."

"Ok.  Let's get the room emptied out now so we can move the my stuff in."

"Sounds good."

With three of us working the room was quickly emptied and as Rich and I moved the dresser to the garage, Ben was vacuuming the carpet.  With that out of the way, we jumped into the truck now it was a tight squeeze, not that I minded being pressed up against Ben so tightly.  It's amazing how quickly we emptied the apartment.  Ben seemed to be on vacuum duty, because after we moved my bedroom suite into the truck, he had the vacuum running and had the bedroom and hallway clean.  As Rich and I wrestled the washer and dryer into the truck, Ben started cleaning the bathroom.  He finished about the same time as the last box was placed in the truck.

"Hey!"  Ben said to me as he was filling the mop bucket to swab the kitchen floor, "What do you say about going to get the manager and check out of here today?"

"Good idea.  I'll be right back."  I headed out to the managers office, hoping he was in.

"For only being together a week, you two seem really tight."

Ben stopped mopping and looked at Rich, trying to gauge what he was really saying.  Deciding that he wasn't being mean, Ben replied, "Yeah, it's kinda weird actually.  I've only meet one other person in my entire life that I felt an instant connection with, and I married her."

"Derrick mentioned that you were married.  She's really ok with…..this?"

"Yeah, she is.  We have had some rough days, but I think we are going to be ok."

"…..oh."

"What?"

"Well, it just seems like she would be jealous of Derrick."

"First of all, it was her idea for me to get a boyfriend.  And second of all, she has had some jealous moments.  I'm sure there are going to be more between the three of us.  But, I think we can make this work."

"Cool.  Now I know why he has been so happy this week."

"Really?  Like how?"

"Oh, he keeps drifting off in the middle of a conversation, with a really dopy look on his face."

"It sounds like me.  I've been having trouble concentrating this week too.  But, I don't know about the dopy face."

"Oh, believe me, you have it too!"

"Ha ha! ok then!"

I had finished cleaning the kitchen when Derrick returned with the manager.  After a quick walk thru, he pronounced it clean and in good shape, took the key and Derrick's new address, promising to send him his deposit within the next two weeks.

The truck was about half empty when Abby came home from work.  We would finish up tonight, but it had taken longer than we had thought it would.  Rich was helping me hook up the washer and dryer when Abby came into the garage.

Pulling my head and shoulders from behind the washer, I motioned to Rich to turn around.  "Rich Hobart, this is Abby Parker.  I work with Rich up at the mine."

"Glad to meet you!  Thanks so much for helping Derrick get moved in.  Are you staying for supper?"

"If it's ok with you, I would love to."

"Good!  I'll change and get supper started.  Oh, where's Ben?"

"He's in the guest room setting up the bed.  What do you want to do with your old bedroom suite?"

"Load it in the truck and drop it off at one of the charity shops."

"Um, Abby?"  Abby and I turned and looked at Rich, he had a really funny look on his face.

"Yeah?"

"My sister's apartment burned down a few weeks ago.  She's bunking in with me right now, and it's kinda tight.  I have a one bedroom apartment, there are 4 of them.  Gloria and the two older kids are sleeping with her, the baby is in a crib in the living room, and I'm sleeping on the sofa.  We are starting to snap at each other.  I mean I love my sister but honestly!  So, I was just thinking if you didn't mind, that bedroom suite would come in real handy."

"Well, I've got a few boxes of kitchen stuff I didn't know what to do with either.  You could have that too.  Oh, and my box of sheets and towels.  We don't need the extras do we Abby?"

"No of course not.  Does your sister work?"  Abby had an interesting look on her face.  I wish that I knew her better, because I really wanted to know what she was thinking right now.

"Yeah, she does, but money has been tight for her ever since the divorce.  I'm helping all I can, but I have bills of my own.  I have the money for a deposit on a new apartment, but she needs so much to get her moved into a place of her own."

"Let me go and get changed, and I'll start supper.  Derrick could you get the charcoal started?"

There was something afoot that's for sure, but not having any idea what it could be, I let i go saying, "Sure Abby, one fired up grill coming up."  Getting the grill going, I enjoyed standing on the patio, feeling the breeze listening the the sounds of the neighborhood. Today has gone very well I think, I came out to Rich, and we're still tight.  I wonder how well Rich would get along with Lisa?  Maybe we could invite them both over, that would be cool to have some people to hang out with.  I'll have to run it by Abby and Ben.  The coals seem have caught well, time to go back to work on getting the truck emptied.

Just as we finished putting the last box away, Abby came into the garage, saying dinner was finished.  I don't think I could have lasted much longer with the yummy smells coming from the kitchen, and blowing from the grill.  We all went and washed up, and Ben and I stole a quick kiss when Rich wasn't looking.  Stolen kisses can be so sweet.  Ben gave Abby a quick kiss on the lips, and I gave her a huge hug for making such a fantastic supper.  Grilled pork chops, mashed sweet potatoes, cole slaw, biscuits, and green beans, heaven on my plate!  And Abby the angel that she is, made huge amounts of food, so I had plenty to eat, even with Rich here.  I grabbed a few beers from the fridge for the guys, and Abby wanted lemonade.  Abby really warmed up to Rich, and dinner was very pleasant.  We sat around the table long after we were done eating, just enjoying the company of each other.  Finally both Rich and I started to yawn, tomorrow is going to come really early!  Ben pushed Abby back into her chair to chat with Rich, while we cleaned up the kitchen.

"Oh crap!  I just realized my truck is at the rental place."

"Ya want me to pick you up?"

"Nah, it's to far out of your way, but thanks anyway.  I'll just take the old blanket out of my trunk to sit on."

I walked Rich out to his truck to say thanks for all the help today.  And before I could get my mouth open Rich said, "Hey, I want to thank you for the bedroom set.  Do you mind storing it in the garage for a bit longer?"

"No worries, ok?"

"Derrick?  You were right, it does work between the three of you, I'm happy for you."

"Thanks.  So you are cool with me, with us?"

"Yes."

"Cool.  See ya tomorrow at work then."

"Bye."

Ben and Abby were sitting on the sofa chatting, when I came into the living room.  Abby had changed into her pj's, and was snuggled up against Ben, but when she saw me come into the room, she held her hand out to me.  When I took it she pulled me down next to her, smiling at me she said, "Well!  I really liked Rich.  He's good people.  Ben told me you told him everything?"

"Yeah.  He's the only friend I have, and didn't want to lie to him."

"Rich acted like he was ok with our….relationship.  Was he really?"

"He is.  Rich mentioned it before he left.  He's cool.  I need to go to bed, tomorrow is going to a shit kinda day.  We have a 12 hour turn around on changing out the teeth on the 994 loader."

Abby pouted cutely, "You can't stay up for a little bit?  For me?  Please?"  Laughing at her play pouting, I pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek.

"Ok little lady, just for you."  I had tried my best at a John Wayne imitation causing all of us to laugh.  I can't channel the Duke at all.

"Um, my mom called today, and she is angling for an invite.  We normally have her over several times a month.  I….ah we need to explain how things are with us.  Honestly, I'm worried about how she will take to this."  Abby waved her hand between the three of us.

Ben was very quiet, and had a far away look in his eye.  I glanced at Abby, she had a little frown on her face as she was watching Ben.  Drawing a ragged breath in he said, "I think that it should be me that tells your mom.  All of this is my fault.  If I wasn't bi, this wouldn't have happened.  Let me take her to dinner, talk to her, and if things go well, bring her back here."

"No.  This isn't all your fault.  You tried to divorce me, and I wouldn't let you.  So this is as much my "fault" as it is yours.  We will tell her together, the three of us.  Derrick, what do you think?"

"Me? I don't know.  I don't have a clue."

The three of us sat quietly, each thinking our own thoughts, working on the knot of how to work this so it turns out the best way possible.  Abby finally broke the silence saying, "She's my mom, so I get to choose.  And I choose that we tell her together.  Done!"

"Baby, it doesn't work that way, and you know it.  Derrick you are thinking something, I can tell, what is it?"

Clearing my throat, to be honest I was a trifle nervous but decided to plunge in the deep end and just hope that every thing would turn out for the best, "I see where you both have good points here.  No, really.  She is Abby's mom, she should get a bigger say in this.  I can see where Ben would feel it's all his fault, and that he should be the one to take the blunt end of any negative emotion, shielding Abby from her mom's possible anger."  Pulling in a lung full of air feeling a quiver in the pit of my stomach I finished up saying, "But I think that Ben should be the one to tell her.  He was the one in pain, and he did try to do the honorable thing by letting you fly free."

Sighing a huge sigh Abby quietly said, "Ok, you tell her.  But not at some soulless restaurant, tell her here, I'll leave the room until you are ready for me.  Derrick and I will wait until you call us."

Ben looked at the two of us, "So, is tomorrow to soon?  Now that we have made our decision, I'd like to get it over as soon as possible."

Abby looked at me, I nodded yes, and we both looked at Ben, who said, "Ok then, tomorrow it is."

 Sitting at the diner waiting for our breakfasts to arrive, my mind just sort of drifted off.  I'm still trying to work my head around what I saw this morning.  I mean knowing is one thing, but seeing is quite another.  I don't really know what bothers me the most, seeing Ben having sex with Derrick, or how much Ben enjoyed it, and well, also that it was……..arousing.  What made it arousing to me?   I just don't know.  I'm going to have to spend a lot of time thinking through all of this I think.  It's really odd, one moment I'm fine with seeing them enjoying sex, and then the next moment, I'm completely overwhelmed and lost and slightly confused.  I just can't get the picture of them out of my head……..

"Abby?  You ok, honey?"  When Ben spoke to me it jerked me back to the world at large.

"Yeah, I'm ok, just thinking that's all."

"About this morning?"

"Uh huh.  Just trying to get it all straight in my head that's all.  I just need to work on some stuff, ok?"

"Wanna tell us what?"

"Not yet.  I need to work through this some more on my own first."

"Are you sure you don't wanna talk about it?"

"Very.  I need to work some of this myself, ok?"

"Sure honey."

Over our breakfast we chatted about a nothing important, just the little things that seemingly fill most every table during meal times.  It was pleasant and relaxed, and a really nice counterpoint to the emotional morning.  Walking to the car, I grabbed Derrick's hand and his surprised but pleased grin made me happy.  Taking a quick hop step pulling Derrick with me, I snagged Ben's hand earning me a happy grin from him.  I wanted to sit in the back seat on the way to the mall, not really in the mood to chat, and this allowed me time to think.


I'm rather worried about how Abby is actually dealing with seeing Derrick and I together this morning. She never wants to sit in the back seat, and almost leaped in front of Derrick to get to the back passenger door before he could.  She seems to fluctuate between the posts of handling it and floundering.  On the drive to the mall I kept looking in the rear view mirror, no tears well that had to be a good sign, yeah?  Sigh…… this is going to be tough day all around I think.

As we got out of the car, Abby looked up into Derrick's hesitant smile saying, "Well big guy, I hope your debt card is made of asbestos because it's going to burn a path through the mall today!"

Derrick shot a look at me of pure and utter helplessness.  Laughing at his bunny in the road look saying, "I tried to warn you that she is a shopping warrior.  We won't be leaving anytime soon, I can tell you that."

Gulping a little at that thought a strangled whisper came from him, "Ok."

With Abby leading the way, she attacked the first large department store with precision.  Jeans, polos, tee shirts, and jackets flowed into and out of his dressing room.  I was on guard to make sure he tried on everything and it fit well, and to make sure he didn't run away I think!  Progressing thru the mall, hoodies from a store that seemed to overflow with them, and had some very cute salespeople.  One very cute guy wouldn't stop touching Derrick, and some possessiveness streak that I didn't know I had caused me to wrap my arm around his waist.  In a very brave move, Derrick leaned in and quickly kissed my lips earning a smile from me and a look of disappointment on the clerks face.  What won the priceless look though, was when Abby came up and she earned a kiss on the lips from the both of us!

Derrick was beginning to flag that was clear.  His interest in shopping was almost nil to start, and this marathon shopping was not his sport.  Hmm, what we need is a carrot, something that will keep him shopping until Abby decides he is done.  Just as I was opening my mouth to suggest lunch, or a snack or something to eat, a squeal came from Abby and dropping all the bags she had been holding she ran into a woman's arms, who was squealing along with Abby.  We stood there completely forgotten, wondering who this woman was.  They were hugging and talking, only to hug some more, Derrick looked at me, and I just shrugged an I don't have a clue shrug.  Finally Abby wound down a bit and tugged her over to us.

"Lisa Davis, this is my husband Ben Parker, and our good friend Derrick Addison.  Lisa and I were roommates my first three years of college, until she transferred."

"Hello Lisa, it's very nice to finally meet you. Abby has told me so much about you, it's almost as if I already know you."  Lisa had large dark brown sparkling eyes, deep dimples when she smiled, smooth beautiful skin the color of milk chocolate, and hair that fluffed out around her head in long curls.  A very beautiful woman.

Derrick looked worried and uncomfortable but held out his hand saying, "Hi Lisa."  Lisa grabbed his hand with both of hers, and just held it softly between hers, causing an impressive flow of emotions across his face.

Lisa looked Derrick over with an apprising eye, I think she really liked what she saw, and was being so obvious that it caused Derrick to slightly redden.  Abby watched Lisa devour Derrick with her eyes, and suddenly it occurred to her that Lisa was interested in Derrick!

"Derrick weren't you going to buy a laptop today?  Why don't you two boys go put all my bags in car, and go to the computer store and let us girls catch up. Ok?"

"Sounds good to me, maybe we can get together for dinner?"  I was so happy that Abby had given us a way out.  Hopefully she would clue Lisa in on the fact that Derrick wasn't interested in her.

"Dinner would be lovely!  It was very nice to finally meet you Ben, I have heard so much about you, and yes it's all good.  Now that I'm back in the area hopefully we will be able to see a lot of each other in the future.  It was great meeting you to Derrick."

"Yeah, nice to have meet you too Lisa."  To keep Lisa from getting ahold of his hand again, he bent down and and started picking up as many of the shopping bags as he could.  I hurried to scoop up the rest of them.

As we walked to the car, Derrick let out a loud breath, "Man I hate it when women look at me that way!  I feel like a piece of meat or something. Ya know?"

"I wouldn't know Mr. Handsome!  Women don't look at me like that.  Me? I'm a fairly average looking guy, but you?  You are drop dead gorgeous, and I think one of the things that makes you so handsome is that you don't realize it."

"Me?  Pfft!  Yeah, right.  You're the one who is all kinds of handsome, not me!"

We laughed all the way to the car, and for a while on the way back briefly held hands.  Those few stolen moments of holding hands felt so good.  I really wanted a kiss, but that was pushing it, and I wasn't ready yet to possibly be seen by someone I knew.  How lame was that?  I love Derrick, but I want to hide our love.  Oh what the hell!  I'm not going to deny him again, like we did with Lisa, I grabbed his hand and quickly pulled him in for a quick kiss.  Shock was written all over his face, which was quickly replaced with happiness.  Smiling he kissed me back.  He understood what my kiss was saying, and it took some of the sting out of being introduced as a "good friend" earlier.

"I'm sorry about earlier.  We need to work on introducing you to our friends and acquaintances.  But, we will get better at it, I promise."

"No, no, I understand, and it's cool.  Honestly, what was Abby to say?  This is my husband and his boyfriend?"

"It's not cool at all.  What she should have said, is this is my husband, Ben, and my other husband Derrick."

"But, I'm not Abby's husband now am I?  If I'm anyone's husband it would be yours.  At the most?  I am Abby's good friend like she said."

"That's not true Derrick and you know it!"

"Yes Ben, it's true and you know it.  Abby and I are just getting to know each other.  It's going to take us a while to get beyond friends.  But to call me Abby's husband?  I don't know if that title will ever qualify.  I do love her, and I think she will grow to love me, but not in a lover sort of way.  And I think that is one of the requirements for the title of husband is to be her lover, and I just don't see that happening, ever.  I know you had hopes for that, but she doesn't move me that way.  And to be honest, I don't think I move her that way either, and I'm fine with that, and you need to deal with that fact.  Sexually we are going to be two couples, not three."

Sighing I replied, "I know, or at least am beginning to understand.  I am just worried that it could lead to jealousy being two couples and not three."

"I don't think you have to worry about that.  So, far we are working thru things and everyone seems happy, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Ok, enough talk, let's go buy me a computer."



What kind of odds is it that I would meet up with Lisa after all these years in a mall?  Walking to a coffee shop we exchanged the latest news in each others lives.  I knew Lisa had been transferred back to our area, but the last I heard she didn't know the exact date. She had only been back in town less than a week, and with the flurry of finding an apartment while working full time had left her at the end of the day absolutely exhausted, but she was planning on calling me next weekend.  After ordering our coffees, and pastries our talk turned from getting all caught up to current events.

"So, tell me all about that delicious Derrick?  Is he dating?  If so, do you think it's serious?  Or do I have a chance to steal him away?"

"Umm, Lisa he is in a very serious relationship."

"Oh.  How long has he been dating her?"

"Only a week, and umm it's not a her, it's a him."

"He's gay? Shit.  How could it be that serious if it's only been a week?"

"It's just one of those love at first sights kinda things."

"Oh, have you met his boyfriend yet?"

"Yeah, I have."

"Do you like him?  Is he a nice guy?"

I sat there for a moment trying to decide how to answer that. Do I come clean?  Or do I lie?  Quickly I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Ben, "Do I tell her about us?"

My phone chimed and I read Ben's answer which was short and to the point. "Yes."

"Abby?  What's up?  What's wrong?"

"Lisa, yes I know Derrick's boyfriend, and not only do I like him,"  I drew in a huge and kinda shaky breath, and looking down at the table said, "I love him.  It's Ben."

I quickly looked up, the expression on her face was hard to read, I had no idea what she was thinking at all.  Sweat broke out in my armpits, and my hands started to shake, when a warm hand was laid on mine.

"Abby?  It's ok, really it is.  Wanna talk to me about it?"

In fits and starts I told her every thing, from the day when I came home with Ben wanting a divorce to this mornings activities in the guest room and how it affected me.  Running out of words I just sat there, afraid to look up, afraid she would get up in disgust with me, with Ben, and turn her back on me, forever.

"Oh!  How sad!  Poor Ben!  But, more to the point, are you really ok with all of this? Honestly?"

"It's been a rough week, I won't lie to you.  Lisa I wish you could see the difference between last weeks Ben and this weeks.  He is so much happier.  You saw him, he almost glows with happiness.  When our happiness started to fade, I don't really know.  All I know is that since it's back, did I realize how far we had slipped from each other.  Our love feels renewed, fresh again.  When he holds me, there is no space between us, Derrick isn't between us at all.  Ben loves both of us.  And Derrick, how could you not love him.  He is so very sweet, so loving.  He was prepared to give Ben up, rather than come between us.  He brought Ben home to me, he forced Ben to come home and set things right after our giant fight.  I am starting to fall in love Derrick."

"Wow!  Abby, I have to give you props for letting Ben bring his boyfriend home to live with you two.  I don't think I would be as accommodating as you have been."

"If you loved him as much as I love Ben, you would have done the exact same thing.  The only other option was to lose Ben, and I didn't want to do that I love Ben, and I want him to be happy.  And to be honest, i can't imagine my life without Ben in it.  Somehow it doesn't really feel like I am sharing him, it seems like I have more of him than ever before."

"How can that be?"

"Well, Ben doesn't have to hide part of himself from me any longer.  I mean when we first met he did tell me that he was bi, but it never was mentioned again, and it just slipped from my mind.  But, for Ben while he loves me, there was a part of him he was denying, and I guess it got to the point where it overwhelmed him until he just couldn't deny it any longer.  And now, he is whole, so for the first time in a very long time I have all of Ben again."

"Oh… How do you decide who Ben sleeps with?"

"Oh, we all share a bed.  Ben sleeps in the middle.  So, we each get to snuggle with him.  Derrick gets up hours before me, and Ben gets up with him, and Ben is there when I wake up.  We each get some alone time with him, which is just wonderful.  Ben and I get home from work hours before Derrick does, and that has led to some really sweaty and passionate sex.  Derrick has slipped into our lives so effortlessly, almost like we have been a…… a triplet forever."

"You know what you should do?  If you are really ok with all of this? Are you really ok with this living arrangement?"

"Yeah I am.  There are still some issues we need to address, but I am happy."

"Then you need to make him an equal partner, and soon."

"Equal partner?  How?"

"Give him a ring, a wedding ring.  Do the vows again.  Maybe new bands for everyone to celebrate this new beginning."

"Ya know what?  That is an excellent idea.  Now comes the hard part, telling people."

"Ohh, that is going to be the tricky part.  I guess the best thing to do, for now only tell people you think will be ok with it.  What about your mom?  Does she know?"

"No.  I thought I should get things all settled and have all the bumps worked out before we tell her.  I'm kinda worried about telling her.  And my sister………. I have no idea how she will take it.  Luckily she moved a few hours away last year, so we don't see her to often."

"Things are still rough between you two then?"

"Yeah, nothing has changed there at all.  I have no idea why she is so jealous of me, but she is.  And I can just image what kinda storm this will cause.  But, I want to get mom on board with this before we tell Emily."

"Somethings never change do they?"

"No, well not Emily at least.  I think she is going to make mom choose between her or me, and I really hate putting mom in that position."

"Who do you think your mom will side with?"

I sighed rather loudly, "Mom has mostly stayed out our bickering.  I think she will try very hard to not allow Emily to put her in the position of having to choose between us."

My phone chimed, and it was a text from Ben saying, "r u ok?"

I smiled at Lisa saying, "I need to call Ben, ok?"

"Sure."

"Hi!  Yeah, I'm ok.  No worries. At the coffee shop.  Ok, see ya soon.  Love ya!"

"Ok, they are done buying Derrick a laptop and will be here soon.  Are you sure your fine with……this…us?"

"Yes Abby, I am fine.  Stop worrying so much!"

Minutes ticked by and Ben and Derrick walked in, and quickly made their way to our table.

"Hi babe, you ok?"  Ben pulled me from my chair, and giving me an exquisite hug.  I just melted into the safe harbor of his arms.  Derrick leaned in and kissed my cheek.  Pulling free of Ben's arms I snuggled into Derrick's chest and felt his arms wind around me, and Ben kissed my cheek.  Putting me between them at the table I felt safe and protected, and very very loved.

"Derrick are you hungry?  Your tummy is rumbling.  Let me go get you something.  Ben are you hungry also?"

"Yeah, I could eat, how about a sandwich.  What about you bottomless pit?"

"Hey!  I'm not always hungry!"  The look Ben and I gave Derrick caused all of us to burst into laughter.

"Ok, I'm hungry most of the time, is that better?"

I kissed his cheek, "Well, I don't know about better, but much more honest!  I'll be right back."

After ordering their food and bringing their coffees back to the table I saw that Derrick and Ben were holding hands, but as soon as they saw me, they pulled apart making room for me again.  And at first I felt as if I was intruding, but at the happy smiles on both of their faces seeing me return, soon laid that snake to sleep, and I happily settled back between them.

We sat and chatted for over an hour, when Ben suddenly said, "How about coming home with us for supper?  We could grill some steaks or something."

"I would love to."

"Abby?  What do we want to make for supper?"

"Hmm, Lisa do you have any preference as to supper?"

"Nope, I love a good steak.  I will eat almost anything really."

"Even prosciutto?  That stuff isn't even food!"  Derrick shuddered at the memory of the flavor.

We all laughed at Derrick's expression, and he started chuckling along with us too.

"I do have to agree with you on that Derrick, prosciutto is not food.  It's spoiled lunch meat!"  Lisa's eyes merrily twinkled with playfullness.

"Exactly!"  Derrick held his fist up for Lisa to bump him, and she did quite enthusiastically.

"Ok, so we won't be dining on prosciutto tonight!  Any other requests?  And yeah I know Derrick, big portions!"  I kissed his cheek to pull any sting from my teasing words.

"Honey, how about you ride home with Lisa, and Derrick and I will stop off at the store and pick up the makings for supper?  Sound good?"

"Now how could I turn down two such cute grocery shoppers?  Go for it!"

Parting at the parking lot with the guys, Lisa and I walked to her car, chatting about nothing of consequence, I gave her the general direction to our house, and I was just about to burst like an over ripe tomato.

"Well?  What did you think of Derrick?"

"He is a dream!  And you are right, Ben loves both of you.  He lights up for you, he lights up for Derrick.  I think Derrick really loves you too."

"Yeah, me too.  Do you see what I mean about how easy he is to love?"

"I do."

We sat on the patio, enjoying the beautiful weather and just chatted idly about nothing of importance, waiting for the guys to come back so I could get supper started.  It was so nice to have Lisa back in my life.  And even better that she was fine with our arrangement.  The guys got back from the grocery store with bags of groceries.  The big surprise was they wanted to help make dinner.  Ben got the steaks marinating and the grill lit, Lisa made the salad, the guys wanted french fries and corn on the cob, so I got started on that.  And Derrick?  He made his favorite thing in the world, garlic bread.  I love watching Derrick kneel at the broiler watching the garlic bread like a hawk so that it doesn't burn. The look on his face is so sweet to me, a mixture of concentration and anticipation.

The evening was a tad bit to cold to eat on the patio, I can't wait for warmer weather to get here.  I love living on the patio, enjoying the fresh air, and the sounds of kids playing, and the smell of fresh cut grass which is the smell of summer to me.  Dinner was a huge success, the food was great, the company even better.  Ben bought Lisa and I a nice bottle of red wine, and of course beer for them.  They were pretty excited to try this beer, some import from somewhere…….  We sat over dinner for a long while, just chatting and enjoying getting to know each other again.

After a while Derrick got up and started to clear the table, after he got the table about halfway emptied, he nudged Ben saying, "Hey there boyfriend, ya going to sit on your lazy ass all night or are you going to get up and actually help?"

"Listening to you, I think you sound more like a wife than a boyfriend.  Nag, nag, nag!"  A huge smile spilt his face, as he was clearly teasing both Derrick and me.

Pretending to be mad I said, "Hey!! Watch it buster!"  At that everyone started to laugh, and then proceed to laugh even harder when Ben got up to help get things cleaned up.

Ben waved a hand towel at Lisa and I saying, "You two get out of here at let us clean this mess up."

Lisa and I beat a hasty retreat to the living room and let the guys get on with it, and we sat down to continue our visit.  After a few minutes, Lisa had finished her glass of water, and was still thirsty.  She got up to go into the kitchen but was back almost instantly, with a very funny look on her face.

"What's wrong?"

"Umm, I think I interrupted something in the kitchen."

Curious as to what was going on in the kitchen, I got up and peeked around the corner into the kitchen.  They were doing dishes and talking and laughing, nudging each other with their hips and seemed to be making dish duty a fun time.  Hmm, what were they doing when Lisa peeked in?

"Lisa I gotta ask, what were they doing when you looked in?  They are just doing dishes now."

"……………kissing….."

Laughing at the look on her face I said, "Yeah they do tend to do that.  Ben likes to kiss when he does dishes."

"Oh…. ok."

"See?  It's totally different hearing about it, than seeing it, yeah?"

"Yeah, it is."

Quickly the guys were done doing dishes and rejoined us.  And all to soon Lisa started to yawn, and that set Derrick off, and it was clear to everyone that our wonderful afternoon and evening had come to a close.  Shortly after saying farewell to Lisa, the three of us were snuggled in bed and drifting off to sleep.  A smile was on my face as I was falling asleep, such a completely awesome day!