Trucks and Kisses

3

Posted on 9:31 PM | By Biki Honko | In

"Mom?  What do you want to bring with you?"

"Oh, just my mom's dishes and my clothing….oh! And a box from the attic."

I stood looking into the dining room, and then took a quick turn through the house, ending back in the kitchen asking, "Umm, isn't the dining room, and the rockers, and the spare bedroom furniture from yours or dad's family?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Do you really want to leave it for him?  Mom, come on lets take it with us, ok?"

"Honey, how could we move all of this in only one day?"

"Do you know some teenagers that would come over and work hard for good money?"

"Yeah….I guess so.  But what would we do with it?"

"We'll store it until you can get a place of your own.  Please mom don't leave any of this stuff for him."

"Ok.  I think the youth group is meeting today at noon.  We could swing by and ask if any of them would be interested."

"Good!  I'll go get a truck, you start organizing things here, ok?  That way when I bring back boxes you can just drop stuff in, ok?"

"Ok honey, ok."

I looked in the phone book and found a place not to far away.  Mentally calculating what size of a truck I would need to bring everything back in.  Oh!  We are going to need to leave a car here.  Hmm, I wonder if mom's car was even worth taking.  It was running rough before I left home.  I was always tinkering with it to keep it running.  Could it even make the trip there in one piece?  What I need to do is to convince mom to leave it, and accept my car in exchange….hmm how to sweeten this deal to make it more palatable for her?  I left my car at the rental place, put the ton of boxes and tape and bubble wrap in the front and was back at mom's in only 45 minutes.  Score!  This was still possible to get finished and be out of here before Tim came home, I hope.

I ran in and got mom's car keys from her, and backed her car out of the drive.  Just as i suspected, it was running horrible, ok think of a plan to let her leave the car happily.  I backed the truck up the driveway, and was now ready to start filling it.  Mom came out to help carry in the load of flat boxes and wrap.  She already had several piles of things on the floor ready to be boxed up.  I hurriedly built boxes for her to fill while I readied the bedroom furniture for it's move.  Walking past mom's bedroom, I stopped and stood there, thinking….
"Hey mom?  Isn't this set, from when you were married to dad?"

"Yeah, he bought it for me when we got married."

"Don't you want it to?"

Mom stood there, frozen for a moment before turning to me with an odd expression, almost expressionless in some strange way, before she said, "No!  I don't want it, Tim ruined this set for me."  After saying that she went back into the kitchen to continuing packing grandma's dishes.

At that specific eye blink of time I knew that no matter how bad things had been for me, mom lived through much worse.  Rage poured throughout my body, and if Tim had of come through that door at that time, I would have been living what little time left to me in jail for murder.  Harnessing my rage, I worked as quickly as possible without breaking anything.  Luckily for the teens that showed up about 20 minutes later, I had gotten myself firmly under control. I will hurt him by taking every thing from the house that mom will allow, and by hiring a devoid of human compassion shark of a lawyer.

The teens were eager to work, and quicker than I could believe, we had the furniture mom wanted out of the house and snuggly housed in the truck.  Boxes came next.  I perched mom in the attic pointing out boxes for them to carry out to the truck.  The boys started trickling away as other commitments intruded on helping us.  I handed out twenties to the boys until there was only one boy left.  A smiling hard working, stomach growling teen.  Looking down at my watch I saw that it was only 2:30.  We had plenty of time to break for lunch.

"Hey!  I don't know about you Jake, but I'm starving.  Let's break for lunch, ok?"

"Sure!  My stomach thinks it's been forgotten!"

"Haha!  Yeah, know just what you mean!  Let's get my mom and we can head out for lunch."

"Umm, could you pay me first please?"

"Nope!"  I saw his face fall, so quickly I added, "Because lunch is on me."

A smile shone out of him, that could have made the very sun in the sky jealous.

"Go wash up, and meet us in the kitchen."

I walked into the kitchen and quietly asked mom, "Hey what do you know about Jake?"

"His parents are very poor, but it's not because they don't work.  They are both hard workers, they have just had several large set backs.  Jake would love a part time job, but they live out of town far enough so that getting to work is kinda problematic for him.  He rides in with one of the youth group leaders who lives out by him.  Why?"

I heard the bathroom door open so I quietly told mom, "I'll tell you later, ok?"

After quickly washing up, we headed out in my car to the nearest Burger Doodle.  Man, I sure missed this chain!  The burgers were so big, juicy, just flat out delicious!   After finding out what they wanted I had them go grab a table while I put in our order.  It was kinda a weird system, you order from the counter, but they bring it to your table.  I doubled Jake's order, he was kinda thin, some extra calories would do him good.

The expression on his face when he saw that I had doubled his order of two burgers to four was camera worthy!  He left no fry, no sesame seed left behind, he managed to fit it all in.  Eating with mom again, seeing her smile at me across the table, made me so very happy that I had come today.  Even if that human pond scum hadn't of been mistreating her, just seeing the pleasure she took in a simple meal of burgers with me was of more value than the Hope Diamond, at least to me.

After we got back to the house, I set mom packing the more breakable items, while Jake and I worked on getting the boxes off the lawn and into the truck.  We were both  quiet except for the occasional comment here and there, so when he actually spoke to me, it surprised me.

"Derrick?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you kiss me?"  To say that I was shocked at his request, would be the understatement of the world.

"Ahh….wait, what?"

"I know you're gay.  Kiss me please."

"Well, yeah I am, but how did you know?"

Jake giggled a bit before answering me, "You watched that cute waiter guy walk away.  In fact you slightly leaned a bit to watch him longer."

Busted!  But damn, that waiter guy was seriously cute!  "Ok, yeah I am, but why do you want me to kiss you?"

"I've never been kissed before, and I'm tired of waiting to see what it's like……and…….ummm……you're much cuter that that waiter."

"How old are you Jake?"  Damn!  How in the hell was I going to worm my way of this?

"I'm 16.  Yeah, I know I'm not legal yet.  I promise not to tell.  Please kiss me, please?"

"I just can't Jake, I'm sorry.  It wouldn't be right."

Jake just nodded his head, and went back to work, but with much less spring in his step.  I've just crushed him.  Oh shit!  Do I kiss him anyway?

"Let's go check and make sure there isn't anything left in the attic, ok?"

"………sure."

We walked through the partly empty house and up into the attic, where I surprised him by pulling him into me and kissing him soundly.  No tongue, I wasn't going there, but soft lips working on his, holding him, cradling him against me, hoping to impart a feeling of caring to him.  When I pulled my lips from his, Jake melted against me.  His heart was pounding against me, and I felt his hardness against my hip.  I ran my hands up and down his back, letting him calm down before releasing him.

As I pulled away, the smile on this boy was nothing short of beautiful.  He leaned back into me, and snaked his arms around me, and held on to me tightly, he lightly kissed my neck before stepping out of my arms.

"Thank you" he breathed out, "Oh, thank you!  That was so much better than I ever dreamed it would be."

"You're welcome, but just this once, understand?"

"Yeah."

"Good, let's get back to work, ok?"

"Sure!"

I sent him outside to work on getting the boxes stacked in the truck, and went to work on mom about getting rid of her car.

"So, about your car mom?"

"You want me to give it to Jake don't you?"

"Umm, yeah…how in the hell did you know that?"

"Just from the questions you were asking me earlier.  He really is a wonderful boy.  My car could make the world of difference to his family.  I'll go get the title and sign it over to him while he's busy."

"Don't worry about not having a car to get around in mom, you can have mine ok?  I hardly drive it anyway.  We have a surplus of cars at the house as it is."

"How will you get to work?"

"I have an beater of a truck I use for that.  The road is gravel and poorly maintained, I'm usually filthy when I get off work.  If I was to buy a new truck it would be ruined in no time at all.  So, while the inside is trashed and the outside looks like crap, it runs like a champ."

"Ok, but your car is just a loan until I can get one for myself.  Understand?"

"Yup!"  I gave mom a hug, just because I could.  Damn!  I missed that.  Poor Ben.  I sure wish there were some hope there, but no matter how many times we ask Alex and Nicki, the answer never varies.  No hope at all for reconciling Ben and his parents.

Just shy of five, we shut the door on the truck, and put mom's suitcases and a few boxes in my, err mom's car.  Jake went inside to try to wash some of the sweat off of him, and he needed to use the phone to call around for a ride.  When he came out of the bathroom, mom called him into the living room. Which was the only basically untouched room in the entire house.

Mom patted the sofa cushion next to her saying, "Sit here next to me Jake.  I have something to talk to you about."

Jake warily sat next to mom, throwing me a scared look.  I know what he was thinking, he was sure that mom had seen me kiss him, or him ask for a kiss.

Mom smiled at him and patted his knee saying, "Jake, I've known you almost your entire life.  I know the struggles your family has gone through in the past few years, and I always wished there was some way I could help out.  But you know I don't have much money to spend.  I wont be needing my car, Derrick is giving me his car to use.  My car isn't the best, but with someone that can tinker around with it, I bet it's got a lot of miles left in her.  Your dad is great with anything with an engine, so ask him to help you keep it running, ok?"  And mom put the title into a very shocked young man hands.

Jake sat there completely without expression, and then the mom's words finally computed, and joy broke out all over!  He jumped up, and sat down, and jumped up again, he turned towards me, and back to mom!  After sagging onto the sofa again, I thought I saw a hint of tears in his eyes.  And when he spoke I was sure he was fighting back tears, "I don't have words to explain what this car means to me.  Finally I can get a part time job and help out, even if I just buy my clothing and help out on the food bill, it will be a huge weight off mom and dad.  Ever since mom fell sick, we have been barely making ends meet.  I'll need a phone number, if that's ok with you Mrs. Roberts.  I'm sure my dad will want to talk to you."

Mom patted his knee and got up to get a pad of paper, and had me write down my address and the house phone number.  While mom was out of the room Jake said, "Thank you!  I know this was your idea, yeah?"

"Yeah. And just to put your mind at ease, before you asked for a kiss, ok?"

"Ok.  That thought never entered my head, but thanks for telling me."

"Mom?  Are you ready?  We really need to get going."

"Just a moment, I'll be right out."

"Ok!"

"Jake, it was really nice meeting you.  Keep in touch with us, ok?"

"Really?  Sure!"

"Umm Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm in a relationship, ok?  I just want us to be friends, nothing more."

"Oh, yeah….ok sure."

"Hey, don't get all gloomy on me.  Friends are valuable items!  You can't ever have to many friends."

"I know, I know."  Jake looked rather down for a minute, and then he brighten up and asked, "Could you give me your email addy?  I can email from the library."

"Sure!"  I took the paper and added my email to the list of stuff already on there.  "Here ya go."  "MOM!  Unless you want a big ugly scene with Tim we gotta roll and now!"

"Ok, ok.  Keep your shirt on, geez!  I'm ready."

Mom and I both gave Jake a hug good-bye and then I helped mom into the cab of the truck.  Traffic was starting to get rather thick, so we really couldn't talk much.  I pulled into the rental lot, parked and helped mom out of the truck.

"Are you ready?"

Mom had a gleam in her eye that I haven't seen in ages.  She grinned and said, "Let's drive sonny, let's drive!"

"Ok!"

I waited for a lull in the traffic and then, we were on our way!  We stopped at the same diner along the way that I had stopped in on the way to mom's.  We ordered dinner, and throughly enjoyed getting to know each other again.  Before we left, while mom was in the restroom, I called home to give them an update.  Abby said the spare room was clean and prettied up for mom. Could I get any luckier?  I sure don't see how!

Two hours later we pulled into our street.  I needed to park the truck in the driveway, so Ben had already moved all the cars and my truck around so everything would fit.  As soon as mom pulled into the driveway and shut the engine off, Abby and Ben were there to welcome her, which I'm sure help allay her fears of being in the way.  Ben and Abby greeted me with kisses and hugs.  I was kinda stiff at first kissing Ben in front of mom, but then relaxed, she was going to have to learn how to deal with seeing us affectionate anyway, what better time than the present?  Abby herded us all into the house.  Ohhhh something smelled wonderful!

"Abby? What's that fabulous smell?"

"Hahaha!  I made oatmeal raisin cookies.  I take it you like?"

"Like? No!  I love!  Give me a hug, you cookie maker you."

We sat at the table and had cookies.  Everyone else had their cookies with coffee,  I have no idea what's that about.  I mean cookies with coffee, sigh just stop trying to be an adult so hard, and just admit they taste so much better with milk!  I of course had my cookies with milk, a lot of milk, and a sandwich that somehow Ben knew I needed…. I think these people know me to well.  After chatting and eating, I couldn't stop yawning, large jaw cracking, eye watering yawns.  Everyone was getting a good laugh out of them, when I staggered up from the table kissed everyone goodnight, and stumbled off to bed.  I think that I vaguely remember Ben coming in, but I'm not 100% sure of that to be honest, it could have just been a dream.

Abby smiled as she watched my Derrick leave the room.  She turned to me saying, "You raised a very wonderful guy.  He is possibly the sweetest person I have ever known.  Even after every thing he has dealt with in the past, his heart is open, and surprisingly willing to trust."

"Hey!  What about me?  I thought I was sweet?"

"Oh, honey you are!  Now stop fishing for compliments and go tuck Derrick in."

"Ok."

Abby sat playing with the crumbs on her plate.  There was a rather wistful expression on her face, that I didn't quite understand.  "Are you really ok Olivia, with us, the way we live I mean?"

"Yes I am, and do you know why?"  Abby shook her head no, just as Ben came back into the room and sat down.  "Because I can tell you both honestly love my Derrick.  Each of you loves him differently, but you both love, love my son, and for me that's all I care about.  If he is happy and is treated with love and respect, whose business of it to say anything against it?  Not mine.  If he is happy, then I am as well."

"Whoa!  You are one special person.  Now I see where Derrick gets his giant heart from."

Abby reached over and patted Ben's hand.  He quickly ducked his head down, but not quick enough, he was trying hard not to cry.  Oh!  Derrick told me that his worthless parents only wanted "perfect" children and in their quest had lost both of their sons.  Grrr!  What in the hell is wrong with some people?  The sad bus stops here, now!

I slapped my hand down on the table, and in rather firm voice said, "Ben?  Look at me!"  He lifted his face that was overflowing with his grief of being tossed away like a used tissue.  "Pay attention to me.  Derrick told me that Abby just recently fixed things up with her mom.  Did you know that Derrick feels guilty about having me back in his life?  No?  Well, he does.  So, if you'll accept me, I would be proud to call you son.  Now come over here and let me hug my boy for a while, ok?"

Ben came around the table and sank into my open arms.  I held him so very tightly, and kissed to top of his head dozens of times.  At one point I felt Ben relax into me, and then the tears came tearing out of him.  I held and rocked him, and kissed him, and let his pool of grief drain, safe in my arms.  Abby looked rather helpless and left out.  I smiled at her and said, "He needs a mom, and I'm happy to take the job."  Ben slowly ran down, until finally his pool was empty.  He tried to pull away from me, but I wasn't having any of that, I needed to have my say now.  "Abby could you get me a warm wash cloth and a pile of tissues?  Thanks!"  I held him close until Abby came back.  "Ok pretty boy, sit up and blow your nose and let me wipe your face."  He pulled his tear stained face from my sodden shirt, and he started to look embarrassed, and that is just what I didn't want!  He blew his nose several times, and I started gently wiping his face while telling him, "Your parents are the ones who are to be pitied.  To throw away a perfectly wonderful son, for nothing more than being afraid of being whispered about. To chose their religion over their very own flesh and blood son, that is sad indeed.  But what you need to know, is that from now on, I'm your mom, ok?  I want you to tell me the stories of your childhood, I want to know everything about you.  From this point on, you are my son.  Crying is what we humans do, it shows we have a heart and are capable of love.  And from the depths your tears came tearing out of, I can tell that you have a very large heart.  Never be embarrassed about crying, understand?"

Ben nodded his head, and shakily got up to throw his tissues away.  He got a long drink of water, came back to the table sat down next to me, reached for my hand and said, "And now I understand where Derrick gets his boundless love from.  I would be proud to call you mom."

"Good!  Now, if you don't mind, I think it's my bed time."

"Of course!  Come on mom, we'll show you to your room."  Ben patted my hand after saying this, and went into the hallway to grab my luggage.  After leaving my luggage on the floor of the closet for me, they both gave me a hug, and then closed the door on their way out.  I looked around the room, that would be my new home for a while until I could find a job and get back on my feet again.  Abby had put a beautiful bouquet of white daisies on the dresser, what a wonderful way to make me feel welcomed.  I changed into my nightgown, brushed my teeth, and washed my face, and got my pillow out of the luggage.  

Laying down, and not moving for the first time since fairly early this morning, today began to wash over me.  Free!  I was free at last of Tim and even better was that I had my precious Derrick back.  For the millionth time I laid in a dark room questioning my staying with that heartless man.  All he loved was to control people, why oh why had I allowed him into my life?  Sighing at how lonely and weak I was at that point in time.  Then his strength and his will seemed like a godsend.  I was so tired of fighting along on my own.  Barely making it from paycheck to paycheck, and I truly thought that Derrick needed a dad, he seemed so perfect, at first.  It wasn't until later when his demands kept spiraling up and up and up, without any chance of Derrick ever meeting these impossible and constantly moving goals.  But after he caught Derrick with his boy friend life was never the same for my boy, and the light went out of his eyes, his joy for life just dried up.

Hot silent tears streaked from my eyes, why why why did I ever allow Tim to pull my Derrick away from me?  Trying to get a grip on myself, the knowledge that Derrick came back, he came back because he missed me, he loves me, still…….how on earth he didn't learn to despise me along with Tim, I'll never know, all that matters is that he came back, and cared enough to take me home with him!  What a nice couple Abby and Ben are!  It was rather odd seeing Derrick and Ben kiss though.  Derrick seemed rather worried about kissing Ben with me watching.  I've got to get a handle on this, the last thing I want is to dig a trench now when our relationship is still so new.

This bed is really very comfortable………    

Twinkle Twinkle, Little Star

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Posted on 3:38 PM | By Biki Honko | In

Olivia waited until she was very sure that Tim was indeed gone for the day.  And then she waited some more, until she was sure that Tim wasn't going to come in and surprise her.  Taking the hook from the  cupboard she fitted it into the latch on the ceiling, and pulled down the stairs.  Putting the hook safely aside, she climbed up into the attic, and started moving boxes around until she found the one she had hidden away.  There it was!  Childish handwriting proclaimed that the contents of this box were "chrismas ordaments".  Derrick had helped her label this box when he was 7, and so very proud of being able to read and write.

Picking up her treasured box she carried it over to an old kitchen chair and sat down with the box on her lap.  Running her hands over the box, she started crying with the grief of not even knowing if her Derrick was still alive.  Why was she so weak!?  Why did she let Tim push Derrick from her arms?  Why?  Drying her face with her sleeve and struggling to get some control back she opened her box, and fell back into the past as she lovingly pulled out and experienced each item in the box.

"Come back to me baby, please!"  Olivia shouted into the empty attic, as she collapsed into her grief.


Abby stood shocked and amazed at the sight of her mom standing in her driveway.  Mouth open, eyes wide, unable to process that she was, in fact, here.  By the time her wits had returned Ben and Derrick were flanking her, both had their arms around her, with a steely look in their faces.

"Well?  Are you going to invite me in, or not?"  Irene snapped.

"Umm sure mom, come on in."

As they entered the house, Derrick tried to pull away from me, but I wasn't allowing him to do that.  She could either accept my life, or not.  I wasn't planning on changing my life or actions to suit her, and if she couldn't deal with it, too damned bad!

"I'll go start the coffee."  Derrick took off towards the kitchen.  I plopped down on the center cushion of the sofa.  Ben warily sat next to me, ready to jump up to defend me if he had to, mom sat down in one of the chairs that was across from the sofa.  As Derrick came back into the room, I could tell he was under a great deal of stress, but he sat down next to me, and patted my knee in support.

"What do you want mom?  I thought you made it quite clear that you didn't want anything to do with me?"

At those words, Irene shocked us all, by breaking down into tears.  After sitting there stunned, for what seemed forever, but was most likely only a few seconds, I leapt to my feet and ran over to mom.  She pulled me down on the arm of the chair and held onto me like there was no tomorrow.  Relief washed over me.  My mom didn't hate me, and maybe could come to deal with our rather unusual lifestyle.

"I'm sorry!  Oh, I'm so very sorry!  I do want you in my life!"

Ben handed me a box of tissues, I pulled several and handed them to mom.  Ben was back with the bathroom wastebasket.  Mom cried for quite a long while, and the wastebasket slowly filled up, as the tissue box became lighter.  Finally stuttering and hiccuping, mom's tears started to abate, when Derrick handed her a cup of coffee.

Holding onto the warm cup with both hands, she looked up at him saying, "Thank you….Derrick."  Mom sat trying to get herself under control, sipping her coffee, wiping her eyes occasionally, and at one point handing me her cup so she could blow her nose.  

Ben and Derrick had sat in their usual position, Derricks arm along the back of the sofa, with Ben sitting next to him, under his arm.  Mom sat and sipped her coffee, and just looked around the room, finally resting her eyes on the sofa.

"Is that the way you two usually sit?"

Ben smiled and said, "Well, yes it is when there is just the two of us."

"Where do you sit honey?  Over here?"

"No mom, I sit with them.  We sit together."

"Do they always sit like that?"  Mom vaguely waved her hand at them.

"Sometimes they do, but not always.  I haven't been pushed out by Derrick if that's what you're worried about."

"Oh, ok if you say so."

"I do say so, mom.  I love them both, and they both love me."

"Irene, that's what I was trying to explain to you when I went over to your house.  I still love your daughter.  I'm in love with her.  I'm also in love with Derrick.  Yes, this is not the usual way things work, and we know that, but it works for us."

Derrick stood up and came over to my mom saying, "Mrs. Hansen, I'm Derrick Addison, pleased to meet you."  Not knowing if it would be taken or not, he held out his hand for her to shake.  Mom sat there for a bit, before extending her hand to take his.  Derrick flashed her his mega watt smile, as he gently shook hands with her.

"Well, you're mother should be very proud of herself.  She raised a very polite son."

"Yes, I had a wonderful mom.  I miss her every day."

"Oh?  When did she pass on?"

"Mom's not dead, she just wasn't strong enough to stand up to her new husband, and allowed him to force me out of the house."

"When was the last time you spoke to her?"

"I'm not sure, some time after graduation."  Derrick fell silent for a bit and then looked at Ben.  "Something else we both have in common, huh?"

"Yes.  Now I can tell you the truth Irene, I didn't lose my parents due to choice of colleges and careers which is what I originally told you. They caught me in bed with my boyfriend, and only allowed me to stay in their home until graduation day.  Which they didn't attend.  The last several months of high school were the hardest days of my life, because my parents acted like I didn't exist.  They wouldn't talk to me, wouldn't eat with me, wouldn't even stay in the same room as me.  I came home from graduation to a note on my bed telling me to be out of the house by the time they came back.  I had no place to live, no one to turn to, even my brother turned his back on me.  Yeah, I have a brother I never told you about.  But miracles of miracles I've got my brother back in my life, and I couldn't be happier."

Irene sat for a long while, holding her coffee cup, just holding it, with a far away look in her eyes.  We sat and gave her the space to work things out on her own.  Finally after quite a while she looked up at Ben and the sadness in her eyes was clear.

"Ben, I'm very sorry that I lashed out at you.  Will you forgive the horrid things I said to you?"

"Yes, Irene of course I'll forgive you.  As long as you accept us for who we are and how we have chosen to live."

"I'll try….it's going to be tough for me."

"Mom, we know how weird this must seem to you.  As long as you try to accept us, we will give you room to adjust."

"Mrs. Hansen, I want to assure you that while I did fall in love with Ben first, my love for Abby is no less than what I feel for Ben.  And if anything would happen to Ben, God forbid, I would take care of Abby for the rest of our lives.  It wouldn't be  burden to me either, but a labor of love."

"But, umm I thought Ben told me that you are ahh….gay?"

"Yeah, I am."

"But Abby is a woman."

Derrick smiled at my mom saying, "I did notice that a time or two.  My love for her transcends her gender.  It did cause me some confusion to be honest, but I realized that I love her, and what can be more important than that?"

"Do you umm…."  And then something I've never seen on my mom's face.  She was blushing!

Moving to rescue mom from having to complete that thought I said, "What we do in our bedroom is private mom, ok?  All that matters is that he loves me, and I love him."

"Ok…good….ok"

Derrick got up, smiled at me and disappeared into the bedroom, shortly returning dressed in shorts and a sleeveless tee shirt.  Giving all of his goofy grin he said, "Yeah,  I'm not really used to be all dressed up like that….so yeah."

"I like your thinking Derrick!"  And like a shot Ben peeled off to complete his own transformation into his weekend uniform of shorts and a tee shirt.

"Pfft!  Well if you two think I'm going to sit here all dressed up, you two have another think coming."  I came back in a pair of long loose shorts and a cotton sleeveless top.

Mom and I sat and caught up on things while Ben and Derrick started their weekend chore of lawn work.  At one point mom stopped talking and she had the oddest expression on her face.  Oh, Ben and Derrick had their arms around each others waist while gesturing with their other arms.  They are always coming up with one scheme or another to improve the back yard.  As they finished talking they gave each other a quick kiss and then went back to work.

"It's ok mom, they love each other."

Mom's face was bright red and I could tell she was very embarrassed having seen them being physical with each other.  It took a bit to get mom back on track, but she slowly started following the conversation as an active member again.  The guys finally finished the lawn work and came into the garage….oh shit!  I jumped up and ran into the bedroom to grab up their robes, and flew down the hall to the door leading to the garage.  They were both in the middle of putting their clothes back on, with rueful expressions on their faces.

"Yeah…we forgot your mom was here, sorry!"

"It's ok, put your robes on.  Hand me your stuff and I'll drop it in the washer."

"Umm no…..I'll put my stuff back on, ok Abby.  I'm not ready to have your mom see me in a robe."

"I agree with Derrick.  It just feels….wrong.  Ya know?"

"Yeah, I do."

"What was that all about?"  Mom asked me when I came back into the living room.

"They usually just walk thru in their boxers."

"Oh!  I'm very glad you stopped them then."

"Well, they remembered just in time."

"Good!"

Two very embarrassed fellas walked through the living room, and into our bedroom.  As the shower kicked on Mom got a funny look on her face.  Keeping mom from having to ask I just told her, "Yes, they do shower together.  I shower with Ben quite often, didn't you and daddy shower together?"  Which got me a second blush!  Whoa!  Who knew that mom was so shy about sex?

"Ahh, yes, well, umm sometimes…we did….I mean ahh…"

"It's ok mom.  I know you and daddy had sex, its ok."  And for that, I won blush number three!

Ben saved the day, when he plopped down into the chair next to mom, and pulled me onto his lap. "So how does shrimp cooked on the grill sound for supper?  I found a recipe that sounds really easy."

"That sounds delicious!  Where's the recipe?"

"Derrick?  Could you bring me that shrimp recipe we found please?"  Derrick had continued on into the kitchen after his shower, I'm sure he had to be hungry by now.

There were some odd sounds coming from the kitchen, and then here came Derrick carrying a book in one hand, and a giant sandwich in the other.  Dropping the book onto the coffee table he used one hand to flick through the pages while the other one held that oversized sandwich.  He sat completely absorbed in finding the recipe and eating.  Finally finding it, he crammed the last of his sandwich into his mouth and stood up and handed the book to me and pointed at the recipe he wanted.  I glanced at the recipe and agreed with them that yes it did look like a good recipe.  Derrick got a paper and pencil and we worked over the amounts of things we needed to make supper.  When the ingredients for garlic bread came up I knew that the guys were going to make supper.

"I'll make the run to the store, ok?  Let me grab my wallet and the household card.  Ben, will you start the rice please?"

"Sure, no worries."

With a grin to all of us, Derrick was out the door, then right back in.  "Yeah forgot the list and the bags!"

With the sound of all of us laughing Derrick left.

"Ok sunshine, you heard the boss.  I need to make the rice, so up you get."

"Nope!"

"I can get you off my lap and you know it.  I'll tickle you!"

With a squeal I jumped off his lap, with him chuckling at me, "Told ya I could get you up!"

Ben went into the kitchen to start working on dinner.  Mom had a new funny look on her face at the fact that Ben, yes Ben was cooking!  He uncovered the grill and got it going.  Filled the rice cooker, and pressed the button which played "Twinkle twinkle little star", which always made me giggle.  The idea of a rice cooker playing a children's song, just struck me as funny, every single time!  Yeah, I'm really that easy.  Before long Derrick was back and the cooking started in ernest.  They asked a few questions, and a few times I had to go and look at something they were concerned about, but on the whole they managed dinner on their own.  And when it came time for Derrick to make the garlic bread, I made damned sure that mom watched.  She found it as cute and as endearing as I do, the way he kneels in front of the broiler .  As the day drifted into evening mom became much more relaxed, and started laughing, and teasing and chatting along with all of us.  Dinner was a success, the shrimp were fabulous, only next time we need to buy more shrimp!  I noticed that as the evening wore on Derrick seemed a bit….off.  I wonder what is bothering him?  Oh, well after mom leaves Ben and I will worm it out of him, no worries about that.  As mom was getting ready to leave, you could tell she was unsure of how to leave, with just a goodbye, or a hug?  So, Ben pushed the issue a bit, and reached out and gave her a hug.  She stiffened in his arms for a brief moment, before she hugged him back.  Derrick played it safe and just patted her shoulder.

I walked mom out to her car, and we stood for a few minutes in awkward silence.

"Mom?  I know this is hard for you to accept.  Thank you for trying, it really means a great deal to me.. to us."  I gave my mom a very large hug, and started to cry.  "I missed you so much mom!  Please, please don't shut me out again!"

"I wont!  This is going to be hard for me to get used to….but I promise to at least try."

"Mom, you might as well know every thing all at once.  We are going to have a wedding ceremony, the three of us.  We don't want Derrick to feel like a tacked on extra.  It's very important to us.  Will you come? And…….umm we are going to start trying soon to have a baby."

"Really!  I'm finally going to be a grandmother!  Whoopee!"

"Yup!  Umm….. mom?"

"Yes?"

"I…we…we……… Ok there's no easy way to say this to make it easier for you to swallow, but both Ben and Derrick are going to be fathers.  Can you accept that?"

"Abby?  Does this mean that you and Derrick….?"

"Yes, it does."

"Oh."  Mom fell silent for a bit, and just as I was about to say something, mom continued, "Are you going to wear the same gown?"

Her abrupt topic change took me by surprise, so it took me a few beats to catch up as to what she was talking about.  "No, I'm not.  In fact, I've already purchased the gown."

"It won't be a legal marriage, correct?"

"Correct.  No one allows multiples to marry.  This is a marriage of the heart mom."

"Are you staying legally married to Ben?"

"Yes."

"Ok, that's good then."  Mom reached out and pulled me to her into a giant hug, that lasted for a very long time.  When she finally pulled back she had tears in her eyes.  "All I want is for you to be happy.  I hate to see you get hurt, and this really worries me that you will end up alone.  I'm still concerned that Ben will leave you for Derrick."

"It could happen, we never know what the future will bring.  But for now, we are happy together.  What you need to understand is that Ben was going to leave me, he couldn't live a lie any longer.  So, if I hadn't pushed him into finding and bringing someone home, he would already be gone by now.  Ben didn't want to hurt me, he was going to leave so that I could find someone that would be happy with just me, he thought I deserved someone better.  Ben didn't push me into this mom, ok?  I pushed him into finding someone, and while I didn't expect him to fall in love so quickly, him doing so threw me for a loop to be honest with you, Ben has never been so happy, ever.  Didn't you notice the difference in him?"

"Yes, I have to admit he seemed much happier, more I don't know, at peace maybe?"

"Well part of that is that he can finally be truthful to you.  It hurt him so badly to have to lie to you all those years.  But yes he is happier, I'm happier.  Now that my eyes have been opened I realize how unhappy Ben had been for a very long time, which caused me to pull away from him.  Things would not have lasted much longer between us."

"Oh.  Ok.  Well you would know."  Mom stood there with a thoughtful expression on her face, and then roused herself saying, "I'm tired and am going home.  I'm going to try, it's just going to take me awhile to come to terms with this.  But you are so very important to me, I don't want to take the chance of losing you.  Give me a hug and a kiss to go."

"Sure mom, any time."  I gave her a huge hug, and kissed her cheek. "Bye mom!"

"Bye honey."  Mom got into her car and drove away.  I stood there for a few minutes enjoying the peace patching things up with mom had brought me, a giant weight had fallen away when I knew my mom still loved me.

As I stepped into the house I heard Ben's voice say, "Are you sure you'll be safe?  Didn't you say he kept guns in the house?"  I froze and stood quietly so as not to interrupt them.

"I'll make sure he's gone for the day before I go in.  I promise you that I'll be careful.  It's something that I have to do, I need you to support me on this, yeah?"

A big sigh from Ben before he continued, "Yeah, I understand. I love you and want you be safe, that's all, ok?"

"It's very ok."

I heard kissing, so what ever they were talking about was finished, and I felt that it was ok to intrude now.  Stepping into the living room I asked, "Ok what's going on?  Where are you going that's not safe?"

"I'm going to go visit my mom.  Tonight really brought home how much I miss her, how much I want her back in my life.  If I have a baby, I want her to be part of their life."

"Yes!  I agree.  Are you even sure she still lives in the same place?"  I gave Derrick a hug and a kiss.

"Yeah, I check periodically.  So, I'll leave early in the morning, and I'm not real sure what time I'll be home.  I'l call and let you know when I'm leaving mom's ok?"

Ben smiled and pulled him in for a tighter hug,  "All I want, all we want is for you to be happy and safe.  Am I right Abby?"

"Of course!  If you need us, call us and we will come running."

"I love you both so much."

"Good!  Now, I'm going to soak in a hot tub before going to bed.  You two I'm sure will think of something to keep yourselves busy."

"Nite sweetie, sleep well!" Ben pulled me into his arms for a loving hug and a soft kiss.  Sigh, to bad I'm beat cause he certainly spiked a bit of interest there….

"Sleep well Abby, and I'll call if I need reinforcements."  I got a gentle hug and a kiss from Derrick.


When the clock rang me out of sleep, I was at first confused as to why I was awake this early on a Monday, my usual day off.  Then I remembered that today was the day I was going to go see my mom. Mom!  I carefully slid out of bed, no reason to wake either of them up this early.  Showered, shaved and dressed, and ready to go!  I made a quick breakfast and drank a cup of coffee.  And the longer I sat there the more worried I got…..what if she didn't want to see me??  No!  I'm not going to second guess myself on this.  I'm going and if she doesn't want me around, then at least I gave it one last honest try.  I poured the rest of the coffee in my travel mug, all sweetened and full of milk, just as I like it.  Then quickly reloaded the coffee maker for Ben and Abby.  And before I could change my mind, I picked up my keys and my coffee and was out the door, and headed for both my past and my future.

For a while the busy roads took a lot of my attention, but as I cleared the city, the traffic became lighter and my mind had some lea way to wander.  I wonder if I'll recognize her?  Surely she couldn't have changed that much, it hasn't been that long….I hope she will recognize me!  Ohh, I hope she still loves me.  Still wants me.  Sighing a long rough breath, trying to fight back the tears, the fear of being unwanted by mom.

I checked the clock, it was only 9 am, I'm worried that I was going to be early, to early for him to be gone yet.  That is if he still worked at the same job….hmm.  I'll pull over into some diner and have a snack or something to make sure.  The last person I want to see today is Tim.  I found a diner that was full and busy, ok that should be a good sign, yeah?  It was a very good sign, the place was super clean, the coffee fresh and hot, and the doughnuts were excellent.  After a quick trip to the rest room, I was ready to go.  It was almost 10 am, he should be long gone by now.

As I made the last turn into our subdivision, my stomach started doing evil things to me.  I thought at one moment I was going to vomit, but I managed to fight the feeling back, successful at least for now.  I cruised by the house very slowly, the only car under the carport was moms.  I was shocked to see that mom was still driving that old beater.  It was old when I was a kid…. that was the last car dad had bought before he died.  Wow, so many memories.  Ok, well things look safe enough, as I rounded the block again, I pulled in a big breath, and let it out slowly, and parked at the curb.  I sat for a moment drawing my courage around me.  The knowledge that back at home were two people who really loved me, helped me to get out of the car and up the walk, and ring the bell.  It seemed to take forever, it seemed to be to fast for there to be footsteps approaching the door.  I heard the deadbolt turn and then the door opened and there stood mom.  She looked older and so much smaller to me, and then a flash of recognition exploded in my mom's face and she leaped at me.

"Derrick?? Oh God!  It is you!!  Oh!! Baby I've missed you!!"

I had my arms around mom, she was tight against me holding me as if I were nothing but a mirage.  Mom was crying and holding onto me so tightly she surprised me with her strength.

"Come in!"  And saying that she tugged me into the house and slammed the door shut with her foot.  She towed me into the kitchen and pushed me into a chair.  She stood in front of me, looking at me, running her finger tips lightly over my face, as tears silently ran down her face.  "Where have you been?  Are you hungry?  I'm so sorry I let Tim push you out of my life.  Will you forgive me?  I guess you have cause you're here now.  Oh!"

"Mom, mom, it's ok, it's ok.  I'm here now.  I missed you so much, that I had to take the chance to come and see you.  I was worried that you didn't love me, but I had to find out.  I forgave you a long time ago."

We sat in the kitchen for a long time going over old stuff that we had never dealt with before.  The day grew hotter and mom pulled her sweater off, and her shirt sleeve rucked up and i saw that the inside of her arm was covered in bruises.  The imprint of fingers was bruised onto her flesh!  Oh, now that I was gone, he was beating up my mom!  How dare he!

"MOM! Has Tim been hurting you?"  I moved towards her quickly and she flinched away from me.  "Mom, mom, mom!  I would never hurt you!  Oh, god!  I'm so sorry that I left you with that monster!"

"No, it's not your fault.  I should have left him when he first hit you.  But I was weak and so tired of being alone."

"Mom, you're coming home with me, today!  I'm not going to take no either.  I'll run and pick up some boxes and we'll get you packed up."

"Honey, I can't impose on you like that!"

"It's not imposing mom!"  I pulled my cell phone out and debated on who to call first……Ben.  She didn't have an issue with me being gay, I'll spring Abby on her later…sigh I hope she will be able to understand our situation..

"Ben?  Hey, I'm bringing mom home with me. Yeah, Tim's beating her, no way am I leaving her here.  She worried that she will be imposing on us.  Can you talk to her please?  Sure."

"Mom?  This is Ben, talk to him."

"Hi?  Ok, uh huh.  But you…ok.  Yes, I see.  If you're sure then.  See you soon."

"Derrick, Ben wants to talk to you."

"Hi.  Good!  I'm kinda worried about that myself actually.  Well, time will tell, huh?  Ok, got a ton of stuff to do, gotta go.  Love you too.  Bye!"

"Ok mom, are you satisfied?  Now you know that Ben wants you to stay with us."

"Yes, yes.  But what are you worried about telling me?"

"Don't worry about it now, ok?  Let's just get you packed up.  Do you want to take your car?"

"Take my car?  Of course I want my car!  How would I get around?  I don't want to be a burden on the two of you."

Realizing that I had to tell mom the truth before I got her home, I sat her down and told her the entire truth.  She sat shocked for a moment or two and then asked me, "Do you love them both?  Do they treat you well?"

"Yes mom, I love them both.  I love Ben in a romantic way, and Abby more in a sisterly way.  They treat me so very very well.  When I was injured at work earlier this year, they both rushed from work to come and be with me.  The pampered me, and catered to my every whim and desire, until I was completely healed."

"That's good enough for me then.  If they love you, and treat you right, then how could it be wrong?  There isn't enough love in the world if you ask me.  Love doesn't always fit into neat little packages, that everyone one will enjoy either.  If you are happy, then I'm happy."

I thought my heart would burst apart hearing mom say that to me.

Brats, Beer and Bed

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Posted on 3:38 PM | By Biki Honko | In

"Hello!  My name is Celeste. How may I help you?"  She was a tall woman, dressed all in black, which seemed to me a rather odd color for the sales persons to wear at a bridal shop.

"Umm, I'm just looking around right now."

"When is your wedding date?"

"Oh!  We umm haven't chosen one yet."  The sales lady looked down at my hand and saw the engagement ring on my finger and her look eased.  I hurried to say, "Yeah, we just decided to get married recently, and just haven't chosen a date yet.  But mostly likely in the late fall or early winter."

"That doesn't give you much time.  Would you like to try on a few gowns today?"

And just like that, I mean her question was perfectly normal and usual, but the thought of what I was about to do, hit home.  I was going to have a ceremony and marry Derrick.  Ok, ok, it's not like it's legal or anything, but we ARE going to pledge our love and support to each other, in reality it will be a true marriage, with the three of us.  My face must have lost color, or I looked kinda off, because suddenly I had people helping me to a chair, and a glass of water was pressed into my hand.

"Ah, reality just hit home.  It happens to a brides all the time, nothing to be embarrassed about!  I'll let you sit here with your friends and regroup."

"Lisa!  What am I doing?  I mean really, can I do this?  Can we do this?  OMG!  What am I thinking of doing?"

"Shhh, it's ok!  You don't have to do this right now.  It was just a suggestion that's all!"

"No, no you two were very right.  We need to make Derrick feel like he belongs with us, just not a tacked on third wheel.  Having a wedding will show Derrick that we do love him, and want him.  It's just….scary."

I stood up and instantly the sales lady scurried over, "Have you decided if you want to look at gowns today?"

"Yes, I would."

"Do you have a price point in mind?"

"Ahh, I guess around $2,000 or so I guess."

"Do you have a style in mind?"  
"Oh!  Umm, something very non traditional would be best I think."

"Can you clarify a bit more please?"

"Umm, well….. something very modern I think.  No big pouffy dresses, or with any beading, no lace.  Simple in style i think would be better."

"If you would follow me, I think I know a few dresses that would fit the parameters that you have given me."

The three of us followed the sales lady like little duckings, over to a rack that had several dresses on it.  She turned the hangers on the rail to better showcase the dresses.  A few of them were instant no's.  And then she pulled out a dress that screamed to me 'Try me on!'

"I would like to try on this one please."

"Very good, please follow me to the dressing room."  She turned to Lisa and Nicki saying, "You ladies may sit here and wait for us to return."

And just like that we were off to the dressing room, my heart was in the throat the whole time, thinking how different I felt this time than the last time I was was trying on wedding dresses.  Then I was giddy, and bubbling over with excitement.  Now, the feeling was more in the line of…….uncertainty.  I had grown to love Derrick, and recently the thought of having sex with him had entered my mind.  He was sexy as hellz, and had a build on him that was nothing short of breathtaking.  But, I know he didn't have any sexual interest with me, or does he?  I know there have been a few kisses between us that have bordered on, well steamy.  Which made Ben glow with happiness.  Is there something that hubby-of-mine isn't telling me?  Was Derrick possibly interested in having sex with me?  Whoa!  That puts a whole new spin on things!  It was then that I realized that the sales lady was speaking to me.

"I'm sorry, I seemed to have wandered off mentally for a minute.  What did you say?"

Celeste smiled at me saying, "That's a very common thing for brides to do.  I asked you how long have you known your fiancee?"

"Umm, around 4 months."

"Love at first sight then, yeah?"

Thinking of how Ben had come home totally besotted with Derrick, I answered, "Yes, it was love at first sight.  We have been together almost continually since then."  Only the truth, not a single lie in the whole sentence!

"This dress fits you like a glove!  I don't think it will require any tailoring."

As she finished  doing up the back of the dress, I gathered up my brave to look at me in the mirror, and was stunned at my reflection.  I looked……beautiful.  I've never thought that I was very pretty, no matter what Ben tells me, but in this dress, it was as if I was looking at an enhanced version of myself.  I just stood there, looking at my reflection, rather taken aback at what I was seeing.  My mother had pretty much chosen my wedding dress the last time, and it wasn't really me, but this, this was me.

"From the look on your face this is your gown."

"I'm in shock!  I feel like a bride in this!  It……it…..wow!"

Celeste broke into giggles saying, "Yes, I would say it is your dress.  Shall we show your friends?"

"Yes!!!"  And at that, Celeste opened the door to the dressing room, and off we went to show Lisa and Nicki.  As I rounded the corner, a huge gasp came from both Lisa and Nicki, they jumped off the sofa and surrounded me, chattering and crying.  Lisa kept patting me on the cheek, as she wiped her tears with her other hand.  Nicki handed me several tissues, because for some unknown reason I was crying!  Crying!  Over a dress!  Me!

After we stood there for a while crying and looking at me in the large mirror, Celeste asked me if I wanted to purchase this dress.  'I mean really?  Was she certifiable or what?  Of course I wanted to buy this dress!'  But very calmly I responded, "Yes, I do believe I want this dress."

Back into the dressing room to take off the dress, and I felt a little pang of sadness in having to remove the dress.  I had never felt about a dress this way before.  My other wedding dress while very pretty was so not my style, it was covered in beads, and lace and was very ornate, with a huge pouffy skirt.  I felt like a wedding cake topper in that dress.  But this dress is me, and I think it will reflect both Ben and Derrick as well.

Celeste put the gown into a bag and I wrote the check out for $2,499.00.  Yes, it was more than I was planning on spending, but that dress was worth it!  I flew out of the salon, my feet barely touching the ground, when a thought wiggled it's way past the gown euphoria, I guess it's up to me to propose!

"Well, our very nontraditional lives are going to be even more nontraditional this evening."

Lisa gave me a funny sideways look asking, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, I guess it's going to be me that is going to do the proposing.  Do you think I need a ring for that?"

Lisa and Nicki almost fell down laughing at me.  I just stopped and let them wind down from their laughing fit, and every time I would open my mouth to say something, off they would go again!  Giving up on getting any reasonable conversation out of them, I just walked away.  Hmm, I could take them out to eat, someplace all swanky and romantic and propose to them.  Or, I could just order a raft of pizza and have a keg of beer handy and slip my proposal in between slices and gulps.  'Mommy tell me how you asked Daddies to marry you.  Well, they had both eaten around 2 pizzas and had a nice buzz on from all of the beer they drank…'  Yeah that sounded real romantic!  Sighing and shaking my head I decided to let my wedding gown euphoria fade for a few days and then see whats what, who knows maybe some opportune moment will present itself to me.

On the way home I asked Lisa, "Would you mind keeping the dress at your home?  Nicki I would ask you but if Alex found it he might spill the beans to Ben before I'm ready for him to know."

"Oh!  I wouldn't want the dress at my house, Alex would find it to be sure, and he'd forget and say something to Ben about it."

"Sure, no problem with me keeping the dress at my place.  I just hope when my mom comes to visit she doesn't find it and jump to conclusions."  Lisa shuddered just thinking about having to explain to her mom that no she still hadn't found the 'one' to spend the rest of her days with. "Speaking of moms, what are you going to do about your mom?  You have any intention of patching things up with her, or are things between the two of you broken for good?"

"No." I sighed, "Things aren't broken for good, at least not on my side.  I just really needed some space to let my feelings cool down enough to talk to her.  Before now I might have just punched her.  But the wedding thing might just set her off again, so we will see."

"Well, I wish you the best of luck.  You know Ben's parents haven't softened up towards him after all these years, hopefully your mom is smarter than that.  When I married Alex, his parents seemed so nice, when they threw Ben out and never relented it totally changed my feelings towards them.  After Alex grew up and realized what he had done, he'd tried to talk to his parents about Ben and they would get up and leave if they were at our home!  Both of them would just stand up and walk out."

"I hate to ask this, but have you seen them recently?  If Ben were to go in person, would that change anything?"

"Abby, I would love to tell you they are just waiting for him to walk in and that everything would be just fine.  If they knew that he was married to a woman, that might soften them up, but now with Derrick in the picture and you too, don't even try.  It sounds harsh and I know it, but really just save Ben the heartache, ok?"

Sighing again for the millionth time about how Ben's parents just threw him away when he didn't conform to their standard of acceptable behavior.  And now my mom has to be added to that list of parents who throw their children away when they deviate from the accepted script. "Yeah, I hate it when he thinks about them, he will be down for days, and nothing anyone can say to him makes the least bit of difference.  He just has to work it out on his own.  I wonder if Derrick's mom will come to the wedding?  I know her husband is a real bastard, but maybe she isn't with him any longer?  It couldn't hurt to send an invitation, yeah?"

"Yeah, it's not like they have a close relationship now, so how on earth could it hurt?  I would sent one and see what happens.  Pffft!  I would send one along to Ben's parents as well.  Like how on earth could it ever make things worse?  And it might be kinda fun to poke at them and get them all stirred up!"  Nicki had a very mischievous look on her face,  I will have to remember to watch this one, she can be full of the devil!

"So, I wonder who we should invite?  There are several people at both Ben's and my work that are out and most everyone is cool about it.  We used to have over a bunch of people from our work in the summers for cook outs, with Derrick in the mix we just haven't felt very comfortable about it.  Hmm, it sounds like the first plan of attack is to start having parties again."

Lisa cleared her throat and said, "Well, umm the thing is, being gay or lesbian is more understood than this will be.  So, don't expect everyone to greet you with open arms, ok?  I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Oh, I know!  We are definitely out of the norm being a triplet.  There will be a whole lot of people who I'm sure that we think of as our friends, that won't be when they find out.  I just hope it wont cause issues with us at work…..sigh."

"Do you think it would come to that?"  Nicki  asked with a  worried look on her face.

"It might, I don't know.  We will just have to see how this plays out I guess, and be cautious about who we tell."

When we got back to my house the guys were all out on the patio drinking beer and grilling brats and burgers.  Oh the smell was heavenly!  I kept catching glances that my two fellas kept sliding back and forth with each other.  Ok, there was mischief afoot to be sure, but what I had no idea.  The look on Ben's face was one I don't think I've ever seen before.  Derrick wouldn't meet my eyes at all, huh…. I wonder how easy he will be to pry this out of him?  Ben is a total vault when it comes to secrets, he never lets any thing slip.  ………..sigh………I do so hate secrets, unless I'm privy to them!

I usually am not a beer drinker but there isn't any thing better than a big juicy brat with onions on a poppy seed roll with a cold dark bitter beer.  As the night wore on Rich and Lisa seemed to be getting rather friendly, hmm….. is there a romance brewing between those two?  Cool!  Rich is a super nice guy, and Lisa is the best ever.  I think they would mesh really well.

All to soon it was time for everyone to go home, I hated to see them go, we had such a good time tonight.  The night was one of those perfect evenings, it had cooled down a bit, but the sky was clear and the moon was full and was bathing the back yard in enough light that we turned off the patio lights.  Ben sat down next to Derrick on the love seat, and Derrick pulled me down to sit on them both.  I had a pretty good buzz going and the thought that had been pinging around in my head all afternoon about having sex with Derrick popped back into the front of my mind.  Turning my head towards Derrick I proceeded to give things a try, and to see if I could get a rise out of him. At first he was very hesitant with me, and then he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in tighter and intensified the kiss until we were really making out.  Whoa!  I felt Ben reach around me, and ran his hands under my shirt, unhooked my bra and he started playing with my nipples, which always fired me up .  Feeling rather brave, I dropped my hand from his neck down to his crotch, he was hard!  I started rubbing his dick through his pants, he seemed to be enjoying me rubbing him from the noises he was making.  Suddenly I was being lifted into his lap, and his thighs tensed as he gathered himself to stand up holding me in his arms.  Derrick slowly let me slip down to the patio flagging, Ben grabbed both of our hands and pulled us into the house and down the hall into our bedroom. Both of them began working me and themselves out of our clothing.  Ben was kissing me, kissing Derrick, and then for a brief moment there were no hands on me, and I stood there swaying drunk on desire.  Ben was hastily stripping the bed of all the blankets and the top sheet and then they were pulling me down on the bed with them.

I was pulled up on top of Derrick on my knees with my thighs spread and Ben came up behind me tonguing me and stroking Derrick.  I was still madly kissing Derrick, ohhhh!  Ben started rimming me and I felt Derricks dick slip into me as Ben kept rimming me.  And then I felt cold up against my pucker and felt a finger go in.  Ben's going to fuck me the same time as Derrick?  I felt Ben slowly carefully slip inch by inch in, and then they both paused letting me adjust to the both of them being inside me.  And then Ben slowly pulled out of me, and Derrick pushed in!  From that point on I don't think I had a conscious thought, I was totally blissed out with sex.  When my orgasm came I don't think that I had ever had one that strong or that long.  Ben came first and Derrick shortly followed.  I collapsed onto Derrick's chest, both of us breathing heavily, totally covered in sweat, what portion was my own I couldn't say.  Ben was laying next to us, covered in sweat and panting .  Wow!  I could get used to this!  If this was to be a taste of what having Derrick in our lives, I was all for it!  I slid off of Derrick to snuggle between them, warm, sated and feeling very much loved.

Ben started quietly laughing, I was wondering why he would be laughing now.  Before I could ask him Ben said, "Well!  What a way to lose your virginity Derrick.  I wonder how many people have lost their cherry in a three way?"

"Wait, what?  You've never ever had sex with a girl before?"

"Umm, no……you were my first"

"Whoa!  Really?"

"Yeah."

"Tell her the truth Derrick."

"Truth?"  I turned my head to look at Derrick, who looked really uncomfortable, and I have a hunch that if it wasn't so dark in the room, I would be able to see him blushing a bright red.

"Ahh….well….umm….you are the first girl I've ever kissed."

"Whoa!"  I laid there all safe and happy when a wiggling though started squirming through my thoughts…….hmm.  "Soo, does that mean your not gay after all, but bi like Ben?"

"No, I don't think so. I think it's that………that…..I've fallen in love with you…..ahh yeah."

"Honestly?  Cool!  You know what?  I've fallen in love with you too!"

"Don't tease me Abby."

"I'm not!"  I wiggled around so that I was sitting, ugh!  I was going to need a shower and soon, but first things needed to be cleared up.  "Would you like to know what I bought today?"  I sat and waited for them to think of what I could have bought that would have any relevance to our topic at hand. As usual when I went off on a tangent they were totally lost so I decided to enlighten them by saying,  "Today I bought a wedding gown, so that we could have a ceremony celebrating our love for each other."

Ben and Derrick burst out laughing, and now I was the one confused.  They both reached out and pulled me down between them again Ben kissed the top of my head saying, "Dearest, why we are laughing our heads off is that we decided to ask if you would marry the two of us.  And the sex was supposed to let you know how Derrick felt about you, but once again you are ahead of us."

Ah!  Now I knew what the looks meant that they kept shooting between each other earlier in the evening.  Ok, and that's why Derrick couldn't meet my eyes, he was worried and shy.  Sighing with happiness I just enjoyed being snuggled in between the two, when I just had to ask a question, "So, does this mean we will never have sex as a twosome, in any combination?"

Ben hugged me closer, and Derrick snuggled up tighter against me, and Ben said, "No, I for one don't want to give up concentrating on just one partner at a time.  Derrick do you feel the same way too?"

"Yeah.  Umm…….Abby?  While I enjoyed what we just did……I don't know how often I'll want to make love with you, is that ok?  Ahh……what I mean is that I really enjoyed it, but I still prefer having sex with Ben………are you……are you….mad at me now?"

"Mad?  Me?  At you?  Nope not one little bit!  Really, ok?  Honestly."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, no worries, yeah?"

A big whole body sigh came from Derrick.  Ok, I made one boy really happy tonight!  He kissed the back of my neck, and he ran his hand up and down Ben's back, while Ben was caressing Derrick's thigh and ass and kissing me softly.  This felt so….so…..right?  I know the average person would think we are sick, and possibly even depraved.  But how can love ever be wrong?


Umm, it's so nice to relax for a few minutes before getting up, so different from the way I have to do during the work week.  Then the alarm jumps me out of bed running and I don't seem to come to a rest until I'm in the shower scrubbing off the dirt and grime from the mine.  I rolled over and snuggled up against Ben pushing my dick into the crack of his ass.  Umm, I wonder if we will get a chance to play today?  Wow, that was something last night!  I never thought I would ever want to have sex with a woman, ever!  I don't think it's going to be something that I do very often, it was enjoyable and all, but just not…..what…? I'm not really sure, just that while it had been really hot and all yet some thing was missing, what I have no idea.  I had finally gotten up the nerve to talk to Ben about my confusion about wanting to have sex with Abby.  He understood my feelings or rather the swirl of emotions that no matter how I held them up to the light, just wouldn't come into any sort of a recognizable pattern for me.  He was right on the money when he told me it was the love i felt for Abby that was giving me sexual thoughts about her.  Some times Ben can sure be a little shit!  To lay there and chuckle about me losing my virginity in a three way, sheesh!  But, I mean like how hot was last night?  I could feel Ben's dick through Abby, so it was like I was having sex with him as well….mmmm, and now I'm really horny.  I wonder how Ben would take to being woke up for a little play time? Just as this thought floated by, I felt Ben push back against me, hey!  It looks like its play time after all!  We quietly slipped out of bed, and into the guest room, so as not to wake Abby, she does enjoy sleeping late on the weekends.

Laying in bed and cuddling after sex is something I really enjoy.  For me, the cuddling changes it from just plain scratching an itch sex, to sharing love with each other.  I know a lot of guys don't, and drift off to sleep right after they cum, so I was glad to find out that Ben enjoyed cuddling as much as I do.

We were softly kissing, and lightly caressing each other when Ben pulled slightly away from me to say,  "That Abby!  I swear in all the time I've know her, she has always been one step ahead of me.  What do you think about her buying a wedding gown?"

I searched his face to see what he was really feeling, and I only saw love in his eyes, I kissed him softly and deeply and then responded, "She sure does take the cake.  She pushed you out of the house to get some 'man love' and then pushed us both to have me move in, and now she more or less proposed to us both!"

"Ha ha ha!  That's my wife!  Never underestimate her, cause it will bite you in the butt every time!  Seriously though, how do you feel about getting married, to us?"

"I love you, and want to spend the rest of my days with you, I thought you understood that."

"No, no I do know you love me."  Ben kissed me then asked, "Abby?  Do you love her enough to marry her?"

"Yes, I do love her, a great deal.  Just differently than I love you.  Before last night I would have said I love her like a sister, but now?  Umm, I don't know how to classify it, all I do know, is that I love her."

"Derrick?  If something were to happen to me, would you stay with her?"

"Of course!  I couldn't leave her alone, we could comfort each other.  What brought that up?"

"Oh, nothing really, just idle curiosity I guess."  About that time my stomach rumbled loudly and Ben starting laughing.  Why my being hungry was fodder for laughter with everyone is totally beyond me.  "It sounds like someone is complaining about the delay of breakfast.  What time is it anyway?"

I lifted my head to see the clock, "Nine thirty, why?"

"Go grab a quick snack, then we'll shower, and get Miss Sleepy Head out of bed and go to brunch, sound good?"

"Oh yeah!"  And like a shot I was out of bed and making a bee line for the kitchen!  Brunch!  I love brunch!  Its the best of both worlds, breakfast and dinner all on one plate!  What's not to love?  I toasted two waffles and fried an egg to sandwich in-between them, and added a dollop of syrup, ummm heaven!  I carried my snack back to the guest room where Ben was sitting on the bed looking at something on his phone.  "What's ya doing?"  I plopped down next to him still chewing my way through my waffle-wich.

"Looking at the calendar for a date for the wedding."  At that he looked up at me, and wrinkled his face up, the egg yolk was leaking out from the waffle along with the syrup, and I was busily licking the drips up between bites.  "What in the hell are you eating?"

"Umm a waffle-wich.  Wanna bite?"

"Waffle-wich?"

"Yeah a waffle sandwich with a fried egg, why?"

"I swear you eat the weirdest things!"

"Yup!  And you know you love it!"

"I don't know about that, but I do know I love you.  And if you weren't eating that disgusting wich thing, I would kiss you.  Oh what the hell, kiss me anyway."  After a few kisses Ben sighed and said, "Ok, ok, if it's anything like whats on your lips its pretty good."

"Ha ha!  Score!"

We showered and got sleepy miss out of bed, and ready to go.  Ben who I swear is more organized that any other person I'd ever met, had called ahead for reservations for brunch.  He said it would help push Abby along, he was right as usual.  I'm going to have to be careful so that he doesn't know how right he is all the time!  He could get a really big head from that.

I hadn't ever been to this restaurant before, it was in one of the large downtown hotels and from what Ben and Abby were saying, it was known for serving the best brunch, and in a large city that was saying something, or so they told said.  I was rather surprised to find that I had to dress up for brunch, now that was a first!  The surroundings were very elegant, and I felt very out of place.  I mean get real, I'm a welder from Smalltown USA, I bet most of these people were doctors and lawyers and such.

Abby must have noticed my unease because she leaned into me and whispered, "Derrick honey, look around you, your clothing is just as nice as theirs, the only difference is that you look miles better in yours!  And welding is just as good as being a so called professional, you understand?  Now you hold your head up, and be proud of who you are."

"Really?"

"Yes, really.  Now calm down and act like you belong here, because you do, ok?"

"I'll try, yeah."  Ben overheard our little exchange and winked and smiled.  We were shown to our table and as we followed the host, I noticed that I was dressed as nice as everyone else was, all due to Abby and her killer shopping spree a while back.  It was very nice to not be embarrassed about how I was dressed.

The brunch was amazing!  There were some things that I didn't recognize but I was brave and tried little tastes of most of them, and most of it was wonderful.  I did see the evil prosciutto, and gave it a wide berth, no way that evil spoiled meat is coming any where near my mouth ever again!  Bleech!  Those silly people ruined perfectly good melon by wrapping prosciutto around it!

We were down to sipping coffee while we nibbled our pastries when Ben said, "So, does anyone have any idea when would be a good date for our ceremony?"

"Umm, well…..remember us talking about babies?  I'm getting a bad case of baby blues.  I'd really like to start trying as soon as possible.  Is that ok with you both?"  Abby looked rather worried about how we were going to respond.

"Honey, its ok with me.  I have noticed you looking at babies, and when you do, your face is full of longing.  I'd love to have a houseful of babies.  You will make a wonderful mommy.  Derrick what do you think?"

"Babies?  I would love to be a daddy.  You both will make great parents no doubt about it at all in my mind.  However, I do have a request to make about us having children, well more about the raising of them would be more exact.  If we have babies I think we should try to arrange our working lives so that they will be raised by us, not by strangers.  Abby, I don't mean for you to be a full time stay at home mom, I understand that your career is important to you."

"Derrick?  The reason we waited to have children was because we wanted me to stay home and take care of our own children.  We needed to pay off our student loans, pay off most of our debt and build up a decent cushion in our savings account, so that we could afford to live on just one income.  But now money isn't an issue, right?  That money I spent on the wedding gown was the first frivolous money either of us had spent in how long Ben?"

"Oh, three years maybe?  I'm not real sure to be honest, but yeah it's been a long while since we just splashed cash around.  Derrick, I know we kinda talked around this subject before but I think we really need to sit down and soon and be honest and truthful about blending our three incomes."

"Well, if you don't mind talking about it now because the way I look at it is really very simple, we are a triplet and what I have is yours and what you have is mine. Is that how you two would like to handle this?"

"Are you sure that's how you would like to handle this?"

"Yes, I'm very sure."  I looked at both of them before I continued with, "I thought that was what marriage was about?  The sharing of everything?"

Ben looked satisfied with my answer which was a good sign, and he responded with, "Well, it should be, but more and more couples aren't handling their incomes that way."

"Then they are holding a part of themselves back as far as I'm concerned.  Almost as if they are expecting the marriage not to work."

"Ok, ummm I have another possible monkey wrench to throw into the machinery.  We need a bigger house.  Even if we get rid of the office, that will only give us one extra bedroom.  And our yard is rather small as well, not much room for a swing set and still have much room for them to just run around and play.  I would love to have a vegetable garden too."

"Abby you are right, our house is rather on the small side.  But anything larger will come with a small yard and a huge price tag."

My mind was running at full tilt wondering how we could get more house for much less money.  "Now, hang on a moment.  How about we look at some of the older housing developments?  The houses from the 40's and 30's had huge yards."

"Yeah, but the houses are usually a lot smaller, and wouldn't it need a great deal of upkeep?"

"Abby are you are right, the houses were much smaller, however we could re-model the house to work for us.  If we can find one with a large yard that would support all that we want to have outside without an addition cramping things to much I think that would be the perfect option.  Ben how handy are you with a hammer?"

"Not to bad, as long as it's fairly straight forward.  I did build the patio, and I refinished all of the floors in our house."

"Abby, how about you?"

"Me?  I did all of the painting, and I can do little stuff, but not much really, why?"

"Because the more we do ourselves the cheaper it'll be."

"Oh, well then how about your talents Derrick?"  Abby had her head leaned to the side which I had learned meant that she was totally focused.

"I took every shop class they offered, and worked summers with a old guy who did remodeling for a living.  I can do everything but wiring, which I refuse to do."

Ben gave Abby a long look before he said, "If we do this, the deed should be in all three of our names.  Are you two agreeable with this?"  Ben waited for Abby and I to both agree and then he continued, "Ok that's one hurdle down.  Do we look for a house now, or do we wait until we are married?"

"I think we should start looking as soon as possible."

"Yeah, I think Derrick has the right idea.  Hey let's head on home, we can all get our computers out and start looking for houses and realtors, ok?"

Ben nodded his head and said, "Sounds good to me, I wear a tie enough during the week, I don't want to wear one during the weekend if I can help it."

"Did you know that the tie was invented in Croatia?"  At the burst of laughter from Abby and Ben I sighed, I keep coming out with random facts that always make people laugh at me, and I have no idea why…….

As we turned the last corner on the way home, we saw a car sitting in the driveway, and as we got closer Abby gasped out, "Oh good lord, it's mom!"

Cookies!

0

Posted on 3:37 PM | By Biki Honko | In

Standing there on our doorstep was two of the cutest little girls in the blue uniform of the Sky Girls.  Smiling winningly up at me they chorused at me, "Hello!  Would you like to buy some delicious cookies?"  You would have to be a monster to turn down such adorable kids, and not being a monster, I agreed to buy cookies.

"What kinds of cookies do you have?"

"Oh!  We have peanut butter, and chocolate mint,  shortbread, and chip-a-roos!"  The stood there smiling at me, waiting for me to decide what to buy.

Chuckling at their enthusiasm I told them, "Hang on a moment, there are more customers here, ok?"

"Sure Mister!"

Leaving them standing on the step, with the door open, I walked into the kitchen still wearing the smile those sweeties had put on my face.  Everyone wanted to know who was at the door, and after telling them cookie girls, I was almost run over with them getting to the cookies.

Derrick was the only one that didn't get up from the table, he must feel terrible if cookies couldn't get him up. Grinning at me he asked, "Could you please buy me a case of the peanut butter cookies?"

"Wait, a case?  Really?"

Derrick laughed saying, "Yeah, I love those cookies!  And you can only get them once a year.  I don't know where my wallet went to, but could you buy them for me and I'll pay you back please?"

"I put your wallet on the dresser.  I'll be right back with your case of cookies."

When I got back to the front door there were two really happy little girls.  There was an adult with them who was getting the cookies out of a car that was parked at the curb.  Abby had a several boxes of chocolate mint cookies, and several boxes of shortbread, I do love those shortbread cookies!  When I told one of the girls that I wanted two cases of peanut butter, and one of chocolate mints, I thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head.  She took off for the car, waving the money in the air jumping and skipping with happiness.

Cookies bought, and back at the table again, only this time we were a much happier group than before.  Derrick looked shocked that I bought him two boxes and Abby hadn't seen me get her chocolate mints either.

Conversation flowed fairly easily, there were a few rough patches, but for the most part things went very smoothly.  Abby and Nicki seemed to be getting along well, which will make things smoother for Alex and I.  Dinner finished and we sat chatting amidst the ruins of dinner.  Derrick's appetite was a little blunted as he only ate half of his second steak.

Abby looked around the table and said, "Why don't you boys go on into the living room and visit and Nicki and I will wash up?"

"No, the deal is you cook supper and we wash.  You girls go sit down and rest."

"Tonight I'm giving you a pass, ok?"

"Ok, I'll stop arguing.  Did you believe me that I wanted to do dishes?"

"Ha haha!  No!  I don't know anyone that wants to do dishes.  But good effort you!"

Derrick and I sat on the sofa and chatted with Alex while the girls did the dishes.  When they were finished, Abby came and sat down next to me on the sofa, but patted Derrick on his knee as she passed by him, which earned her a big smile.  Derrick lifted his good arm and I snuggled in, and cuddled Abby up against me, just the way we liked to sit.  And for whatever reason that seemed to give Alex and Nicki an uncomfortable moment.  I saw there faces freeze, and Abby and Derrick noticed it as well, causing Abby to try to pull away, and Derrick stiffened up, and he dropped his eyes to the floor.  Ok, here it is then, what I was expecting to happen at some point.

"I'm sorry that our showing affection bothers you.  But if you are going to hang around us, this is something you will just have to get used to.  We kiss and hug and hold hands, and cuddle together on the sofa, it's just how we are.  Can you deal with this?  You told me not to edit our actions when you were with us."

And to punctuate the sentiment I just expressed, I kissed Abby and then Derrick.  While kissing your wife wasn't a shocker by any standards, kissing Derrick was pushing the envelope.  Derrick had a wide eyed look, and if he had been in a position to pull away from me I think he would have.  I didn't give him a chance, and pushed the issue with him also.  When I pulled away from him, Derrick's face was red, and he wouldn't meet anyone's eyes.  Alex had gone a funny color as well.  Nicki was at least a bit more honest with her expression, she was quite clearly shocked to see two men kiss.  It was a soft closed mouth kiss too!  What would she have done if we had porno tongue kissed?  No telling I guess, as there is no way I would ever kiss that way in front of anyone.


"…..no…no, it's ok.  I told you to act naturally around us, and you are.  It's just going to take us a while to……..accustom ourselves to……..this."

Okay…..that didn't sound very promising!  Hmm, our reality is going to be tougher for Alex and Nicki to cope with than they thought.  That's ok, at least they are trying.  Surely with time to adjust, they will become used to how we are together.  All I can do is hope.


"As long as you're open minded and trying, we will give you both all the time needed to adjust."

"……..ok, cool……yeah…sorry."

"No need to apologize.  This is completely new for you and I understand.  It's ok, really."

After that the conversation sputtered along in fits and spurts with periods of rough quiet when Derrick asked, "Any one want any cookies?  I could really do with a stack of cookies and a tall glass of cold milk.  Anyone else want some?"

Nicki and Alex looked as though they had been thrown a life line, and quickly grabbed at the idea of cookies and milk.  Abby and I jumped up and gathered milk and cookies, glasses and napkins, and while we were pouring milk and passing cookies around, things eased up again, and the mood in the room relaxed as we all sat and enjoyed our cookies and milk.  It seems the trick at least for right now, is to keep everyone busy, and off our relationship.  Derrick started yawning, and his shoulder was starting to hurt him, and the smaller ones were beginning to itch.  It was obvious to everyone that he needed a pain pill and sleep.  Nicki and Alex stood up, ready to leave, and I walked them to their cars.  After Nicki left Alex and I stood in the driveway, him leaning up against his car, there was clearly something that he needed to say, but was having a hard time getting started.


"Whatever it is, just tell me already, ok?"

"Ben, I want to tell you that I thought about you every day.  I really did.  But I was so filled with guilt over how I treated you, I couldn't bring myself to try and find you.  I thought that I didn't deserve to be in your life.  Does that make any sense at all?"

"Yeah, it does.  How about we get this talked out?  I'm afraid if we let it sit and fester, it will somehow come back and taint our future."

"Please."

"Great, let's go sit on the patio and talk.  Give Nicki a call, while I go in and see if Derrick needs any help getting ready for bed.  I'll be right back.  Just follow the path to the patio, I'll be right out."

Derrick only needed a little help and was quickly nestled in bed with heavy sleepy eyes.  Abby was exhausted as well, the events of the day leaving her feeling as though she had been through a wringer. All she could think of was how good a long hot shower and sleep would feel.  They were both happy that I was going to talk things out with Alex and get everything out in the open.  I gave them both a kiss and a hug, and went out to the patio to see Alex.


"Did you get everyone tucked in?"

"Yeah, Abby is on her way to bed.  What's going to be interesting is getting in bed later on.  I sleep in the middle.  So, I'm going to have to crawl over someone!"

"Haha!  That could prove to be tricky."

"Yeah.  I think it will be easier to crawl over Abby tonight.  I don't want to bump Derrick."

"So…..umm……how do you work……umm sex?"

"Work sex?"

"Oh, umm well……..see…."

Suddenly I figured out what Alex was trying to say, and I decided to put him out of his misery by saying, "Abby and I have sex, Derrick and I have sex.  So far we are two couples in a sexual sense, I would like that to change in the future, but if it doesn't come to pass I'm ok with what we have.  Well, better than ok.  For the first time in my life I'm happy, totally and completely happy.  You can't even begin to understand what it's been like for me, not being fulfilled by just one sex.  No matter which sex I'm with, some part of me is empty and yearning.  In some ways it makes me feel as though I'm a freak, not being able to be satisfied with only being with one sex."

"I didn't know it was like that for you.  Do you ever see….crap!  What was his name?"

"Who?"

"The boy mom and dad caught you with."

"Micah?  Well, I went over there hoping he could let me stay with him, but his mom wouldn't even let me in the house.  My lovely birth givers had made sure to call his parents.  He wasn't sure how much longer he would be allowed to live at home as it was and I didn't want him to get thrown out too.  We did meet up right before I left town.  It was a tough meeting, we were both crying and we couldn't see any way of us being together………………I really loved him."


"I'm even more upset at what I did now."

"No, no it's ok.  There was nothing you could have done to help.  All you could have done was to give me a place to stay, and then the birth givers would have hated you too.  We do what we have to do to survive."

"Still I could have been….done something…..I don't know……..  At the very least I shouldn't have said those horrid things to you, called you those terrible names.  You are my little brother, I should have protected you…………took better care of you.  Defended you against the parents, and that I didn't, still haunts me."

"If you really want to make it up to me, accept me as I am, don't try to sugar coat it, don't try to dress it up.  Can you try to do that?"

"Yes……well….it's going to take a while for me to get used to…seeing you….and him be all well, lovey."

"Understood, however we won't edit our lives for you.  So, I have a question for you."

"Yeah?"

"What was with the funny face when you first saw Derrick?"

"Oh that, yeah.  Well, for whatever reason I just thought he would be older than you.  How old is he anyway?"

"Derrick is 25.  Sometimes I feel so old.  Next month I'll be 29!  How did I get to be 29?"

"Hahaha!  I know 30 hit me hard.  So, how old is Abby then?"

"Oh, she just turned 26."

"Is her baby clock ticking yet?"

"Yeah, we are looking at next summer.  Since you never mentioned any kids, I guess you don't have any?"

"Umm no.  Nicki can't have children.  It's killing her.  Each and every time she sees a baby or a toddler, it reminds her of her failure."

"No hope at all for a fix?"

"None."

"Does she make eggs?"

"Yeah that's not the problem, she just can't carry them."

"How about a surrogate?"

"We talked about that but decided to just adopt instead.  So, we are currently saving money, who knew that adopting a child was so expensive?"

"Yeah, you would think the main idea would be to find good homes, not rich ones."

"Exactly!  I just don't get it either!"

After that we just talked about things at random.  Nothing of importance, just really getting to know each other, and ya know, it was very nice.  Finally we were both yawning and it became obvious that sleep was not to be denied much longer.  I walked him to his car, and this time there wasn't any lingering unsaid issues.  I know, I know, don't count your eggs before they hatch, but it just felt so much better this time, not so much unexpressed tension, and uncertainty about where we stood with each other.

"Give me a hug goodbye little brother."

"Gladly."  He grabbed me and pulled me in for a hug for the second time in one day.  It felt so good to have my brother back.

He drove off, and I stood there watching his tail lights until they disappeared around the corner with a funny feeling in my chest.  I had walled off most of my emotions dealing with my family, and now that he's back in my life, it looks like I'm going to have to finally deal with the way the parents abandoned me.  Shaking my head, no more thinking for today, time enough for that tomorrow.  I locked the front door and walked down the hallway,enjoying the feeling of the smooth wood beneath my feet.  When I opened up the bedroom door I got a surprise, Abby was snuggled up against Derrick, and he had his arm draped across Abby.  Yay!  I hope this wasn't an accident of sleep, hopefully they were  comforting each other.  I laid awake unable to sleep, not sure if it was being on the wrong side of the bed, or if it was just overload from all that had happened today.  So, much emotion to have crammed into very few hours.

Since the alarm woke me up, I assume that at one point I had indeed drifted off.  I slammed the clock into silence and rolled over,  Abby was smooched up against me, sleeping deeply.  She looked so sweet and peaceful that I hated to wake her, but another day, another dollar, sigh.  I raised my head and saw that Derrick was still deeply asleep.  After waking her, we laid in each others arms a while before Abby and I got up and began to prepare for the day.

While I was showering my mind kept busy trying to decide how I wanted to handle my mother's treatment of Ben.  Actually, I was very surprised that she hadn't tried to call me at all yesterday, or hadn't shown up at our house.  Could she have written me off that easily?  I can't just let this lay, action needs to be taken, but in what form?  Do I go over and yell at her, talk to her, try to explain things to her to get through her pig headedness?  Or should this just be left alone to calm down first?  I just wish that I knew what to do.  Derrick was so sweet last night when he pulled me over to cuddle with him.  He knew what it was like to be tossed away like yesterdays trash, well Ben too actually.  How can parents who claim to love their children make that love conditional upon living by their rules, their desires?  I thought parents were supposed to love their child with out boundaries, whole heartily, no holds barred, wading through fire and hailstones to be there for them?  And now for the first time I really understand how both Ben and Derrick feel.  Before now, I felt sorry for them, but didn't comprehend the soul deep pain being unwanted caused.

How out of the blue was that with Alex and Nicki appearing back into Ben's life?  I sure hope they can deal with us as a triplet and that Alex doesn't let Ben down yet again.  Sighing yet again for the millionth time already today, I shut off the shower and grabbed a towel off the rack.  Opening the shower curtain with one hand, while drying my face with the other I hear Ben peeing and decide to snap my towel at him.  He hates it when I do that to him!  I guess that my sense of humor is rather juvenile, because it always makes me laugh until I my sides hurt.  I hurriedly twist the towel up, and step out of the shower ready to flip Ben on his ass, and Oh MY God!  It's Derrick!!!  Shrieking and trying to cover myself up, while Derrick frantically attempted to cover himself pee going everywhere!  Ben hearing my shriek comes barreling into the bathroom.  He took only one look before doubling over in a fit of laughter!  I'm going to kill him!  He thinks that so funny!  Well, I'll show him!  And in an instant the giggles start rolling out of me too.  Soon I'm clutching the wall for support I'm laughing so hard, and Derrick's laughing as uncontrollably as Ben and I.

It took us quite a while to calm down from our fit of the giggles.  I'm wiping my face, wet from both tears and my hair, when it dawns on me, the entire time I was laughing I was naked as the day I was born!  Me!  Naked!  In front of Derrick!  Before embarrassment took total hold of me, Ben held out my robe for me to put on murmuring  into my ear, "It's ok dearest, it really is!  Just be glad he didn't try to step into the shower with you, thinking it was me."  And at that comment my mind went into over drive at "that" thought!

Derrick had pulled up his boxers awkwardly with one hand a a thumb on the other hand, and had vanished from the bathroom, and as I found out in a few minutes from the bedroom as well.  Ben found him in the living room trying to pull on some clothing.  Ben tried but failed at being understanding at how embarrassed he was.  He almost pulled it off before dissolving into a fit of the giggles only managing to get out, "If you two could have only seen your faces!  The look, oh my…the look you two had!"

In the end, I just decided to let the whole thing with mom lay for a while.  Who knows maybe she will calm down finally and….. I don't know, be okay with it I guess.

Days pass, Derrick has his stitches removed, and goes back to work on light duty, which means no lifting.  He can weld all day, but can't lift.  So someone has to come along and tack things into place for him.  Our lives settle into normal, a different normal than what Ben and I had lived before, but a happier normal with Derrick now in our world.  Derrick and I were getting used to each other, and had lost a lot of the shyness we had around each other before "The Shower Incident" as it had come to be known.  Lisa and Rich, Alex and Nicki came over a lot, and as the summer progressed the six of us spent a lot of time out on the patio barbecuing, drinking beer and just having a wonderful time.  My mom still hadn't contacted me, it had been roughly two months now, and I was beginning to believe unless I made the first move, we were going to continue to cemented into these positions.

Lisa and Nicki and I were at the mall one lazy Saturday afternoon.  We were just wandering around the mall not really shopping, but just strolling along, looking in the windows and people watching, when we came to a jewelry store.  Lisa stopped and was looking at the gorgeous  display when she turned to me asking, "So, when are you and Ben going to marry Derrick?"

My mouth was open but my brain was on full stop.  Marry Derrick?  Marry?  But, how could that be, I'm already married to Ben, and he's married to……..oh!  My face must have shown the progression of my thoughts because both Lisa and Nicki burst out laughing at me.

"Can you tell the idea never entered her mind at all?"  Lisa was still bubbling with laughter.

Lisa grabbed one arm, and Nicki the other and they led me to the coffee shop.  The very same coffee shop that Lisa first met Derrick.  The guided me to a table and Lisa went off to order, leaving Nicki and I alone together.  We had gotten to know each other fairly well, but still anytime that Derrick and Ben showed affection towards each other, she always had this off kilter look on her face.  Knowing that Lisa was going to be in line for a while, I decided to broach the subject with her.

"Are you ok now with Ben and Derrick, them being together?"

Nicki looked down for a while before looking up at me saying, "Yeah, I mean, sorta.  It's still weird for me to see them kiss.  Did it ever bother you?"

"I'll be honest with you, it did at first, until I realized that Ben doesn't love me any less than before Derrick, if anything I think he loves me more."

"But does it umm, like ahh………"

I sat there awhile trying to figure out what Nicki was trying to say to me.  And then it dawned on me, it turned her on seeing them kiss!  Trying to say this as delicately as possible so as not to embarrass her, "Yes, it does excite me to see them kiss, but it's a perfectly natural reaction.  We are all sexual beings, and seeing two people kissing is arousing."

"But, it's….unnatural for two men to kiss."

Sighing inwardly, this could be an uphill battle, gathering my thoughts I said, "Unnatural?  How could the expressing of love ever be considered unnatural?  Yes, yes I know a lot of religions spend a lot of time preaching hate for LGBT people.  But the way I look at it, hate shouldn't be taught in church."

"LGBT?"

"Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender."  Sighing how could she not know this?

"Oh, ok yeah.  Our church that we attended before we moved were always preaching against "the gays" as they put it.  And how horrible it was that they "perverted God's gift" of love and marriage.  One day when Pastor Franklin was pounding the pulpit about how if gay marriage was allowed it would spell our country's downfall, Alex got to his feet, pulled me to mine and we left the church and never went back again.  We moved here shortly after that happened, and Alex said he wasn't ever going to step foot in a church again.  It felt kinda weird at first not to go to church every Sunday, but now I'm used to it, and strangely enough don't miss it any more."

Whew! This was going much better than I had hoped.  Taking a big breath in I bravely asked, "So….you are ok with Ben and Derrick?  Are you ok with us being a triplet?"

"Yes……I'm ok with it."

"Are you sure?  You don't sound very sure."

"I'm sure, really I am ok with them, with the three of you living together.  It just seems kinda strange, ya know?"

"Yes I know, but you seem to be getting used to it."

"I am."

"What about Alex?  Is he really ok with it?"

"Oh yeah, he's fine with it.  I don't know what changed his outlook, but that day in church was the end of his hatred.  It took me a while longer to change my outlook, but by the time I ran into Ben that day I didn't understand our old church's point of view."

Doing a mental happy dance I was bubbling over when Lisa reappeared at our table with a tray of drinks and snacks.  She shot me a quizzical look and let it go for now, but I know that later I would be getting the 5th degree.  Let her grill me this is the best news I've had in a long time!

"Ok, come down off of what ever number of happy cloud you are on, and join us.  You are going to sit there and tell me you never thought about having some sort of ceremony to make Derrick feel like a full member of your family?"

"No, we have talked about it, just not lately.  But you are right, we need to do something to make it official."

"So, what would you like to do?  Private or public ceremony?  Party afterwards?  Formal wear or something more simple?"

I sat quietly for a while sipping my coffee and eating my sandwich, all the while my mind whirling at all the possibilities.  Finally coming to a few decisions I said, "Here's what I'm thinking.  If we were to have a private ceremony, it would seem as though we are ashamed of Derrick, ashamed of his love for Ben and for me.  So, what ever we do, we have to do it in public.  And going along with that, it needs to be formal, to show that we are indeed taking this seriously.  I want to plan this the same way I planned my first wedding.  I do have a weird question though, do I wear the gown I wore to marry Ben, or should it be something new?"

Lisa cleared her throat and said, "I personally think you need a new dress.  Because this is a whole separate occasion.  Derrick needs to feel as special as Ben did when you two got married.  He needs to feel the same way Ben did on his wedding day, everything needs to be new, and I do mean everything.  New rings, new clothes, new……well every thing.  What do you think Nicki?"

"I agree.  You can't half ass this, or you will hurt Derrick's feelings.  He deserves a special wedding day, and that means no already been worn gown.  Or that you and Ben still wear your original wedding rings, and only his are new."

"You know what I say to that?"  Both Lisa and Nicki looked at me wondering what I was going to say and I said, "It's time to go shopping!"  After we had all stopped giggling, we got up and walked downy the mall to visit a bridal salon.

Nicki stopped me just outside the door saying, "Take off the wedding band, just leave your engagement ring on."

Brilliant girl!  I pulled my rings off and dropped the wedding band into my makeup bag, boy does my hand look naked without that second ring.  I pulled the door open and into the shop we ventured.  We walked around looking at the various mannequins dressed in very lovely gowns, and a feeling of excitement started to gather in my heart.  And then the thought of what a wedding day is always followed by, a wedding night!  I know Ben will want to have sex.  All three of us.  Together.  Clothes off.  Naked.  Touching.  Oh……!