Posted on 3:37 PM | By Biki Honko | In

Standing there on our doorstep was two of the cutest little girls in the blue uniform of the Sky Girls.  Smiling winningly up at me they chorused at me, "Hello!  Would you like to buy some delicious cookies?"  You would have to be a monster to turn down such adorable kids, and not being a monster, I agreed to buy cookies.

"What kinds of cookies do you have?"

"Oh!  We have peanut butter, and chocolate mint,  shortbread, and chip-a-roos!"  The stood there smiling at me, waiting for me to decide what to buy.

Chuckling at their enthusiasm I told them, "Hang on a moment, there are more customers here, ok?"

"Sure Mister!"

Leaving them standing on the step, with the door open, I walked into the kitchen still wearing the smile those sweeties had put on my face.  Everyone wanted to know who was at the door, and after telling them cookie girls, I was almost run over with them getting to the cookies.

Derrick was the only one that didn't get up from the table, he must feel terrible if cookies couldn't get him up. Grinning at me he asked, "Could you please buy me a case of the peanut butter cookies?"

"Wait, a case?  Really?"

Derrick laughed saying, "Yeah, I love those cookies!  And you can only get them once a year.  I don't know where my wallet went to, but could you buy them for me and I'll pay you back please?"

"I put your wallet on the dresser.  I'll be right back with your case of cookies."

When I got back to the front door there were two really happy little girls.  There was an adult with them who was getting the cookies out of a car that was parked at the curb.  Abby had a several boxes of chocolate mint cookies, and several boxes of shortbread, I do love those shortbread cookies!  When I told one of the girls that I wanted two cases of peanut butter, and one of chocolate mints, I thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head.  She took off for the car, waving the money in the air jumping and skipping with happiness.

Cookies bought, and back at the table again, only this time we were a much happier group than before.  Derrick looked shocked that I bought him two boxes and Abby hadn't seen me get her chocolate mints either.

Conversation flowed fairly easily, there were a few rough patches, but for the most part things went very smoothly.  Abby and Nicki seemed to be getting along well, which will make things smoother for Alex and I.  Dinner finished and we sat chatting amidst the ruins of dinner.  Derrick's appetite was a little blunted as he only ate half of his second steak.

Abby looked around the table and said, "Why don't you boys go on into the living room and visit and Nicki and I will wash up?"

"No, the deal is you cook supper and we wash.  You girls go sit down and rest."

"Tonight I'm giving you a pass, ok?"

"Ok, I'll stop arguing.  Did you believe me that I wanted to do dishes?"

"Ha haha!  No!  I don't know anyone that wants to do dishes.  But good effort you!"

Derrick and I sat on the sofa and chatted with Alex while the girls did the dishes.  When they were finished, Abby came and sat down next to me on the sofa, but patted Derrick on his knee as she passed by him, which earned her a big smile.  Derrick lifted his good arm and I snuggled in, and cuddled Abby up against me, just the way we liked to sit.  And for whatever reason that seemed to give Alex and Nicki an uncomfortable moment.  I saw there faces freeze, and Abby and Derrick noticed it as well, causing Abby to try to pull away, and Derrick stiffened up, and he dropped his eyes to the floor.  Ok, here it is then, what I was expecting to happen at some point.

"I'm sorry that our showing affection bothers you.  But if you are going to hang around us, this is something you will just have to get used to.  We kiss and hug and hold hands, and cuddle together on the sofa, it's just how we are.  Can you deal with this?  You told me not to edit our actions when you were with us."

And to punctuate the sentiment I just expressed, I kissed Abby and then Derrick.  While kissing your wife wasn't a shocker by any standards, kissing Derrick was pushing the envelope.  Derrick had a wide eyed look, and if he had been in a position to pull away from me I think he would have.  I didn't give him a chance, and pushed the issue with him also.  When I pulled away from him, Derrick's face was red, and he wouldn't meet anyone's eyes.  Alex had gone a funny color as well.  Nicki was at least a bit more honest with her expression, she was quite clearly shocked to see two men kiss.  It was a soft closed mouth kiss too!  What would she have done if we had porno tongue kissed?  No telling I guess, as there is no way I would ever kiss that way in front of anyone.

"……no, it's ok.  I told you to act naturally around us, and you are.  It's just going to take us a while to……..accustom ourselves to……..this."

Okay…..that didn't sound very promising!  Hmm, our reality is going to be tougher for Alex and Nicki to cope with than they thought.  That's ok, at least they are trying.  Surely with time to adjust, they will become used to how we are together.  All I can do is hope.

"As long as you're open minded and trying, we will give you both all the time needed to adjust."

"……..ok, cool……yeah…sorry."

"No need to apologize.  This is completely new for you and I understand.  It's ok, really."

After that the conversation sputtered along in fits and spurts with periods of rough quiet when Derrick asked, "Any one want any cookies?  I could really do with a stack of cookies and a tall glass of cold milk.  Anyone else want some?"

Nicki and Alex looked as though they had been thrown a life line, and quickly grabbed at the idea of cookies and milk.  Abby and I jumped up and gathered milk and cookies, glasses and napkins, and while we were pouring milk and passing cookies around, things eased up again, and the mood in the room relaxed as we all sat and enjoyed our cookies and milk.  It seems the trick at least for right now, is to keep everyone busy, and off our relationship.  Derrick started yawning, and his shoulder was starting to hurt him, and the smaller ones were beginning to itch.  It was obvious to everyone that he needed a pain pill and sleep.  Nicki and Alex stood up, ready to leave, and I walked them to their cars.  After Nicki left Alex and I stood in the driveway, him leaning up against his car, there was clearly something that he needed to say, but was having a hard time getting started.

"Whatever it is, just tell me already, ok?"

"Ben, I want to tell you that I thought about you every day.  I really did.  But I was so filled with guilt over how I treated you, I couldn't bring myself to try and find you.  I thought that I didn't deserve to be in your life.  Does that make any sense at all?"

"Yeah, it does.  How about we get this talked out?  I'm afraid if we let it sit and fester, it will somehow come back and taint our future."


"Great, let's go sit on the patio and talk.  Give Nicki a call, while I go in and see if Derrick needs any help getting ready for bed.  I'll be right back.  Just follow the path to the patio, I'll be right out."

Derrick only needed a little help and was quickly nestled in bed with heavy sleepy eyes.  Abby was exhausted as well, the events of the day leaving her feeling as though she had been through a wringer. All she could think of was how good a long hot shower and sleep would feel.  They were both happy that I was going to talk things out with Alex and get everything out in the open.  I gave them both a kiss and a hug, and went out to the patio to see Alex.

"Did you get everyone tucked in?"

"Yeah, Abby is on her way to bed.  What's going to be interesting is getting in bed later on.  I sleep in the middle.  So, I'm going to have to crawl over someone!"

"Haha!  That could prove to be tricky."

"Yeah.  I think it will be easier to crawl over Abby tonight.  I don't want to bump Derrick."

"So…..umm……how do you work……umm sex?"

"Work sex?"

"Oh, umm well……..see…."

Suddenly I figured out what Alex was trying to say, and I decided to put him out of his misery by saying, "Abby and I have sex, Derrick and I have sex.  So far we are two couples in a sexual sense, I would like that to change in the future, but if it doesn't come to pass I'm ok with what we have.  Well, better than ok.  For the first time in my life I'm happy, totally and completely happy.  You can't even begin to understand what it's been like for me, not being fulfilled by just one sex.  No matter which sex I'm with, some part of me is empty and yearning.  In some ways it makes me feel as though I'm a freak, not being able to be satisfied with only being with one sex."

"I didn't know it was like that for you.  Do you ever see….crap!  What was his name?"


"The boy mom and dad caught you with."

"Micah?  Well, I went over there hoping he could let me stay with him, but his mom wouldn't even let me in the house.  My lovely birth givers had made sure to call his parents.  He wasn't sure how much longer he would be allowed to live at home as it was and I didn't want him to get thrown out too.  We did meet up right before I left town.  It was a tough meeting, we were both crying and we couldn't see any way of us being together………………I really loved him."

"I'm even more upset at what I did now."

"No, no it's ok.  There was nothing you could have done to help.  All you could have done was to give me a place to stay, and then the birth givers would have hated you too.  We do what we have to do to survive."

"Still I could have been….done something…..I don't know……..  At the very least I shouldn't have said those horrid things to you, called you those terrible names.  You are my little brother, I should have protected you…………took better care of you.  Defended you against the parents, and that I didn't, still haunts me."

"If you really want to make it up to me, accept me as I am, don't try to sugar coat it, don't try to dress it up.  Can you try to do that?"

"Yes……well….it's going to take a while for me to get used to…seeing you….and him be all well, lovey."

"Understood, however we won't edit our lives for you.  So, I have a question for you."


"What was with the funny face when you first saw Derrick?"

"Oh that, yeah.  Well, for whatever reason I just thought he would be older than you.  How old is he anyway?"

"Derrick is 25.  Sometimes I feel so old.  Next month I'll be 29!  How did I get to be 29?"

"Hahaha!  I know 30 hit me hard.  So, how old is Abby then?"

"Oh, she just turned 26."

"Is her baby clock ticking yet?"

"Yeah, we are looking at next summer.  Since you never mentioned any kids, I guess you don't have any?"

"Umm no.  Nicki can't have children.  It's killing her.  Each and every time she sees a baby or a toddler, it reminds her of her failure."

"No hope at all for a fix?"


"Does she make eggs?"

"Yeah that's not the problem, she just can't carry them."

"How about a surrogate?"

"We talked about that but decided to just adopt instead.  So, we are currently saving money, who knew that adopting a child was so expensive?"

"Yeah, you would think the main idea would be to find good homes, not rich ones."

"Exactly!  I just don't get it either!"

After that we just talked about things at random.  Nothing of importance, just really getting to know each other, and ya know, it was very nice.  Finally we were both yawning and it became obvious that sleep was not to be denied much longer.  I walked him to his car, and this time there wasn't any lingering unsaid issues.  I know, I know, don't count your eggs before they hatch, but it just felt so much better this time, not so much unexpressed tension, and uncertainty about where we stood with each other.

"Give me a hug goodbye little brother."

"Gladly."  He grabbed me and pulled me in for a hug for the second time in one day.  It felt so good to have my brother back.

He drove off, and I stood there watching his tail lights until they disappeared around the corner with a funny feeling in my chest.  I had walled off most of my emotions dealing with my family, and now that he's back in my life, it looks like I'm going to have to finally deal with the way the parents abandoned me.  Shaking my head, no more thinking for today, time enough for that tomorrow.  I locked the front door and walked down the hallway,enjoying the feeling of the smooth wood beneath my feet.  When I opened up the bedroom door I got a surprise, Abby was snuggled up against Derrick, and he had his arm draped across Abby.  Yay!  I hope this wasn't an accident of sleep, hopefully they were  comforting each other.  I laid awake unable to sleep, not sure if it was being on the wrong side of the bed, or if it was just overload from all that had happened today.  So, much emotion to have crammed into very few hours.

Since the alarm woke me up, I assume that at one point I had indeed drifted off.  I slammed the clock into silence and rolled over,  Abby was smooched up against me, sleeping deeply.  She looked so sweet and peaceful that I hated to wake her, but another day, another dollar, sigh.  I raised my head and saw that Derrick was still deeply asleep.  After waking her, we laid in each others arms a while before Abby and I got up and began to prepare for the day.

While I was showering my mind kept busy trying to decide how I wanted to handle my mother's treatment of Ben.  Actually, I was very surprised that she hadn't tried to call me at all yesterday, or hadn't shown up at our house.  Could she have written me off that easily?  I can't just let this lay, action needs to be taken, but in what form?  Do I go over and yell at her, talk to her, try to explain things to her to get through her pig headedness?  Or should this just be left alone to calm down first?  I just wish that I knew what to do.  Derrick was so sweet last night when he pulled me over to cuddle with him.  He knew what it was like to be tossed away like yesterdays trash, well Ben too actually.  How can parents who claim to love their children make that love conditional upon living by their rules, their desires?  I thought parents were supposed to love their child with out boundaries, whole heartily, no holds barred, wading through fire and hailstones to be there for them?  And now for the first time I really understand how both Ben and Derrick feel.  Before now, I felt sorry for them, but didn't comprehend the soul deep pain being unwanted caused.

How out of the blue was that with Alex and Nicki appearing back into Ben's life?  I sure hope they can deal with us as a triplet and that Alex doesn't let Ben down yet again.  Sighing yet again for the millionth time already today, I shut off the shower and grabbed a towel off the rack.  Opening the shower curtain with one hand, while drying my face with the other I hear Ben peeing and decide to snap my towel at him.  He hates it when I do that to him!  I guess that my sense of humor is rather juvenile, because it always makes me laugh until I my sides hurt.  I hurriedly twist the towel up, and step out of the shower ready to flip Ben on his ass, and Oh MY God!  It's Derrick!!!  Shrieking and trying to cover myself up, while Derrick frantically attempted to cover himself pee going everywhere!  Ben hearing my shriek comes barreling into the bathroom.  He took only one look before doubling over in a fit of laughter!  I'm going to kill him!  He thinks that so funny!  Well, I'll show him!  And in an instant the giggles start rolling out of me too.  Soon I'm clutching the wall for support I'm laughing so hard, and Derrick's laughing as uncontrollably as Ben and I.

It took us quite a while to calm down from our fit of the giggles.  I'm wiping my face, wet from both tears and my hair, when it dawns on me, the entire time I was laughing I was naked as the day I was born!  Me!  Naked!  In front of Derrick!  Before embarrassment took total hold of me, Ben held out my robe for me to put on murmuring  into my ear, "It's ok dearest, it really is!  Just be glad he didn't try to step into the shower with you, thinking it was me."  And at that comment my mind went into over drive at "that" thought!

Derrick had pulled up his boxers awkwardly with one hand a a thumb on the other hand, and had vanished from the bathroom, and as I found out in a few minutes from the bedroom as well.  Ben found him in the living room trying to pull on some clothing.  Ben tried but failed at being understanding at how embarrassed he was.  He almost pulled it off before dissolving into a fit of the giggles only managing to get out, "If you two could have only seen your faces!  The look, oh my…the look you two had!"

In the end, I just decided to let the whole thing with mom lay for a while.  Who knows maybe she will calm down finally and….. I don't know, be okay with it I guess.

Days pass, Derrick has his stitches removed, and goes back to work on light duty, which means no lifting.  He can weld all day, but can't lift.  So someone has to come along and tack things into place for him.  Our lives settle into normal, a different normal than what Ben and I had lived before, but a happier normal with Derrick now in our world.  Derrick and I were getting used to each other, and had lost a lot of the shyness we had around each other before "The Shower Incident" as it had come to be known.  Lisa and Rich, Alex and Nicki came over a lot, and as the summer progressed the six of us spent a lot of time out on the patio barbecuing, drinking beer and just having a wonderful time.  My mom still hadn't contacted me, it had been roughly two months now, and I was beginning to believe unless I made the first move, we were going to continue to cemented into these positions.

Lisa and Nicki and I were at the mall one lazy Saturday afternoon.  We were just wandering around the mall not really shopping, but just strolling along, looking in the windows and people watching, when we came to a jewelry store.  Lisa stopped and was looking at the gorgeous  display when she turned to me asking, "So, when are you and Ben going to marry Derrick?"

My mouth was open but my brain was on full stop.  Marry Derrick?  Marry?  But, how could that be, I'm already married to Ben, and he's married to……..oh!  My face must have shown the progression of my thoughts because both Lisa and Nicki burst out laughing at me.

"Can you tell the idea never entered her mind at all?"  Lisa was still bubbling with laughter.

Lisa grabbed one arm, and Nicki the other and they led me to the coffee shop.  The very same coffee shop that Lisa first met Derrick.  The guided me to a table and Lisa went off to order, leaving Nicki and I alone together.  We had gotten to know each other fairly well, but still anytime that Derrick and Ben showed affection towards each other, she always had this off kilter look on her face.  Knowing that Lisa was going to be in line for a while, I decided to broach the subject with her.

"Are you ok now with Ben and Derrick, them being together?"

Nicki looked down for a while before looking up at me saying, "Yeah, I mean, sorta.  It's still weird for me to see them kiss.  Did it ever bother you?"

"I'll be honest with you, it did at first, until I realized that Ben doesn't love me any less than before Derrick, if anything I think he loves me more."

"But does it umm, like ahh………"

I sat there awhile trying to figure out what Nicki was trying to say to me.  And then it dawned on me, it turned her on seeing them kiss!  Trying to say this as delicately as possible so as not to embarrass her, "Yes, it does excite me to see them kiss, but it's a perfectly natural reaction.  We are all sexual beings, and seeing two people kissing is arousing."

"But, it's….unnatural for two men to kiss."

Sighing inwardly, this could be an uphill battle, gathering my thoughts I said, "Unnatural?  How could the expressing of love ever be considered unnatural?  Yes, yes I know a lot of religions spend a lot of time preaching hate for LGBT people.  But the way I look at it, hate shouldn't be taught in church."


"Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender."  Sighing how could she not know this?

"Oh, ok yeah.  Our church that we attended before we moved were always preaching against "the gays" as they put it.  And how horrible it was that they "perverted God's gift" of love and marriage.  One day when Pastor Franklin was pounding the pulpit about how if gay marriage was allowed it would spell our country's downfall, Alex got to his feet, pulled me to mine and we left the church and never went back again.  We moved here shortly after that happened, and Alex said he wasn't ever going to step foot in a church again.  It felt kinda weird at first not to go to church every Sunday, but now I'm used to it, and strangely enough don't miss it any more."

Whew! This was going much better than I had hoped.  Taking a big breath in I bravely asked, "So….you are ok with Ben and Derrick?  Are you ok with us being a triplet?"

"Yes……I'm ok with it."

"Are you sure?  You don't sound very sure."

"I'm sure, really I am ok with them, with the three of you living together.  It just seems kinda strange, ya know?"

"Yes I know, but you seem to be getting used to it."

"I am."

"What about Alex?  Is he really ok with it?"

"Oh yeah, he's fine with it.  I don't know what changed his outlook, but that day in church was the end of his hatred.  It took me a while longer to change my outlook, but by the time I ran into Ben that day I didn't understand our old church's point of view."

Doing a mental happy dance I was bubbling over when Lisa reappeared at our table with a tray of drinks and snacks.  She shot me a quizzical look and let it go for now, but I know that later I would be getting the 5th degree.  Let her grill me this is the best news I've had in a long time!

"Ok, come down off of what ever number of happy cloud you are on, and join us.  You are going to sit there and tell me you never thought about having some sort of ceremony to make Derrick feel like a full member of your family?"

"No, we have talked about it, just not lately.  But you are right, we need to do something to make it official."

"So, what would you like to do?  Private or public ceremony?  Party afterwards?  Formal wear or something more simple?"

I sat quietly for a while sipping my coffee and eating my sandwich, all the while my mind whirling at all the possibilities.  Finally coming to a few decisions I said, "Here's what I'm thinking.  If we were to have a private ceremony, it would seem as though we are ashamed of Derrick, ashamed of his love for Ben and for me.  So, what ever we do, we have to do it in public.  And going along with that, it needs to be formal, to show that we are indeed taking this seriously.  I want to plan this the same way I planned my first wedding.  I do have a weird question though, do I wear the gown I wore to marry Ben, or should it be something new?"

Lisa cleared her throat and said, "I personally think you need a new dress.  Because this is a whole separate occasion.  Derrick needs to feel as special as Ben did when you two got married.  He needs to feel the same way Ben did on his wedding day, everything needs to be new, and I do mean everything.  New rings, new clothes, new……well every thing.  What do you think Nicki?"

"I agree.  You can't half ass this, or you will hurt Derrick's feelings.  He deserves a special wedding day, and that means no already been worn gown.  Or that you and Ben still wear your original wedding rings, and only his are new."

"You know what I say to that?"  Both Lisa and Nicki looked at me wondering what I was going to say and I said, "It's time to go shopping!"  After we had all stopped giggling, we got up and walked downy the mall to visit a bridal salon.

Nicki stopped me just outside the door saying, "Take off the wedding band, just leave your engagement ring on."

Brilliant girl!  I pulled my rings off and dropped the wedding band into my makeup bag, boy does my hand look naked without that second ring.  I pulled the door open and into the shop we ventured.  We walked around looking at the various mannequins dressed in very lovely gowns, and a feeling of excitement started to gather in my heart.  And then the thought of what a wedding day is always followed by, a wedding night!  I know Ben will want to have sex.  All three of us.  Together.  Clothes off.  Naked.  Touching.  Oh……!

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