Life on a Printed Plane

"Mom?  What do you want to bring with you?"

"Oh, just my mom's dishes and my clothing….oh! And a box from the attic."

I stood looking into the dining room, and then took a quick turn through the house, ending back in the kitchen asking, "Umm, isn't the dining room, and the rockers, and the spare bedroom furniture from yours or dad's family?"

"Yeah, it is."

"Do you really want to leave it for him?  Mom, come on lets take it with us, ok?"

"Honey, how could we move all of this in only one day?"

"Do you know some teenagers that would come over and work hard for good money?"

"Yeah….I guess so.  But what would we do with it?"

"We'll store it until you can get a place of your own.  Please mom don't leave any of this stuff for him."

"Ok.  I think the youth group is meeting today at noon.  We could swing by and ask if any of them would be interested."

"Good!  I'll go get a truck, you start organizing things here, ok?  That way when I bring back boxes you can just drop stuff in, ok?"

"Ok honey, ok."

I looked in the phone book and found a place not to far away.  Mentally calculating what size of a truck I would need to bring everything back in.  Oh!  We are going to need to leave a car here.  Hmm, I wonder if mom's car was even worth taking.  It was running rough before I left home.  I was always tinkering with it to keep it running.  Could it even make the trip there in one piece?  What I need to do is to convince mom to leave it, and accept my car in exchange….hmm how to sweeten this deal to make it more palatable for her?  I left my car at the rental place, put the ton of boxes and tape and bubble wrap in the front and was back at mom's in only 45 minutes.  Score!  This was still possible to get finished and be out of here before Tim came home, I hope.

I ran in and got mom's car keys from her, and backed her car out of the drive.  Just as i suspected, it was running horrible, ok think of a plan to let her leave the car happily.  I backed the truck up the driveway, and was now ready to start filling it.  Mom came out to help carry in the load of flat boxes and wrap.  She already had several piles of things on the floor ready to be boxed up.  I hurriedly built boxes for her to fill while I readied the bedroom furniture for it's move.  Walking past mom's bedroom, I stopped and stood there, thinking….
"Hey mom?  Isn't this set, from when you were married to dad?"

"Yeah, he bought it for me when we got married."

"Don't you want it to?"

Mom stood there, frozen for a moment before turning to me with an odd expression, almost expressionless in some strange way, before she said, "No!  I don't want it, Tim ruined this set for me."  After saying that she went back into the kitchen to continuing packing grandma's dishes.

At that specific eye blink of time I knew that no matter how bad things had been for me, mom lived through much worse.  Rage poured throughout my body, and if Tim had of come through that door at that time, I would have been living what little time left to me in jail for murder.  Harnessing my rage, I worked as quickly as possible without breaking anything.  Luckily for the teens that showed up about 20 minutes later, I had gotten myself firmly under control. I will hurt him by taking every thing from the house that mom will allow, and by hiring a devoid of human compassion shark of a lawyer.

The teens were eager to work, and quicker than I could believe, we had the furniture mom wanted out of the house and snuggly housed in the truck.  Boxes came next.  I perched mom in the attic pointing out boxes for them to carry out to the truck.  The boys started trickling away as other commitments intruded on helping us.  I handed out twenties to the boys until there was only one boy left.  A smiling hard working, stomach growling teen.  Looking down at my watch I saw that it was only 2:30.  We had plenty of time to break for lunch.

"Hey!  I don't know about you Jake, but I'm starving.  Let's break for lunch, ok?"

"Sure!  My stomach thinks it's been forgotten!"

"Haha!  Yeah, know just what you mean!  Let's get my mom and we can head out for lunch."

"Umm, could you pay me first please?"

"Nope!"  I saw his face fall, so quickly I added, "Because lunch is on me."

A smile shone out of him, that could have made the very sun in the sky jealous.

"Go wash up, and meet us in the kitchen."

I walked into the kitchen and quietly asked mom, "Hey what do you know about Jake?"

"His parents are very poor, but it's not because they don't work.  They are both hard workers, they have just had several large set backs.  Jake would love a part time job, but they live out of town far enough so that getting to work is kinda problematic for him.  He rides in with one of the youth group leaders who lives out by him.  Why?"

I heard the bathroom door open so I quietly told mom, "I'll tell you later, ok?"

After quickly washing up, we headed out in my car to the nearest Burger Doodle.  Man, I sure missed this chain!  The burgers were so big, juicy, just flat out delicious!   After finding out what they wanted I had them go grab a table while I put in our order.  It was kinda a weird system, you order from the counter, but they bring it to your table.  I doubled Jake's order, he was kinda thin, some extra calories would do him good.

The expression on his face when he saw that I had doubled his order of two burgers to four was camera worthy!  He left no fry, no sesame seed left behind, he managed to fit it all in.  Eating with mom again, seeing her smile at me across the table, made me so very happy that I had come today.  Even if that human pond scum hadn't of been mistreating her, just seeing the pleasure she took in a simple meal of burgers with me was of more value than the Hope Diamond, at least to me.

After we got back to the house, I set mom packing the more breakable items, while Jake and I worked on getting the boxes off the lawn and into the truck.  We were both  quiet except for the occasional comment here and there, so when he actually spoke to me, it surprised me.

"Derrick?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you kiss me?"  To say that I was shocked at his request, would be the understatement of the world.

"Ahh….wait, what?"

"I know you're gay.  Kiss me please."

"Well, yeah I am, but how did you know?"

Jake giggled a bit before answering me, "You watched that cute waiter guy walk away.  In fact you slightly leaned a bit to watch him longer."

Busted!  But damn, that waiter guy was seriously cute!  "Ok, yeah I am, but why do you want me to kiss you?"

"I've never been kissed before, and I'm tired of waiting to see what it's like……and…….ummm……you're much cuter that that waiter."

"How old are you Jake?"  Damn!  How in the hell was I going to worm my way of this?

"I'm 16.  Yeah, I know I'm not legal yet.  I promise not to tell.  Please kiss me, please?"

"I just can't Jake, I'm sorry.  It wouldn't be right."

Jake just nodded his head, and went back to work, but with much less spring in his step.  I've just crushed him.  Oh shit!  Do I kiss him anyway?

"Let's go check and make sure there isn't anything left in the attic, ok?"

"………sure."

We walked through the partly empty house and up into the attic, where I surprised him by pulling him into me and kissing him soundly.  No tongue, I wasn't going there, but soft lips working on his, holding him, cradling him against me, hoping to impart a feeling of caring to him.  When I pulled my lips from his, Jake melted against me.  His heart was pounding against me, and I felt his hardness against my hip.  I ran my hands up and down his back, letting him calm down before releasing him.

As I pulled away, the smile on this boy was nothing short of beautiful.  He leaned back into me, and snaked his arms around me, and held on to me tightly, he lightly kissed my neck before stepping out of my arms.

"Thank you" he breathed out, "Oh, thank you!  That was so much better than I ever dreamed it would be."

"You're welcome, but just this once, understand?"

"Yeah."

"Good, let's get back to work, ok?"

"Sure!"

I sent him outside to work on getting the boxes stacked in the truck, and went to work on mom about getting rid of her car.

"So, about your car mom?"

"You want me to give it to Jake don't you?"

"Umm, yeah…how in the hell did you know that?"

"Just from the questions you were asking me earlier.  He really is a wonderful boy.  My car could make the world of difference to his family.  I'll go get the title and sign it over to him while he's busy."

"Don't worry about not having a car to get around in mom, you can have mine ok?  I hardly drive it anyway.  We have a surplus of cars at the house as it is."

"How will you get to work?"

"I have an beater of a truck I use for that.  The road is gravel and poorly maintained, I'm usually filthy when I get off work.  If I was to buy a new truck it would be ruined in no time at all.  So, while the inside is trashed and the outside looks like crap, it runs like a champ."

"Ok, but your car is just a loan until I can get one for myself.  Understand?"

"Yup!"  I gave mom a hug, just because I could.  Damn!  I missed that.  Poor Ben.  I sure wish there were some hope there, but no matter how many times we ask Alex and Nicki, the answer never varies.  No hope at all for reconciling Ben and his parents.

Just shy of five, we shut the door on the truck, and put mom's suitcases and a few boxes in my, err mom's car.  Jake went inside to try to wash some of the sweat off of him, and he needed to use the phone to call around for a ride.  When he came out of the bathroom, mom called him into the living room. Which was the only basically untouched room in the entire house.

Mom patted the sofa cushion next to her saying, "Sit here next to me Jake.  I have something to talk to you about."

Jake warily sat next to mom, throwing me a scared look.  I know what he was thinking, he was sure that mom had seen me kiss him, or him ask for a kiss.

Mom smiled at him and patted his knee saying, "Jake, I've known you almost your entire life.  I know the struggles your family has gone through in the past few years, and I always wished there was some way I could help out.  But you know I don't have much money to spend.  I wont be needing my car, Derrick is giving me his car to use.  My car isn't the best, but with someone that can tinker around with it, I bet it's got a lot of miles left in her.  Your dad is great with anything with an engine, so ask him to help you keep it running, ok?"  And mom put the title into a very shocked young man hands.

Jake sat there completely without expression, and then the mom's words finally computed, and joy broke out all over!  He jumped up, and sat down, and jumped up again, he turned towards me, and back to mom!  After sagging onto the sofa again, I thought I saw a hint of tears in his eyes.  And when he spoke I was sure he was fighting back tears, "I don't have words to explain what this car means to me.  Finally I can get a part time job and help out, even if I just buy my clothing and help out on the food bill, it will be a huge weight off mom and dad.  Ever since mom fell sick, we have been barely making ends meet.  I'll need a phone number, if that's ok with you Mrs. Roberts.  I'm sure my dad will want to talk to you."

Mom patted his knee and got up to get a pad of paper, and had me write down my address and the house phone number.  While mom was out of the room Jake said, "Thank you!  I know this was your idea, yeah?"

"Yeah. And just to put your mind at ease, before you asked for a kiss, ok?"

"Ok.  That thought never entered my head, but thanks for telling me."

"Mom?  Are you ready?  We really need to get going."

"Just a moment, I'll be right out."

"Ok!"

"Jake, it was really nice meeting you.  Keep in touch with us, ok?"

"Really?  Sure!"

"Umm Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm in a relationship, ok?  I just want us to be friends, nothing more."

"Oh, yeah….ok sure."

"Hey, don't get all gloomy on me.  Friends are valuable items!  You can't ever have to many friends."

"I know, I know."  Jake looked rather down for a minute, and then he brighten up and asked, "Could you give me your email addy?  I can email from the library."

"Sure!"  I took the paper and added my email to the list of stuff already on there.  "Here ya go."  "MOM!  Unless you want a big ugly scene with Tim we gotta roll and now!"

"Ok, ok.  Keep your shirt on, geez!  I'm ready."

Mom and I both gave Jake a hug good-bye and then I helped mom into the cab of the truck.  Traffic was starting to get rather thick, so we really couldn't talk much.  I pulled into the rental lot, parked and helped mom out of the truck.

"Are you ready?"

Mom had a gleam in her eye that I haven't seen in ages.  She grinned and said, "Let's drive sonny, let's drive!"

"Ok!"

I waited for a lull in the traffic and then, we were on our way!  We stopped at the same diner along the way that I had stopped in on the way to mom's.  We ordered dinner, and throughly enjoyed getting to know each other again.  Before we left, while mom was in the restroom, I called home to give them an update.  Abby said the spare room was clean and prettied up for mom. Could I get any luckier?  I sure don't see how!

Two hours later we pulled into our street.  I needed to park the truck in the driveway, so Ben had already moved all the cars and my truck around so everything would fit.  As soon as mom pulled into the driveway and shut the engine off, Abby and Ben were there to welcome her, which I'm sure help allay her fears of being in the way.  Ben and Abby greeted me with kisses and hugs.  I was kinda stiff at first kissing Ben in front of mom, but then relaxed, she was going to have to learn how to deal with seeing us affectionate anyway, what better time than the present?  Abby herded us all into the house.  Ohhhh something smelled wonderful!

"Abby? What's that fabulous smell?"

"Hahaha!  I made oatmeal raisin cookies.  I take it you like?"

"Like? No!  I love!  Give me a hug, you cookie maker you."

We sat at the table and had cookies.  Everyone else had their cookies with coffee,  I have no idea what's that about.  I mean cookies with coffee, sigh just stop trying to be an adult so hard, and just admit they taste so much better with milk!  I of course had my cookies with milk, a lot of milk, and a sandwich that somehow Ben knew I needed…. I think these people know me to well.  After chatting and eating, I couldn't stop yawning, large jaw cracking, eye watering yawns.  Everyone was getting a good laugh out of them, when I staggered up from the table kissed everyone goodnight, and stumbled off to bed.  I think that I vaguely remember Ben coming in, but I'm not 100% sure of that to be honest, it could have just been a dream.

Abby smiled as she watched my Derrick leave the room.  She turned to me saying, "You raised a very wonderful guy.  He is possibly the sweetest person I have ever known.  Even after every thing he has dealt with in the past, his heart is open, and surprisingly willing to trust."

"Hey!  What about me?  I thought I was sweet?"

"Oh, honey you are!  Now stop fishing for compliments and go tuck Derrick in."

"Ok."

Abby sat playing with the crumbs on her plate.  There was a rather wistful expression on her face, that I didn't quite understand.  "Are you really ok Olivia, with us, the way we live I mean?"

"Yes I am, and do you know why?"  Abby shook her head no, just as Ben came back into the room and sat down.  "Because I can tell you both honestly love my Derrick.  Each of you loves him differently, but you both love, love my son, and for me that's all I care about.  If he is happy and is treated with love and respect, whose business of it to say anything against it?  Not mine.  If he is happy, then I am as well."

"Whoa!  You are one special person.  Now I see where Derrick gets his giant heart from."

Abby reached over and patted Ben's hand.  He quickly ducked his head down, but not quick enough, he was trying hard not to cry.  Oh!  Derrick told me that his worthless parents only wanted "perfect" children and in their quest had lost both of their sons.  Grrr!  What in the hell is wrong with some people?  The sad bus stops here, now!

I slapped my hand down on the table, and in rather firm voice said, "Ben?  Look at me!"  He lifted his face that was overflowing with his grief of being tossed away like a used tissue.  "Pay attention to me.  Derrick told me that Abby just recently fixed things up with her mom.  Did you know that Derrick feels guilty about having me back in his life?  No?  Well, he does.  So, if you'll accept me, I would be proud to call you son.  Now come over here and let me hug my boy for a while, ok?"

Ben came around the table and sank into my open arms.  I held him so very tightly, and kissed to top of his head dozens of times.  At one point I felt Ben relax into me, and then the tears came tearing out of him.  I held and rocked him, and kissed him, and let his pool of grief drain, safe in my arms.  Abby looked rather helpless and left out.  I smiled at her and said, "He needs a mom, and I'm happy to take the job."  Ben slowly ran down, until finally his pool was empty.  He tried to pull away from me, but I wasn't having any of that, I needed to have my say now.  "Abby could you get me a warm wash cloth and a pile of tissues?  Thanks!"  I held him close until Abby came back.  "Ok pretty boy, sit up and blow your nose and let me wipe your face."  He pulled his tear stained face from my sodden shirt, and he started to look embarrassed, and that is just what I didn't want!  He blew his nose several times, and I started gently wiping his face while telling him, "Your parents are the ones who are to be pitied.  To throw away a perfectly wonderful son, for nothing more than being afraid of being whispered about. To chose their religion over their very own flesh and blood son, that is sad indeed.  But what you need to know, is that from now on, I'm your mom, ok?  I want you to tell me the stories of your childhood, I want to know everything about you.  From this point on, you are my son.  Crying is what we humans do, it shows we have a heart and are capable of love.  And from the depths your tears came tearing out of, I can tell that you have a very large heart.  Never be embarrassed about crying, understand?"

Ben nodded his head, and shakily got up to throw his tissues away.  He got a long drink of water, came back to the table sat down next to me, reached for my hand and said, "And now I understand where Derrick gets his boundless love from.  I would be proud to call you mom."

"Good!  Now, if you don't mind, I think it's my bed time."

"Of course!  Come on mom, we'll show you to your room."  Ben patted my hand after saying this, and went into the hallway to grab my luggage.  After leaving my luggage on the floor of the closet for me, they both gave me a hug, and then closed the door on their way out.  I looked around the room, that would be my new home for a while until I could find a job and get back on my feet again.  Abby had put a beautiful bouquet of white daisies on the dresser, what a wonderful way to make me feel welcomed.  I changed into my nightgown, brushed my teeth, and washed my face, and got my pillow out of the luggage.  

Laying down, and not moving for the first time since fairly early this morning, today began to wash over me.  Free!  I was free at last of Tim and even better was that I had my precious Derrick back.  For the millionth time I laid in a dark room questioning my staying with that heartless man.  All he loved was to control people, why oh why had I allowed him into my life?  Sighing at how lonely and weak I was at that point in time.  Then his strength and his will seemed like a godsend.  I was so tired of fighting along on my own.  Barely making it from paycheck to paycheck, and I truly thought that Derrick needed a dad, he seemed so perfect, at first.  It wasn't until later when his demands kept spiraling up and up and up, without any chance of Derrick ever meeting these impossible and constantly moving goals.  But after he caught Derrick with his boy friend life was never the same for my boy, and the light went out of his eyes, his joy for life just dried up.

Hot silent tears streaked from my eyes, why why why did I ever allow Tim to pull my Derrick away from me?  Trying to get a grip on myself, the knowledge that Derrick came back, he came back because he missed me, he loves me, still…….how on earth he didn't learn to despise me along with Tim, I'll never know, all that matters is that he came back, and cared enough to take me home with him!  What a nice couple Abby and Ben are!  It was rather odd seeing Derrick and Ben kiss though.  Derrick seemed rather worried about kissing Ben with me watching.  I've got to get a handle on this, the last thing I want is to dig a trench now when our relationship is still so new.

This bed is really very comfortable………