Posted on 5:34 PM | By Biki Honko | In
Entering the bookstore, I glanced at my watch, only 30 minutes to find myself a cookbook, time to call for help. Walking up to the help desk, I explain what I need, and the lady behind the counter whisks me off through the aisles of books, before coming to a rather abrupt halt. She quickly picks up and discards several books before finding a few that seem to please her.
"So, can you cook at all?" Her look reminds me of my 5th grade teacher, Mrs. McDougal, a shrewd no nonsense kind of woman.
"Well, I make good scrambled eggs, grilled cheese and that is really all. Why?"
"So then no, you don't cook. What are you interested in making? Desserts? Dinners? I need more information so that you leave with the right book."
"Yeah, ok. I want to learn how to cook dinner." She glanced at my hand and noticed my wedding ring. I was expecting uncomfortable questions to follow, but she let it go.
"Either one of these two should be what you are looking for. The recipes are broken down step by step, and there are pictures showing how each major step should look."
Taking the books from her hands, and quickly glancing through them I am glad to see that they feature recipes for common dishes. Deciding to take both, I thank her and head for the check out counter. Which is blessedly free of customers. Walking out of the store, I check my watch and notice that I was in and out of the store in only 20 minutes! Score!
The morning passed surprisingly quickly, with one crisis after another to deal with. I had just finished a phone call, and was busy typing an email giving my client more detail than I had over the phone, when the alarm on my watch dinged. Lunch time with Abby! Hurriedly finishing the email, I dashed off to meet her. I grabbed the sack from the bookstore on my way out the door. Maybe she could help me choose the easiest recipe out of these two books. Abby, Abby, Abby, Abby..... ran thru my head as I hustled to the cafe. Stepping thru the cafe door, I spotted Abby instantly. Weaving between the crowded tables, I made my way to her, the happy look on her face when she spotted me, lifting my already full of love and happiness heart to overflowing. Reaching her side at last, I pulled her in for a hug that I never wanted to end. She felt so right in my arms, so soft and pliant, melting into me, filling my arms, my heart, and my life with her love.
Remembering where we were, I slowly let her slip from my arms. Giving her a chaste kiss before sitting down. Reaching my hand across the table to hold Abby's hand, even that small touch centering me, pulling me back to us, not me.
"Hi dearest you haven't been waiting very long for me I hope!"
"I just sat down when you came through the door. What's in the bag?"
"It turns out neither one of us can cook. So, I stopped at the book store for some super simple cookbooks."
"Let me see them. You don't do well on a diet of fast food at all. Does he understand that?"
"Yeah, neither does he, but he is more lost in the kitchen than I am."
"Ben? Do you have what you need to cook with?"
"Like what?"
"Sharp knives? Colander? Grater?"
"What's a colander?"
"The bowl with holes in it, I call it a strainer."
"Oh, no. And nothing that could be called sharp in the knife department either. Abby I wanna ask you something."
"Would you mind, would he mind, if I go to your..... home....ahh, his home....stop by on the way home from work and go thru the kitchen and see what you need?"
"Abby, how about you just call it Derrick's? And he can call our home, Abby's. Sound like a plan?"
"Yeah, that works for me. Oh, you wanted to ask me something?"
"Umm, yeah. I need your input on something about Derrick's home."
"What do you need?"
"I don't wanna tell you. I would rather you just see for yourself, to see if I am reading things correctly."
"Sure, are you sure that Derrick won't mind?"
"Nope, at least I don't think so. Why would he?"
"No reason I can think of, just worried about making him mad at me. That's all."
"He will be fine with it. Now enough about him and me, I asked you to lunch to talk about you. How are you dearest?"
"Fine. Well, last night I was getting kinda lonely. But, tomorrow night you will be back with me! Oh!!! I almost forgot! Guess what?"
Smiling at Abby's abrupt change in both demeanor and topic I asked, "What?"
"Becky's dog Splash, had her puppies!! There is an extra puppy that hasn't been sold yet..... Can we please, please have a puppy?"
Lifting Abby's hand to my mouth, I kissed her the inside of her wrist, where it gives her the tingles. Watching her squirm and sparkle, "Sure, a puppy sounds wonderful. Call her as soon as you get back to work. Ok? So, about what, 8 weeks from now we will have a puppy?"
"Yup! The left over puppy is a female, what do you want to call her?"
"Can we see her first before picking out a name? Seems to me like it would be much easier to think of a name after seeing her."
"Yeah, I think so too!"
The rest of lunch was spent in the mindless chatter that means so much more than what is being said. And all too soon, 12:05 rolled over us. Walking her to the corner, reminding her of Derrick's address, and gave her a kiss good-bye. I stood and watched her until her building swallowed her up. Strolling back to work, in no big hurry, I still had enough time to get back to work without hurrying, when my phone rang. Recognizing it as Derrick's ringtone, I quickly pulled my phone from my pocket.
"Hey! Isn't this kinda early for you to call? Didn't you lunch just start?"
"Yeah. But, lunch is short today, already ate and I need to get back to it quick. The shovel went down today, and it is all hands on deck. I'll be home late tonight. Hopefully not to late, maybe an hour at the most. Gotta go! Love ya."
And before I could even respond to him, he was gone. I felt as if I had been involved in a hit and run. Bruised and confused, not hurt.... just dazed. It took me a while to get my head back in the game at work, but once I did, the afternoon just flew by me, so much so that I was actually surprised how quickly the work day pulled to an end.
Driving... home? Yeah, this was my home also. Maybe this would still give me enough time to have Abby look at the kitchen, run and pick up what she says we need, grab the ingredients and still make supper? Hum, that sounds kinda hurried, well maybe it will be better to just get some take away. After working flat out he will be hungrier than usual, and that is saying something. Ribs? Yeah, ribs with all the extras, corn bread, cole slaw, mashed potatoes, gravy, fried corn, stewed tomatoes and green beans. Hum, and maybe pick up dessert? Cake? No, I think cookies and milk would make him smile.
I had just pulled out my door key, when Abby pulled into the parking lot. I quickly jogged out to her, and pointed her towards the visitor parking. Walking with her across the parking lot, I explained about Derrick being late for supper. I was relieved to have more time to show Abby the apartment and get her take on things.
Unlocking the door, I remembered to stop her in time, to pick up Derrick's rug inside the door. Placing the mat on his laundry basket, I allowed her to step ahead of me, into the apartment.
"So, does he really get undressed here in the hall? Why?"
"He is trying not to lose another security deposit by ruining the carpets. He comes home really dirty or so he says. I haven't yet seen him fresh from work, but looking at his clothes in the basket, he doesn't seem to be stretching the truth."
As Abby stepped into the living room, she stopped and slowly turned around. A look of confusion on her face.
"How long did he say he has lived here?"
"Almost 6 months."
"He doesn't really live here does he?"
"No he doesn't. I think he finally realized it last night. I want to make this a home for him Abby. A place that he actually lives, where he can be Derrick, before he comes to live with us. This might take longer for Derrick to be ready to move in with us, but I think it is important for him to build a life, before he comes in with us."
"I agree. How badly did that guy hurt him?"
"Right down to the quick and beyond. Before you get to poking thru the kitchen I have something else to show you." Grabbing Abby's hand, I led her to the bedroom. She actually looked slightly guilty being in Derrick's..... and my bedroom. Hugging her quickly, and then letting her go to open the closet doors. Looking in she at first just glanced and then did an actual double take.
"Ben? Why doesn't Derrick have any clothing?" She stepped up to the closet and at last noticing the few items hanging in there that were his. "He has two, no the one from last night so, three dress shirts? And the white one has seem better days. Two ties, and both of them are sad looking. Two pairs of nice trousers? A leather jacket. That is all?" Opening the drawers on the dresser she quickly went thru the drawers, with I am sure the same face I wore last night.
"Before you ask, money is not an issue with him. Abby, you need to take the guy shopping for clothes. I think we have our work cut out for us. We are going to have to make him realize that he is worthy of love, he is a good person, and that he comes to us, not empty handed without friends or an actual life, but a well rounded person. Can we do this?"
"You know what I think? I feel that all he needs is some positive attention and he will just bloom into who he has the potential to be. And yes! I will take him shopping! Duh! How about we do his clothes shopping and pick up what ever you need for the kitchen. Tomorrow is our group date, how about then?"
"No. I want this to be the two of you alone thing. I need to do some yard work this weekend, how about you two go, while I am doing that?"
"Are you sure about this Ben?"
"Yes. The spring yard work has to be done, and you don't enjoy working in the dirt like I do. You both need to get to know each other better. This allows me to get things done, without feeling guilty that you are in the house alone. In order for this to work Abby, you have to be friends with Derrick." Turning to her, taking her hands in mine, I looked in her eyes, holding my gaze steady, allowing her to see I was serious, "You need to love him Abby, and he needs to love you too. There is only one way for us not to get hurt, is if we all love each other." Leaning forward and lightly kissing Abby on the lips and continuing, "I want the both of you to be comfortable enough with each other to kiss, and hug, at the very least."
"The very least? Oh! You mean you want Derrick and I to.... ahh have sex? But, I thought that Derrick was umm, gay...."
"Yes dearest, he is. But, there are many shades of gay, not just girl off or on switch. And if I am having sex with you, and with him, what's wrong with you and him having sex?"
"How does he feel about this? I mean about him and me.... and sex?"
"We haven't gotten to that conversation yet. Abby? I want to have both of you in bed with me. Not all the time, but at least occasionally."
"What? No! I don't think I could do that! Not with a stranger in the bed........ oh! Ben? I'm not sure that no matter how much I come to love Derrick that I could enjoy having him in the bed with us.... it's just such a personal thing, sex I mean. I can't even begin to think how that would even work.... I mean, you would want Derrick to...... do what? While we are......"
"It won't happen for a while yet, but it's something I really want. And honestly, I think when the time is right it will feel completely natural, just one more way to express our love for each other."
Abby fell against me, hugging me to her tightly, "Ben, if that's what you want, I'll agree to at least think about it. But, right now? Yeah, it's a giant fat no. I don't want to share that part of you too! Can't I keep any part of you to myself?"
"Baby, I didn't say this is something I wanted all the time, just occasionally. And yes, I want us to have alone time together, just as much as you do. The learning curve on this is steep, but I think we can manage it. Come on, let's go to the living room and cuddle on the sofa for while, huh? Just give me time to change from work clothes first, ok?"
Quickly pulling on jeans and a long sleeved tee and a pair of trainers, I pulled her into the living room, and we plopped down on the sofa. Pulling her tightly against me, dropping kisses on her head, her cheek, and finally her lips. A fire erupted between us, surprising the both us with the intensity of the flame. Pushing Abby down onto the cushions of the sofa, I pushed up her shirt, and unhooked her bra. Caressing the soft flesh, licking around her nipples, flicking my tongue over and over her nipple, while my other hand was busy alternating between lightly rubbing her nipple, and tweaking it, switching between light touches and more intense touches. Quickly pulling sounds of delight from her throat, Abby began shifting underneath me. Feeling me hard up against her, she ran her hand down between us, and starting rubbing my cock in slow firm strokes thru my jeans. Unhh, oh god did that feel good. Capturing her lips our kisses were incandescent, she ran her hands around onto my ass, holding me tighter against her.
"Ben, I wanna. Please?" She was shifting under me quicker, her eyes full of both lust and love.
Groaning into her neck, I sat up saying, "I wanna too. Come to bed with me."
Clothes were strewn around the living room and into the bedroom. Falling onto the bed, running my hand between her legs finding her wet and as ready as I am. Pulling her up on me, she quickly impaled her self on me, a long groan of pleasure coming from her. Head back, riding me slowly, pausing when I am buried deep in her to grind against me. Lifting my hands to resume teasing her nipples, she stuttered in her stroke when I pinched and pulled her nipples. Rubbing the pad of her thumbs over my nipples knowing that they are connected directly it to my cock, suddenly her oh so slow speed was torture. Beginning to rise to meet her thrusts, she began to whimper. Dropping forward with her hands on the bed, she began to ride me harder and harder, pausing longer each time to grind hard against me. Knowing she was close, I grabbed her hips and began bringing her down harder and harder, and pushing up into her when she stopped to grind, until she stopped thrusting and just ground against me friction and pressure washing her over into climax, shuddering and whimpering her way into bliss. As she fell against me, I quickly finished off with only a few more fast and hard strokes. Laying in each others arms, heart to heart, joined in love, content, full, blissed out.
Laying next to Abby warm and drowsy and oh so content, I rolled my head over to get a glance of the clock. It was later than I realized.
"Abby? I can't lay here any longer. I need to get up and go pick up supper. I'm not sure what time Derrick is going to come home tonight, and I wanna surprise him with supper. And truthfully I don't think he is quite ready to see us together like this."
"Are you going to tell him what we did here today?"
I was honestly surprised with Abby's question answering, "Hell yes I am going to tell him! I am not going to lie to either one of you. Would you want me to lie to you? This is going to be hard enough as it is. If we start lying to each other we are doomed from the get go."
Abby looked as if I had just slapped her, "I'm so sorry Ben! I don't why I said that!"
"I do."
Surprised as hell at my response to her, "You do? Why?"
"Because you are jealous of him, plain and simple. And it is understandable. Do you really want this to work? Or is this just exercise in futility? I need to know right now, before this goes on any longer. You also need to know, if you want to call it off, I am not real sure if I will be coming back to you."
"What? Why?"
"Because I am beginning to have doubts about your true motives here. Did you just expect me to go out and get laid a few times? You should have known better if that is what you expected. I am not built for just emotionless hookups, as you well know. Tell me the truth!"
"I.... well... yeah, at the beginning I did think you would just go out and blow some steam off and come back and that would be that. But, when you came home in love, after only one night, I realized that my plans were blown all to hell. And then I met him and he is such a sweet guy. I don't mean to be jealous! If I promise to work on it, will you come home tomorrow? Please?"
"Fucking hell! You played me! How could you?" I started pacing angrily around the bedroom, furious beyond belief with her. "Listen up, I will be spending time alone with Derrick. Both in and out of bed. And you are just going to have to suck it up. I am not some damned toy to fight over."
Angry at how I felt she had played me, and in the end played Derrick, who would be an innocent causality in this...... game of Abby's. Storming out of the bedroom and into the living room, picking up our clothes and carrying them back into the bedroom, throwing them down on the bed.
"Get dressed and get out. I am going to take a shower. Be gone by the time I get out." Picking thru the discarded clothing pulling out mine, tossing hers to her. Walking to the shower, saying as I left the room, "And if you want to see me tomorrow? Don't fucking call me tonight!"
Drying off after a very unsatisfactory shower, I stalked to the bedroom, still full of anger. Pulling on my clothes, fuming over Abby's actions, stripping the dirty sheets off, and making the bed up with clean sheets. Tossing the dirty sheets in the washer, along with some towels, running the last few days back and forth over the mental movie screen looking for what in the hell had happened. I grabbed my keys and took off to pick up Derrick's dinner. Hearing the ding of my low fuel warning, grrrr! What in the hell is up with this afternoon? Pulling into a gas station I quickly filled up my tank, then sprinted in to pay. As I entered the store, I ran right into a line of people waiting to pay. Shit! Man, I gotta just get a grip and calm down. Trying to get my mind away from Abby, I wandered my eyes around the store, when what did my eyes land on? Oh yeah, condoms!
Turning to the guy behind me I asked, "Hey man, would you hold my place for a moment? I'll make it quick."
"Sure, whatever. But, if the line moves while you are gone, so is your place."
I sprinted over to the condoms, quickly looking them over, and picked up a box, and was back in line before it moved. Seeing what I had run off for, guy behind me gave me a grin. Faster than before, the line started to quickly move. And before I knew it, I had paid and was out the door. Luckily the rib place was only a short distance up the road, and when I arrived it was blessedly uncrowded. Looking at the menu written over the cashier, and the tacked up containers, trying to decide how much to buy. Humm, well he seems to eat double the amount of a single serving. But, if he is really hungry, would that be enough? I would buy him three servings and one for me. That should surely be enough! While I was waiting for them to fill my order, I checked the time. Great! I should have enough time to stop by the bakery and pick up some cookies for dessert.
Get him clean, full, and then maybe by then I will be calm enough to go over what happened today.... How in the hell had everything turned to shit that quickly? I do not know, but hopefully things will get back on some sort of an even keel.
The bakery was full, but surprisingly I was back in my car in a short order. Not knowing for sure what kind of cookies he liked, I bought a dozen different cookies. Driving home, I was beginning to calm down, tension was draining from my shoulders, and the knot in my stomach was loosing up. But, what was I going to tell him? I mean really? Hey, yeah Abby? She is super jealous of you and me, and was totally playing me? Oh that would go over well. Hopefully I would have one of those miraculous moments where your brain just seems to work right, and your mouth can do no wrong.
Pulling into the apartment complex, I was happy to see that Derrick wasn't home yet. It would give me time to get everything ready. I would use the two cookbooks to decide what kind of kitchen things we needed. It surprises me how excited I am about cooking. Maybe we could take one of those cooking classes together? That could be fun! Turning the oven on to warm I began unloading the containers in to the oven to keep warm until Derrick came home. The salads in the fridge, and the cookies on the counter. Remembering the laundry I went to change the load over to the dryer. Back in the kitchen, I set out plates and forks and tons of napkins. Checking my watch, humm only about 20 minutes or so until his first possible return time. What to do?? Watch some tv? Nah, he doesn't have cable, and the only thing I like to watch at this time of the evening is sports.... Hey, I could give his XboX a try. Putting in a game that looked fun, I was totally engrossed in the game to the point, I didn't hear Derrick open the door.
"Hello!"
"Oh! You surprised me! Kinda lost track of time playing this game." I got off the sofa to get my first look at how dirty Derrick really was at the end of his work day. Really, really dirty! Wow!
"Yup, best time wasters ever invented by man." By this time he was down to his boxers. I stepped closer to get a kiss, and I caught a weird smell on him, oddly sweet mixed with an oil odor?
"What is that smell?"
"Stupid hydraulic fluid. Or it could be transmission fluid, or the ton of grease I had to lay in to weld a frame crack. What is that wonderful smell?"
"Dinner. I stopped by and picked up ribs. Sound good?"
"Hell ya! I can almost eat my weight in ribs. I'll wash as fast as I can. Wanna keep me company?"
"Sure!" I leaned in for a cautious kiss. Not touching me except for my lips, it was a oddly sensual kiss. Breaking the kiss, I heard his stomach grumble in complaint, it had smelled dinner and wanted to be fed now.
"You like cookies?"
"Cookies? Oh yeah! What kind did you get?"
"Umm, lemon, chocolate with cranberries, chocolate chip, vanilla with cherries, vanilla sandwich cookies, ginger bread, snicker-doodles, sugar cookie with icing, pineapple with macadamia nuts, brownies, one with nuts, one without nuts, and one with nuts and frosting."
"Having a couldn't decide moment were we?"
"No, I had no idea what kind of cookies you like, so I played it safe and got a bunch of them."
I was leaning against the sink listening to him replay his day. With many frequent interruptions from me, trying to understand what he was telling me. Finally he was finished, and opened the shower curtain.
"Do you want me to shave?"
"No, you're cute with stubble. I'll go get dinner ready."
"You're leaving, before I'm dressed?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"Cause if I don't leave now, dinner will be late. And from what you stomach keeps saying, it's hungry." Lightly brushing his cock with the back of my hand, feeling it jump to attention, "Eat now, fun later." And I quickly left the bathroom before I could change my mind.
By the time Derrick had thrown on a pair of sweat pants, I had all the food on the table and opened. Grabbing two bottles of beer from the fridge as he came into the kitchen, as he turned and saw the table the surprise on his face was clear.
"Damn! Did you buy the restaurant out?"
"Nearly! This is the Derrick special." As we loaded our plates, and began eating, our conversation was light and cheerful. Teasing each other about barbeque sauce on our chins, the piles of bones we were accumulating next to our plates, silly stuff to be sure. But it sure felt good to us, to just be together and share a meal. Finally, long after I had stopped eating, Derrick pushed away from the table.
"Man! That was great! They make some great ribs! The sauce was vinegary, and spicy, heaven! And the guy who brought me a super dinner is pretty special too!"
I was grinning from ear to ear, "Thanks! Is there enough left over for your lunch tomorrow?"
"Ya know? I don't think so. Don't worry it will make a great snack tomorrow night."
We worked together getting everything put away, and the few dishes. cleaned and put away, and all to soon, everything was cleaned up. Why too soon? Because I truly didn't have a clue on how to go about telling him about today and everything that happened.
Derrick took my hand and led me into the living room, and after we sat down he asked, "So, you wanna talk about it? Something has you all wound up."
"Damn! I was having the best day ever, until after work. I spent lunch with Abby, and she mentioned about helping me figure out what we needed to buy for the kitchen. I thought it would be fun to learn to cook, and actually bought two cook books today." Looking down at our clasped hands, I took a big breath and continued, "She came over and looked around the apartment...... umm we had sex, and then got in a really big fight. She has been playing me Derrick! She thought that I would be happy playing around some, and I would get it out of my system or something and then happy being only with her again. I'm so sorry."
"Hey, hey it's gonna be ok." Derrick smiled gently at me. "Let me help you get your stuff packed up, ok? If you go back to her tonight, I bet it will smooth everything over." Derrick's eyes shimmered with unshed tears. Getting up from the sofa, he held his hand to me, "Come on, it won't take long and you can be on your way back home."
"NO! I am not going home tonight! This is your night, not hers! If our marriage blows apart, it will be her fault, not mine. I was nothing but truthful with her. It was Abby that wasn't honest." Running out of words, I just kinda ran down. The roller coaster that today was or still is, had drained me. Looking up at where Derrick was still standing saying softly, "Hey, sit down here with me please?"
Derrick stood for a moment longer, gazing at me with the saddest look, before he sat down. But, not cuddly close, he left a cushion between us, he sat quiet long enough for nerves to begin to flutter and twist my stomach. Finally in a very low controlled voice he said, "Ben, I understand if you want to go. Have you really thought this through? As much as I love you, if it comes down to it, I would rather you go to Abby. With her you can start the family you want. With me? It would have to be adoption, and we would have to wait years. So, come on, let's get your stuff gathered up and get you out of here."
As Derrick started to stand up, I caught his arm saying, "No, I don't want to go. Do you really want me to go?" Derrick shook his head no, the tears were shimmering in his eyes again. "Derrick, I love you. I meant that. I still love Abby, just very mad at her right at this moment. This is the first big lie I have caught her in, and it hurts. Are we ok?"
Derrick didn't trust his voice quite yet, so he just nodded. That unsure nod, tore my heart open. Why did my choices have to cause him so much anguish? The last thing I want is to hurt him, and I seem to be hurting everyone.
Leaning in to lightly kiss his lips, "Derrick? I am so sorry. I never wanted this to get so..... messy. I was just being selfish, and stupid. I really thought that I could make this work. God, do I want this to work. The connection I feel with you, is the same way I feel with Abby. You two are the only ones I have ever felt this away about ever. And I don't want to give either of you up!" Running my fingers over his cheek, down into the stubble on his chin, lightly kissing him again, the thought of loosing him is to painful to even think about.
"I..... I.............." Derrick had been looking down and now he brought his eyes up to mine, his were swimming with unshed tears, and his pain was shattering my heart. "I want you. It seems like we have known each other forever, not just a few days. Can't you forgive her? The idea of sharing you with anyone after only knowing you a few days freezes my heart, I can't image what this must be doing to her."
"I never ever meant to hurt anyone. Now everyone I love is in pain I'm sorry, so so sorry!"
Jumping up from the couch, pacing back and forth across the floor, short steps, tapping my fingers on my thighs with every step. Quicker and quicker and quicker, back and forth across the length of the room. Tapping faster and faster and faster. My mind was a spinning mess, with no off ramp in sight. There had to be a way to stop hurting everyone! If only I could figure it out. Maybe the reason it is all falling to pieces is due to keeping Abby and Derrick apart? Maybe the best thing would be to grow into this together, have Derrick move in sooner than I had originally planned. Would that work? Yeah, I think that would, but still the whole question of sex..... Abby is so not ready for the three of us in bed together. I never did around to asking Derrick about sex with the three of us, or with Abby...
"So, can you cook at all?" Her look reminds me of my 5th grade teacher, Mrs. McDougal, a shrewd no nonsense kind of woman.
"Well, I make good scrambled eggs, grilled cheese and that is really all. Why?"
"So then no, you don't cook. What are you interested in making? Desserts? Dinners? I need more information so that you leave with the right book."
"Yeah, ok. I want to learn how to cook dinner." She glanced at my hand and noticed my wedding ring. I was expecting uncomfortable questions to follow, but she let it go.
"Either one of these two should be what you are looking for. The recipes are broken down step by step, and there are pictures showing how each major step should look."
Taking the books from her hands, and quickly glancing through them I am glad to see that they feature recipes for common dishes. Deciding to take both, I thank her and head for the check out counter. Which is blessedly free of customers. Walking out of the store, I check my watch and notice that I was in and out of the store in only 20 minutes! Score!
The morning passed surprisingly quickly, with one crisis after another to deal with. I had just finished a phone call, and was busy typing an email giving my client more detail than I had over the phone, when the alarm on my watch dinged. Lunch time with Abby! Hurriedly finishing the email, I dashed off to meet her. I grabbed the sack from the bookstore on my way out the door. Maybe she could help me choose the easiest recipe out of these two books. Abby, Abby, Abby, Abby..... ran thru my head as I hustled to the cafe. Stepping thru the cafe door, I spotted Abby instantly. Weaving between the crowded tables, I made my way to her, the happy look on her face when she spotted me, lifting my already full of love and happiness heart to overflowing. Reaching her side at last, I pulled her in for a hug that I never wanted to end. She felt so right in my arms, so soft and pliant, melting into me, filling my arms, my heart, and my life with her love.
Remembering where we were, I slowly let her slip from my arms. Giving her a chaste kiss before sitting down. Reaching my hand across the table to hold Abby's hand, even that small touch centering me, pulling me back to us, not me.
"Hi dearest you haven't been waiting very long for me I hope!"
"I just sat down when you came through the door. What's in the bag?"
"It turns out neither one of us can cook. So, I stopped at the book store for some super simple cookbooks."
"Let me see them. You don't do well on a diet of fast food at all. Does he understand that?"
"Yeah, neither does he, but he is more lost in the kitchen than I am."
"Ben? Do you have what you need to cook with?"
"Like what?"
"Sharp knives? Colander? Grater?"
"What's a colander?"
"The bowl with holes in it, I call it a strainer."
"Oh, no. And nothing that could be called sharp in the knife department either. Abby I wanna ask you something."
"Would you mind, would he mind, if I go to your..... home....ahh, his home....stop by on the way home from work and go thru the kitchen and see what you need?"
"Abby, how about you just call it Derrick's? And he can call our home, Abby's. Sound like a plan?"
"Yeah, that works for me. Oh, you wanted to ask me something?"
"Umm, yeah. I need your input on something about Derrick's home."
"What do you need?"
"I don't wanna tell you. I would rather you just see for yourself, to see if I am reading things correctly."
"Sure, are you sure that Derrick won't mind?"
"Nope, at least I don't think so. Why would he?"
"No reason I can think of, just worried about making him mad at me. That's all."
"He will be fine with it. Now enough about him and me, I asked you to lunch to talk about you. How are you dearest?"
"Fine. Well, last night I was getting kinda lonely. But, tomorrow night you will be back with me! Oh!!! I almost forgot! Guess what?"
Smiling at Abby's abrupt change in both demeanor and topic I asked, "What?"
"Becky's dog Splash, had her puppies!! There is an extra puppy that hasn't been sold yet..... Can we please, please have a puppy?"
Lifting Abby's hand to my mouth, I kissed her the inside of her wrist, where it gives her the tingles. Watching her squirm and sparkle, "Sure, a puppy sounds wonderful. Call her as soon as you get back to work. Ok? So, about what, 8 weeks from now we will have a puppy?"
"Yup! The left over puppy is a female, what do you want to call her?"
"Can we see her first before picking out a name? Seems to me like it would be much easier to think of a name after seeing her."
"Yeah, I think so too!"
The rest of lunch was spent in the mindless chatter that means so much more than what is being said. And all too soon, 12:05 rolled over us. Walking her to the corner, reminding her of Derrick's address, and gave her a kiss good-bye. I stood and watched her until her building swallowed her up. Strolling back to work, in no big hurry, I still had enough time to get back to work without hurrying, when my phone rang. Recognizing it as Derrick's ringtone, I quickly pulled my phone from my pocket.
"Hey! Isn't this kinda early for you to call? Didn't you lunch just start?"
"Yeah. But, lunch is short today, already ate and I need to get back to it quick. The shovel went down today, and it is all hands on deck. I'll be home late tonight. Hopefully not to late, maybe an hour at the most. Gotta go! Love ya."
And before I could even respond to him, he was gone. I felt as if I had been involved in a hit and run. Bruised and confused, not hurt.... just dazed. It took me a while to get my head back in the game at work, but once I did, the afternoon just flew by me, so much so that I was actually surprised how quickly the work day pulled to an end.
Driving... home? Yeah, this was my home also. Maybe this would still give me enough time to have Abby look at the kitchen, run and pick up what she says we need, grab the ingredients and still make supper? Hum, that sounds kinda hurried, well maybe it will be better to just get some take away. After working flat out he will be hungrier than usual, and that is saying something. Ribs? Yeah, ribs with all the extras, corn bread, cole slaw, mashed potatoes, gravy, fried corn, stewed tomatoes and green beans. Hum, and maybe pick up dessert? Cake? No, I think cookies and milk would make him smile.
I had just pulled out my door key, when Abby pulled into the parking lot. I quickly jogged out to her, and pointed her towards the visitor parking. Walking with her across the parking lot, I explained about Derrick being late for supper. I was relieved to have more time to show Abby the apartment and get her take on things.
Unlocking the door, I remembered to stop her in time, to pick up Derrick's rug inside the door. Placing the mat on his laundry basket, I allowed her to step ahead of me, into the apartment.
"So, does he really get undressed here in the hall? Why?"
"He is trying not to lose another security deposit by ruining the carpets. He comes home really dirty or so he says. I haven't yet seen him fresh from work, but looking at his clothes in the basket, he doesn't seem to be stretching the truth."
As Abby stepped into the living room, she stopped and slowly turned around. A look of confusion on her face.
"How long did he say he has lived here?"
"Almost 6 months."
"He doesn't really live here does he?"
"No he doesn't. I think he finally realized it last night. I want to make this a home for him Abby. A place that he actually lives, where he can be Derrick, before he comes to live with us. This might take longer for Derrick to be ready to move in with us, but I think it is important for him to build a life, before he comes in with us."
"I agree. How badly did that guy hurt him?"
"Right down to the quick and beyond. Before you get to poking thru the kitchen I have something else to show you." Grabbing Abby's hand, I led her to the bedroom. She actually looked slightly guilty being in Derrick's..... and my bedroom. Hugging her quickly, and then letting her go to open the closet doors. Looking in she at first just glanced and then did an actual double take.
"Ben? Why doesn't Derrick have any clothing?" She stepped up to the closet and at last noticing the few items hanging in there that were his. "He has two, no the one from last night so, three dress shirts? And the white one has seem better days. Two ties, and both of them are sad looking. Two pairs of nice trousers? A leather jacket. That is all?" Opening the drawers on the dresser she quickly went thru the drawers, with I am sure the same face I wore last night.
"Before you ask, money is not an issue with him. Abby, you need to take the guy shopping for clothes. I think we have our work cut out for us. We are going to have to make him realize that he is worthy of love, he is a good person, and that he comes to us, not empty handed without friends or an actual life, but a well rounded person. Can we do this?"
"You know what I think? I feel that all he needs is some positive attention and he will just bloom into who he has the potential to be. And yes! I will take him shopping! Duh! How about we do his clothes shopping and pick up what ever you need for the kitchen. Tomorrow is our group date, how about then?"
"No. I want this to be the two of you alone thing. I need to do some yard work this weekend, how about you two go, while I am doing that?"
"Are you sure about this Ben?"
"Yes. The spring yard work has to be done, and you don't enjoy working in the dirt like I do. You both need to get to know each other better. This allows me to get things done, without feeling guilty that you are in the house alone. In order for this to work Abby, you have to be friends with Derrick." Turning to her, taking her hands in mine, I looked in her eyes, holding my gaze steady, allowing her to see I was serious, "You need to love him Abby, and he needs to love you too. There is only one way for us not to get hurt, is if we all love each other." Leaning forward and lightly kissing Abby on the lips and continuing, "I want the both of you to be comfortable enough with each other to kiss, and hug, at the very least."
"The very least? Oh! You mean you want Derrick and I to.... ahh have sex? But, I thought that Derrick was umm, gay...."
"Yes dearest, he is. But, there are many shades of gay, not just girl off or on switch. And if I am having sex with you, and with him, what's wrong with you and him having sex?"
"How does he feel about this? I mean about him and me.... and sex?"
"We haven't gotten to that conversation yet. Abby? I want to have both of you in bed with me. Not all the time, but at least occasionally."
"What? No! I don't think I could do that! Not with a stranger in the bed........ oh! Ben? I'm not sure that no matter how much I come to love Derrick that I could enjoy having him in the bed with us.... it's just such a personal thing, sex I mean. I can't even begin to think how that would even work.... I mean, you would want Derrick to...... do what? While we are......"
"It won't happen for a while yet, but it's something I really want. And honestly, I think when the time is right it will feel completely natural, just one more way to express our love for each other."
Abby fell against me, hugging me to her tightly, "Ben, if that's what you want, I'll agree to at least think about it. But, right now? Yeah, it's a giant fat no. I don't want to share that part of you too! Can't I keep any part of you to myself?"
"Baby, I didn't say this is something I wanted all the time, just occasionally. And yes, I want us to have alone time together, just as much as you do. The learning curve on this is steep, but I think we can manage it. Come on, let's go to the living room and cuddle on the sofa for while, huh? Just give me time to change from work clothes first, ok?"
Quickly pulling on jeans and a long sleeved tee and a pair of trainers, I pulled her into the living room, and we plopped down on the sofa. Pulling her tightly against me, dropping kisses on her head, her cheek, and finally her lips. A fire erupted between us, surprising the both us with the intensity of the flame. Pushing Abby down onto the cushions of the sofa, I pushed up her shirt, and unhooked her bra. Caressing the soft flesh, licking around her nipples, flicking my tongue over and over her nipple, while my other hand was busy alternating between lightly rubbing her nipple, and tweaking it, switching between light touches and more intense touches. Quickly pulling sounds of delight from her throat, Abby began shifting underneath me. Feeling me hard up against her, she ran her hand down between us, and starting rubbing my cock in slow firm strokes thru my jeans. Unhh, oh god did that feel good. Capturing her lips our kisses were incandescent, she ran her hands around onto my ass, holding me tighter against her.
"Ben, I wanna. Please?" She was shifting under me quicker, her eyes full of both lust and love.
Groaning into her neck, I sat up saying, "I wanna too. Come to bed with me."
Clothes were strewn around the living room and into the bedroom. Falling onto the bed, running my hand between her legs finding her wet and as ready as I am. Pulling her up on me, she quickly impaled her self on me, a long groan of pleasure coming from her. Head back, riding me slowly, pausing when I am buried deep in her to grind against me. Lifting my hands to resume teasing her nipples, she stuttered in her stroke when I pinched and pulled her nipples. Rubbing the pad of her thumbs over my nipples knowing that they are connected directly it to my cock, suddenly her oh so slow speed was torture. Beginning to rise to meet her thrusts, she began to whimper. Dropping forward with her hands on the bed, she began to ride me harder and harder, pausing longer each time to grind hard against me. Knowing she was close, I grabbed her hips and began bringing her down harder and harder, and pushing up into her when she stopped to grind, until she stopped thrusting and just ground against me friction and pressure washing her over into climax, shuddering and whimpering her way into bliss. As she fell against me, I quickly finished off with only a few more fast and hard strokes. Laying in each others arms, heart to heart, joined in love, content, full, blissed out.
Laying next to Abby warm and drowsy and oh so content, I rolled my head over to get a glance of the clock. It was later than I realized.
"Abby? I can't lay here any longer. I need to get up and go pick up supper. I'm not sure what time Derrick is going to come home tonight, and I wanna surprise him with supper. And truthfully I don't think he is quite ready to see us together like this."
"Are you going to tell him what we did here today?"
I was honestly surprised with Abby's question answering, "Hell yes I am going to tell him! I am not going to lie to either one of you. Would you want me to lie to you? This is going to be hard enough as it is. If we start lying to each other we are doomed from the get go."
Abby looked as if I had just slapped her, "I'm so sorry Ben! I don't why I said that!"
"I do."
Surprised as hell at my response to her, "You do? Why?"
"Because you are jealous of him, plain and simple. And it is understandable. Do you really want this to work? Or is this just exercise in futility? I need to know right now, before this goes on any longer. You also need to know, if you want to call it off, I am not real sure if I will be coming back to you."
"What? Why?"
"Because I am beginning to have doubts about your true motives here. Did you just expect me to go out and get laid a few times? You should have known better if that is what you expected. I am not built for just emotionless hookups, as you well know. Tell me the truth!"
"I.... well... yeah, at the beginning I did think you would just go out and blow some steam off and come back and that would be that. But, when you came home in love, after only one night, I realized that my plans were blown all to hell. And then I met him and he is such a sweet guy. I don't mean to be jealous! If I promise to work on it, will you come home tomorrow? Please?"
"Fucking hell! You played me! How could you?" I started pacing angrily around the bedroom, furious beyond belief with her. "Listen up, I will be spending time alone with Derrick. Both in and out of bed. And you are just going to have to suck it up. I am not some damned toy to fight over."
Angry at how I felt she had played me, and in the end played Derrick, who would be an innocent causality in this...... game of Abby's. Storming out of the bedroom and into the living room, picking up our clothes and carrying them back into the bedroom, throwing them down on the bed.
"Get dressed and get out. I am going to take a shower. Be gone by the time I get out." Picking thru the discarded clothing pulling out mine, tossing hers to her. Walking to the shower, saying as I left the room, "And if you want to see me tomorrow? Don't fucking call me tonight!"
Drying off after a very unsatisfactory shower, I stalked to the bedroom, still full of anger. Pulling on my clothes, fuming over Abby's actions, stripping the dirty sheets off, and making the bed up with clean sheets. Tossing the dirty sheets in the washer, along with some towels, running the last few days back and forth over the mental movie screen looking for what in the hell had happened. I grabbed my keys and took off to pick up Derrick's dinner. Hearing the ding of my low fuel warning, grrrr! What in the hell is up with this afternoon? Pulling into a gas station I quickly filled up my tank, then sprinted in to pay. As I entered the store, I ran right into a line of people waiting to pay. Shit! Man, I gotta just get a grip and calm down. Trying to get my mind away from Abby, I wandered my eyes around the store, when what did my eyes land on? Oh yeah, condoms!
Turning to the guy behind me I asked, "Hey man, would you hold my place for a moment? I'll make it quick."
"Sure, whatever. But, if the line moves while you are gone, so is your place."
I sprinted over to the condoms, quickly looking them over, and picked up a box, and was back in line before it moved. Seeing what I had run off for, guy behind me gave me a grin. Faster than before, the line started to quickly move. And before I knew it, I had paid and was out the door. Luckily the rib place was only a short distance up the road, and when I arrived it was blessedly uncrowded. Looking at the menu written over the cashier, and the tacked up containers, trying to decide how much to buy. Humm, well he seems to eat double the amount of a single serving. But, if he is really hungry, would that be enough? I would buy him three servings and one for me. That should surely be enough! While I was waiting for them to fill my order, I checked the time. Great! I should have enough time to stop by the bakery and pick up some cookies for dessert.
Get him clean, full, and then maybe by then I will be calm enough to go over what happened today.... How in the hell had everything turned to shit that quickly? I do not know, but hopefully things will get back on some sort of an even keel.
The bakery was full, but surprisingly I was back in my car in a short order. Not knowing for sure what kind of cookies he liked, I bought a dozen different cookies. Driving home, I was beginning to calm down, tension was draining from my shoulders, and the knot in my stomach was loosing up. But, what was I going to tell him? I mean really? Hey, yeah Abby? She is super jealous of you and me, and was totally playing me? Oh that would go over well. Hopefully I would have one of those miraculous moments where your brain just seems to work right, and your mouth can do no wrong.
Pulling into the apartment complex, I was happy to see that Derrick wasn't home yet. It would give me time to get everything ready. I would use the two cookbooks to decide what kind of kitchen things we needed. It surprises me how excited I am about cooking. Maybe we could take one of those cooking classes together? That could be fun! Turning the oven on to warm I began unloading the containers in to the oven to keep warm until Derrick came home. The salads in the fridge, and the cookies on the counter. Remembering the laundry I went to change the load over to the dryer. Back in the kitchen, I set out plates and forks and tons of napkins. Checking my watch, humm only about 20 minutes or so until his first possible return time. What to do?? Watch some tv? Nah, he doesn't have cable, and the only thing I like to watch at this time of the evening is sports.... Hey, I could give his XboX a try. Putting in a game that looked fun, I was totally engrossed in the game to the point, I didn't hear Derrick open the door.
"Hello!"
"Oh! You surprised me! Kinda lost track of time playing this game." I got off the sofa to get my first look at how dirty Derrick really was at the end of his work day. Really, really dirty! Wow!
"Yup, best time wasters ever invented by man." By this time he was down to his boxers. I stepped closer to get a kiss, and I caught a weird smell on him, oddly sweet mixed with an oil odor?
"What is that smell?"
"Stupid hydraulic fluid. Or it could be transmission fluid, or the ton of grease I had to lay in to weld a frame crack. What is that wonderful smell?"
"Dinner. I stopped by and picked up ribs. Sound good?"
"Hell ya! I can almost eat my weight in ribs. I'll wash as fast as I can. Wanna keep me company?"
"Sure!" I leaned in for a cautious kiss. Not touching me except for my lips, it was a oddly sensual kiss. Breaking the kiss, I heard his stomach grumble in complaint, it had smelled dinner and wanted to be fed now.
"You like cookies?"
"Cookies? Oh yeah! What kind did you get?"
"Umm, lemon, chocolate with cranberries, chocolate chip, vanilla with cherries, vanilla sandwich cookies, ginger bread, snicker-doodles, sugar cookie with icing, pineapple with macadamia nuts, brownies, one with nuts, one without nuts, and one with nuts and frosting."
"Having a couldn't decide moment were we?"
"No, I had no idea what kind of cookies you like, so I played it safe and got a bunch of them."
I was leaning against the sink listening to him replay his day. With many frequent interruptions from me, trying to understand what he was telling me. Finally he was finished, and opened the shower curtain.
"Do you want me to shave?"
"No, you're cute with stubble. I'll go get dinner ready."
"You're leaving, before I'm dressed?"
"Yeah."
"Why?"
"Cause if I don't leave now, dinner will be late. And from what you stomach keeps saying, it's hungry." Lightly brushing his cock with the back of my hand, feeling it jump to attention, "Eat now, fun later." And I quickly left the bathroom before I could change my mind.
By the time Derrick had thrown on a pair of sweat pants, I had all the food on the table and opened. Grabbing two bottles of beer from the fridge as he came into the kitchen, as he turned and saw the table the surprise on his face was clear.
"Damn! Did you buy the restaurant out?"
"Nearly! This is the Derrick special." As we loaded our plates, and began eating, our conversation was light and cheerful. Teasing each other about barbeque sauce on our chins, the piles of bones we were accumulating next to our plates, silly stuff to be sure. But it sure felt good to us, to just be together and share a meal. Finally, long after I had stopped eating, Derrick pushed away from the table.
"Man! That was great! They make some great ribs! The sauce was vinegary, and spicy, heaven! And the guy who brought me a super dinner is pretty special too!"
I was grinning from ear to ear, "Thanks! Is there enough left over for your lunch tomorrow?"
"Ya know? I don't think so. Don't worry it will make a great snack tomorrow night."
We worked together getting everything put away, and the few dishes. cleaned and put away, and all to soon, everything was cleaned up. Why too soon? Because I truly didn't have a clue on how to go about telling him about today and everything that happened.
Derrick took my hand and led me into the living room, and after we sat down he asked, "So, you wanna talk about it? Something has you all wound up."
"Damn! I was having the best day ever, until after work. I spent lunch with Abby, and she mentioned about helping me figure out what we needed to buy for the kitchen. I thought it would be fun to learn to cook, and actually bought two cook books today." Looking down at our clasped hands, I took a big breath and continued, "She came over and looked around the apartment...... umm we had sex, and then got in a really big fight. She has been playing me Derrick! She thought that I would be happy playing around some, and I would get it out of my system or something and then happy being only with her again. I'm so sorry."
"Hey, hey it's gonna be ok." Derrick smiled gently at me. "Let me help you get your stuff packed up, ok? If you go back to her tonight, I bet it will smooth everything over." Derrick's eyes shimmered with unshed tears. Getting up from the sofa, he held his hand to me, "Come on, it won't take long and you can be on your way back home."
"NO! I am not going home tonight! This is your night, not hers! If our marriage blows apart, it will be her fault, not mine. I was nothing but truthful with her. It was Abby that wasn't honest." Running out of words, I just kinda ran down. The roller coaster that today was or still is, had drained me. Looking up at where Derrick was still standing saying softly, "Hey, sit down here with me please?"
Derrick stood for a moment longer, gazing at me with the saddest look, before he sat down. But, not cuddly close, he left a cushion between us, he sat quiet long enough for nerves to begin to flutter and twist my stomach. Finally in a very low controlled voice he said, "Ben, I understand if you want to go. Have you really thought this through? As much as I love you, if it comes down to it, I would rather you go to Abby. With her you can start the family you want. With me? It would have to be adoption, and we would have to wait years. So, come on, let's get your stuff gathered up and get you out of here."
As Derrick started to stand up, I caught his arm saying, "No, I don't want to go. Do you really want me to go?" Derrick shook his head no, the tears were shimmering in his eyes again. "Derrick, I love you. I meant that. I still love Abby, just very mad at her right at this moment. This is the first big lie I have caught her in, and it hurts. Are we ok?"
Derrick didn't trust his voice quite yet, so he just nodded. That unsure nod, tore my heart open. Why did my choices have to cause him so much anguish? The last thing I want is to hurt him, and I seem to be hurting everyone.
Leaning in to lightly kiss his lips, "Derrick? I am so sorry. I never wanted this to get so..... messy. I was just being selfish, and stupid. I really thought that I could make this work. God, do I want this to work. The connection I feel with you, is the same way I feel with Abby. You two are the only ones I have ever felt this away about ever. And I don't want to give either of you up!" Running my fingers over his cheek, down into the stubble on his chin, lightly kissing him again, the thought of loosing him is to painful to even think about.
"I..... I.............." Derrick had been looking down and now he brought his eyes up to mine, his were swimming with unshed tears, and his pain was shattering my heart. "I want you. It seems like we have known each other forever, not just a few days. Can't you forgive her? The idea of sharing you with anyone after only knowing you a few days freezes my heart, I can't image what this must be doing to her."
"I never ever meant to hurt anyone. Now everyone I love is in pain I'm sorry, so so sorry!"
Jumping up from the couch, pacing back and forth across the floor, short steps, tapping my fingers on my thighs with every step. Quicker and quicker and quicker, back and forth across the length of the room. Tapping faster and faster and faster. My mind was a spinning mess, with no off ramp in sight. There had to be a way to stop hurting everyone! If only I could figure it out. Maybe the reason it is all falling to pieces is due to keeping Abby and Derrick apart? Maybe the best thing would be to grow into this together, have Derrick move in sooner than I had originally planned. Would that work? Yeah, I think that would, but still the whole question of sex..... Abby is so not ready for the three of us in bed together. I never did around to asking Derrick about sex with the three of us, or with Abby...
oh the web we weave.... well done indeed .... were you in my head or just a fly on a wall ... lol .