A Day with Mom

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Posted on 7:21 PM | By Biki Honko | In

Zzzt…..Zzzt……Zzzt….Zzzt…….Zzzt……..

When the alarm shrilled at me, I was at first confused as to why my alarm was waking me up…..oh crap, I forgot and set it even though I had today off. Trying to decide if I should go ahead and get up, a warm and sleepy Ben rolled over and snuggled up against my chest, throwing his arm over my waist, pillowing his head on my arm.  He smiled sweetly, damn is he cute!  I wrapped my arms around him tighter and dropped kisses on the top of his head.  Ben smelled so amazing when he first woke up, kinda like…..hmmm, I'm not really sure, but whatever it is, I love it.  When the urge to pee grew to great to ignore any longer, I regretfully got up, and Ben tagged along. I was pulling open the dresser drawer, when Ben nudged it shut with his hip and drew me back into bed.  Snuggling up to me, he softly kissed me, wrapped his arms around me, and threw his leg over mine to get even closer.

Ben whispered into my ear, "I love you."

"Oh babe, I love you too."

"You horny?"

"How can I not be with you in my arms?"

Ben sighed, "Yeah, me too.  We're kind outta rooms here.  Well, the office is free, but its right next door to your mom's room………."

"And neither one of us are that quiet, yeah…..  I'm sorry Ben, but I had to get her out of there.  There was no way I could leave her after I saw the bruises on her arms.  I'm worried about the bruising that is hidden under her clothing.  I know how effectively he tore me down, made me feel like a worthless loser, and how long it took me to even begin to accept that I'm not worthless.  He's had a lot longer to work on her, tear her down, rip her to shreds."

"Babe, I'm glad you brought her home.  Your mom deserves to be happy, and safe and with people who love her.  No more apologizing, you did the right thing, for her, for you, for us.  We will all show your mom that she is a wonderful person, and that she is worthy of love."

I pulled Ben tight up against me, my throat was to full of tears to speak.  How lucky am I? I know, I know, stupid question to be sure.  For I have to be the luckiest person to have ever drawn breath.  Ben started rubbing his hand up and down my back slowly, and he was softly crooning a love song into my ear, interspersing his whispered singing with light barely there kisses on my cheek.  The dam broke and tears began leaking from my eyes.  Shit!  I really was trying so hard not to break down, but Ben knew I was on the edge of crying and my heart was full of tears that needed to be released.  Crying quietly into his shoulder with our arms wrapped around each other, I didn't feel less than a man about losing my grip on my emotions, and I know that Ben wasn't ashamed of me crying, all I did feel flowing from him was his love for me.

After I calmed down some, my stomach started complaining that it had been cruelly forgotten.  My stomach rumbled, and Ben chuckled, my stomach rumbled louder and Ben snickered.  Sigh…why is my being hungry all the time so damned funny?

"We better get up and feed that monster in there, before it starts eating you from the inside out.  Come on stud, shower time."

Ben shaved while the water warmed up, and I brushed my teeth.  Pulling me into the shower he positioned my back to the spray, sank to his knees and worked me over until I came in his mouth, moaning and softly thrusting into him.  After I caught my breath, and the ability to think, I wanted to reciprocate, but Ben wouldn't let me.  He explained that was something he wanted to do for me.  No strings, just love.  We washed each other, and slowly and lovingly dried each other off.  I pulled on an ancient pair of sweats and a ratty tee shirt, while Ben got dressed for work.

We had just sat down to breakfast when mom very hesitantly came into the kitchen.  You could tell from looking at her face that she wasn't really sure of her welcome, and almost seemed as if she was expecting to get yelled at for being there.

Ben smiled at her, got up and pulled a chair out for her saying, "Good morning mom!  Did you sleep well?"

Mom smiled rather nervously at him and answered, "Yes, thank you.  The bed is very comfortable."

I had gotten up and dished up some more of the bacon and eggs and popped two pieces of bread into the toaster.  Getting a mug from the cupboard, I poured her cup just barely over half full.  Ben watched as she dosed her coffee with mountains of sugar and filled her mug the rest of the way with milk.

Chuckling Ben said, "Ok then!  Now I see where you learned to drink coffee.  Like mother like son, yeah?"

Mom turned slightly red, and nodded her head.  She took a careful bite of the eggs, and her face registered surprise.  "Oh!  Who made the eggs, they are delicious."

"I did!  Ben taught me how."

"Now tell your mom the truth, that's the only thing for years that I knew how to cook that I didn't screw up.  It took Abby forever to teach me not to murder poor innocent eggs.  Derrick and I have been learning how to cook, which is nice for Abby, now we share making supper.  Abby one night and Derrick and I the next."

"Why do you and Derrick cook supper together?" Mom had a perplexed expression.

Ben and I broke out laughing and I answered mom saying, "Because we are stupidly slow that's why.

"Would it be ok if I made supper tonight?"

The toast popped up and I grabbed it and the orange marmalade from the fridge for mom.  At mom mentioning making dinner I knew immediately what I wanted her to make!

"Yes!!  And I know what I want!"

Mom smiled for the first time that morning a real true no holds barred smile.  "Let me see if I can guess, ok?"

"Sure!  Go for it."

"Pork tenderloin sandwiches, german potato salad, broccoli with lemon butter, and spice cake with cream cheese frosting?"

"Bing! Bing! Bing!  We have a winner!  And for being our grand prize winner today, you win a first class hug!"  I leaned over and gave mom a giant hug, and a little peck on her cheek.  Mom smiled up at me, and patted my cheek.

Glancing up at the clock, I realized that it was time to make breakfast for Abby, and got up and started working on her breakfast.  Ben went to visit with her while she got ready.  By the time Abby was ready, so was her breakfast, she sat and ate and chatted, what a nice way to start the day!  As much enjoyment as I take in my job, I could get used to being a house husband.  Hmm, I wonder if i could get paternity leave, if the child isn't my biological child?  Interesting thought……

All to soon it was time for Abby and Ben to head out to work, and it was a flurry of hugs and kisses for them both, and then they were gone.  The day stretched out in front of us, time to just sit and visit, and relearn each other, or so I thought!

"Honey, go change your clothing so you can take me to the grocery.  I'm sure that I'll need to pick up some things to make supper."

"Sure mom, I'll go change and then we can leave."  Smiling to myself about mom telling me to get changed, like anyone cares what I go grocery shopping in!  Not like I'm looking to impress, but if it makes mom happy who really cares?

Mom insisted on going up and down every aisle in the store.  Why?  Who knows, but that is the way she always grocery shopped, and who was I to tell her that was a silly waste of time?  While I pushed the trolley mom selected items to place in the cart, and we chatted about nothing important, but it was the reconnecting of our lives that was important.  Standing in line my phone calendar played its little jingle reminding me of….what I wasn't sure.  Pulling out my phone I saw that today was the day to pick up the dry cleaning, and since it was on the way home, mom and I would finish that chore as well.  After stowing the groceries away, I texted Abby and Ben that we were picking up the dry cleaning.  Syncing our to do lists really helped organize three fairly busy people.  After helping mom put the groceries away she started on the cake, and for the first time I can ever remember, I stayed and watched her make a cake.  Looks rather fiddly but maybe one day I'll give it a try.  After the cake hit the oven, I changed into a tattered pair of cut off jeans to go do some lawn work.  When mom saw the new large scar on my shoulder nothing would do but for me to tell her every detail about what happened, and then she noticed all of the burn scars along my neck and arms.  Which upset her that my job was that dangerous, I did try to allay her fears, and down play the dangerousness of it, but I'm not really sure that she bought it.

Mom sat on the patio and enjoyed the wonderful summer weather, a slight breeze ruffled the trees, birds sang from hidden branches, and the joyful shouts of kids playing.  Grabbing two glasses of lemonade from the fridge, yard work forgotten for the time being, I plopped down next to mom, handing a glass to her.  She smiled and sipped, as we sat in companionable silence.

"Hey mom?"

"Yes?"

"Umm, we are having a barbecue this weekend, and I thought I should warn you before hand.  All summer long we have been having parties and invited people that Abby or Ben or I know, and letting them see that we are a triplet.  A few times there have been words, loud words actually, with some fairly dramatic storming off.  I've gotten some rough words at work, but ask me if I care.  The days of hiding who I really am are over."

"Would you rather I not be here for the party?"

"No, no no!  I only told you so that you could be prepared.  We want you in our lives, yeah?"  We sat a while longer and then I heaved a big mental sigh and decided to tell her all.  "Mom?  We are having a wedding ceremony in October, Abby has already bought her dress.  I'm not sure about all the details yet as Abby is still working on them with her mom and sister in law, Nicki.  Abby and Ben proposed to me awhile back, they didn't want me to feel like a tacked on person in their marriage.  They wanted me to feel like an integral part of the collective us.  And……….ahh well after January Abby is going to stop taking her birth control pills and we are going to try for a baby."

"A wedding?  Oh honey, I'm so happy for you!  That means they love you enough to want to tell the world that they love you.  That does ease my heart a great deal.  And when you say "we" are going to try for a baby do you mean Ben?"

Blushing redder than any fire engine had ever been painted, I stuttered out, "Ummm,……ahhhh…….well no.  It's mmmm, ahhh……both of us.  Damn this is embarrassing, but we decided that it would be nice if both Ben and I could have a child.  I didn't really care one way or the other, a baby doesn't have to be mine for me to love, but Abby was especially insistent on that point.  She felt it wasn't fair for only Ben to have genetic children."

Mom by this time was red as well, but she pushed on saying, "Are you saying Abby and you……..ummm?"

Ok, could there be a worse conversation to have with your mom?  If there is, I don't want to know about it, cause this was agony.  "Yeah, me and Abby.  And yeah, to stop you having to ask, we have had sex once, and no, I'm still not interested in women sexually, I'm gay.  But if it's that important to her, to carry a child from me, who I am to say no?  So, there is a chance that you will be a grandmother."

"Oh honey, I would have loved any baby from your marriage, it wouldn't matter to me if it was Ben's or yours.  To me it tells me that Abby loves you a great deal to want to have your baby.  I don't want to pry, but could you tell me how you ended up with Abby and Ben, you only told me the thumbnail version yesterday."

I refreshed our glasses and told her the entire story of how we meet and fell in love, only editing out the sex. She hung onto every word, and had tears in her eyes  upon hearing about how we almost broke up, and how I would rather have left Ben than to have been the reason for his and Abby's divorce.  Then mom was smiling thru her tears when she was told the story of how Irene turned her back on Abby, and then thankfully wanted back into her daughters life.  Hearing that Ben had his brother, Alex back in his life but that there wasn't any hope for having a relationship with his parents, made her sad, then happy, and finally disgusted.  I agreed with her, how could anyone who built a child and loved them for years just decide that because they didn't "measure" up they were no longer of use to them.

After lunch I helped mom make the frosting for the cake and she let me frost it.  It was both tricky and fun, maybe I'll try making a cake after all.  I peeled the potatoes for the german potato salad and zested the lemon and juiced it for her, while she pounded the pork.  She said it actually took a bit of finesse not to pound straight through the meat, so she wouldn't let me do that, but had me watch so that I could learn how.

"I'm really sorry that I never taught you how to cook.  If I would have thought about it, cooking is a life skill that we all need to know how to do.  What on earth did you feed yourself on before Abby came along?"

"I….uhh, well I ate a lot of canned stuff, frozen stuff, and ton of sandwiches and cereal.  I found that if i put things on rice I wouldn't get hungry so quickly, because before Abby showed me how the only potato I could make was baked potatoes."

"Derrick honey?"

"Yeah mom?"

"Is Ben your first boyfriend since high school?"

"No, mom he isn't.  I had a few other boyfriends…..I was in a really bad relationship before Ben and Abby.  He was abusive to me, and when I realized that the abuse was getting to a dangerous point, I broke it off and I moved here about a year ago to get away from him.  The other guys that I called my boyfriends, to a great extent I think it was me being afraid of being alone, and not really prompted by actual love.  My heart is at home with Ben and Abby, I've never felt so at ease with any one in my life since I was a kid.  Before I met Ben I had no life, I went to work, came home and rarely went out even to eat.  I usually did either takeaway or had it delivered.  That night I met Ben was the first time I had gone out in over a month."

Mom heaved a huge sigh and gave me a wavery smile, "What is it with us?  We sure do seem to attract abusive partners."  Mom pounded the pork for a while longer then said, "But from the little I've seen the three of you together I can tell how much they do love you.  I'm so glad that you found the kind of love I had with your dad.  Do you remember your dad much, honey?"

"Only bits and pieces actually.  I've forgotten what he looks like, which really upsets me.  In any of those boxes do you have pictures of him?  Could you tell me about him mom?  I would love to know what he was like."

"Yes, I have a box of pictures, it was one of the boxes that you put in the car with me.  But if you want to know what he looked like, all you have to do is look in the mirror.  You have a bigger build than him, he was slighter than you are, and his eyes were blue rather than gray, you got your eye coloring from my mom, her eyes were the same shade of grey."

I sat quiet for a while afraid to ask the next question, but it just wouldn't lie still in my head, I had to voice it.  "Mom?  Would dad have been disappointed in me?"

"Now why would you think that?"

"Well, I didn't go to college like he did, and umm would he have hated me for being gay?"

"Your dad wasn't the snobby kind of guy at all!  And honey, your dad was so proud of you, he loved you so much.  As for you being gay?  I know with complete and utter certainty the only thing he would have cared about is the same thing I want for you, which is to be happy, and to find someone who will love you."

"He didn't hate gays then?"

"No honey he didn't."

"Mom?  Are you telling me the truth, or what I want to hear?"

"Derrick Lee Addison!!  I am appalled!  Of course I'm telling you the truth, honestly to accuse me of lying!  Well!"

Mom got up and went to her room, not quite slamming the door but she did shut it rather smartly.  Wow!  I can't remember the last time mom used my entire name to yell at me.  Talk about not being happy with someone!  Sigh, nothing to do but to go and apologize.  It took a bit of work, but I finally got her to accept my apology.  It wasn't that I didn't believe her, it was because I wanted so badly in my heart to know that my dad would have loved me without reservation, as a welder, as a gay man, as someone in a very unusual relationship.  Hearing her say that my dad would have loved me, been proud of my life as it is, seemed to be to good to be true, just to convenient for me to accept her words easily.  After smoothing things over with my mom, I showered and changed into a clean pair of shorts and a tee shirt to help mom finish preparing supper.